My stomach rolled. I could taste hastily eaten apple and sandwich, washed down with cold coffee on my tongue. I should stop doing that.
I saw it in her eyes. Those incredibly bright blue eyes. She smiled at my glance, peering at me above her novel.
Her eyes fluttered back down to her book, reaching for a drink bottle. Her long hair was braided tightly to her head. Meticulous girl.
Everything she did was carefully prepared. The slight makeup so she couldn’t be caught out. Just enough. Not too much.
Her notes and classwork were painstakingly written, highlighted, bordered. Lately she had begun putting love hearts in subtle ways. I knew what she was hinting at. And I was already burdened with it without the conversation even starting yet.
I returned to my seat, watching over everyone as they read, or at least held a book in their hands.
A boy caught my eye. He held a comic book dripping from his hands. Forgotten.
No, this boy had bigger thing on his mind than superheroes and villains.
He watched my teacher’s pet. Watched as she gently turned pages. Watched as her brow furrowed as she read. I could tell he wanted to know why she made all those faces at the pages. The surprised, the deep smile, the slight anger. He wanted to make her make those faces at him. He wanted to be allowed entry into whatever world she had made inside her head.
I could tell by his body language. The way he leaned in her direction. The nervous glances to catch every expression scattering across her face.
Poor boy.
She was already in love.
I called the class to attention. Watching as books were either placed or thrown into their homes. Teacher’s pet watched me, riveted already by nothing.
My coworkers thought it was cute. They smirked into their own cold coffees and made light jokes of it. Only one, an old experienced man with more white than grey in his beard. He said, “don’t let it explode. Fizzle it out gently. Or you’ll have a resentful creature on your hands.” He had swirled his coffee as though making it move might warm it up, “better to put up with it until the end of term then face a woman’s ire. No matter their size. She'll grow out of it."
I outlined the day’s lesson, watching Teacher’s Pet smile up at me from the corner of my eye. I looked straight at her and she blushed, sinking further into her seat.
“I have prepared pairs – so don’t start the frenzy of tagging people please. For now, you will do individual research and then next class combine with your chosen partner. You are to put the assignment together over the term and present it at the end.”
Now to begin the opening act.
I released the class into content chatting, pulling up my scapegoat.
“Tom,” I said under the hubbub. “I have a favor to ask you.”
“Whatever ya need Mr. K.”
“Good lad,” I said, “I’m going to call Kate to my desk after class. I need you to take a little longer to pack up. Chat to some people, loiter around. Then go back to your desk and start cleaning up.”
“Why Mr. K?”
So, I don’t lose my job? Can’t say that. So, I have a witness? Also no. So, I don’t get into some he-said, she-said scenario. Nope.
“Kate is going to get some bad news. She’ll need a friend.”
The boy perked up, catching my eyes.
This was his moment.
This was my moment too.
“I can be that Mr. K.”
“I know you can Tom. You’re a good kid.”
He nodded several times, a spark in his eyes.
Tom returned to his seat. I watched his friends badger him about our talk and he just said he needed to clear something work related. You know, because he’s a bit slow.
They good naturally let it go, after telling him no, he was no slow. He was thorough.
The bell rang too soon and not soon enough. The others packed up, I called Kate over.
She walked over carrying her books, cocking her head to the side at my request. I caught Tom quietly making his way back to his desk.
“Kate,” I said gently, “I need to talk to you about something that is going to be hard.”
“Whatever it is I can do it!” She cried, “I’m the best in the class!”
“No,” I sighed, “this isn’t school work Kate.”
I watched her puzzled face, “have I done something wrong?”
“Kate. You are creative, clever, and a hard worker. I have enjoyed being your teacher this year. You are quick to ask questions and willing to participate.”
I noted Tom slowly rearrange his comic in his desk from the mess of pages it was.
“I know, you have a slight crush on me Laura.”
A squeak exited her, her face growing hot. She went to step back, only stopping due to sheer Teacher-Pet standards. She would hear me out.
“Listen, I get it. We both love literature. We share a sense of humor. You are an excellent student because we click. But I will never return your feelings. Besides the fact it’s incredibly illegal – I love my wife.”
In an incredibly small voice she asked, “was it that obvious?”
“Laura, when you’re first in love…. you wear glasses that hide the bad things for a while. You love the easy things. That’s what a crush is. You don’t see the problems.”
“I made it hard and uncomfortable for you.” She whispered, eyes filled with tears, “I’m sorry.”
“No.” I said, smiling gently, “I am simply not swimming in your lane. I’m the next one over.”
“No one is in my lane.” She sniffed. “No one cares.”
“Laura, look at me.”
She looked, despite the tears sliding down her face. I hoped she saw the compassion and care I felt for her.
“Sometimes, its easier to love something you can’t reach, then the work it takes to have something for real. When the opportunity comes Kate – because it will. Take a turn in it. You can leave, or you can stay. But try it out first.”
She nodded as I handed her a tissue.
“Hey, Tom.” I said, watching him collect his final book. “Can you take Kate to your next class? Take all the time you need. I’ll cover it.”
Tom walked up to Kate, not touching her.
“Let’s go Kate. We’ll run past the library.”
He gently took her books from her hands, stuffing them into his bag. Then he led her away, talking softly to her. Behind them he lifted a hand in farewell.
Good Luck Boy.
I gently laid my head on the table and sighed.
Teenagers.
ns 15.158.61.54da2
