All rights reserved © Leigh - Ann Flowers
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Hope you enjoy the first chapter!!440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f3q82kU2I
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I am overwhelmed with the variety of noises digging into my ear canals. I suddenly feel dizzy. I am sitting in the most uncomfortable blue chair in the airport's waiting area. I have to go back home. I feel sick thinking about the enormous effect the last two months had on my life. My stomach physically hurts, my eyes are burning and probably visibly swollen. I feel like I'm going to vomit any second now. Shit! I can't do this. I can't leave him. It hurts so much but I have no choice. I have to force myself to get on that plane. Come on Leah, you have to pull yourself together. I know I have to be strong, but how? After everything that happened. How does one come back from that? How can I forget? 440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazlLPE02iH
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My cheeks are soaked. I can taste the saltiness of the drops running down into my lips. My thoughts travel back to where it all started. I go back to the exact moment. Exactly two months and 1 week ago. 440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa7jr1HaPN
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Leah's POV
"Mark, did you hear what I said?"
"Mark?" I say, slightly raising my voice.
"Yes, honey?" He murmures.
Great, I've just been given, maybe one of the biggest opportunities in my life and he is sitting in front of me with his eyes fixed on his laptop. His work, as usual, getting his full undivided attention. He is wearing a suit and tie that almost makes him blend in with the dark grey walls surrounding him. I am sitting in his study on the opposite side of his desk holding a red mug in my right hand. A mug containing scrumptious hot chocolate. With the other hand I am holding up the envelope I received in the mail yesterday morning, intentionally shoving it in his face, in the vain hope he would want to read it. It would be the understatement of the year to say that Mark Johnson is a workaholic, control freak and at this very moment, maybe the worst fiancé in the world.440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVwbqnYwkr
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I look up at the stylish wall clock hanging directly above Mark's head. It's a beautiful clock made from oak wood. Its clockwork is painted in black and it's decorated with the most elegant golden ring. I briefly take note of the time. It's 12:45. I have been sitting here for an entire 15 minutes. 440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsTUBusXDC
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"I have been chosen to write the songs for the musical Mark!" I yell in frustration.
"That's nice honey." He mumbles emotionless as he continues to viciously abuse his keyboard with his fingers.
That's nice? Are you fucking kidding me right now! His eyes remains fixed on his laptop, not once looking up to see what I am holding inches from his face. This is what I have been working so hard for, this will be the biggest turning point in my career and he couldn't care less.
A few weeks ago I received an email that changed everything. To be honest, sitting in this cold, colourless study, staring at a man that cannot be bothered to lift his head and look me in the eyes, all I can think about is that this email could not have come at a better time. At this very moment, I know this is exactly what I needed. The email was from the Preforming Arts Center in Los Angeles. They own the Mark Taper Forum Theater which is conducting a musical in a couple of months. They were looking for a new songwriter. My mother saw the add on television one night and immediately phoned me. At first I was sceptical but somehow she convinced me to send in my resume and a few of my original songs and within a week I received my application. I applied for the position with little to no hope of receiving any response. If I am being completely honest, I didn't have any hope. I only did it to get my mother off my back. Always listen to your mother. To my surprise I was invited for an online interview with a few of the directors. And guess what? Yesterday morning I received a formal letter as well as an email with a job offer which of course, I accepted right away without thinking twice about it. They already arranged my plane ticket. I am flying to Los Angeles in a week! I didn't want to tell Mark until it was final. Now I am sitting in front of him trying my very best to get his attention.
"I am going to America for two months!" I shout. I am staring straight at his dark brown, almost black hair at the top of his head.
Oh my god! I am better off talking to the wall. I look up at the clock again. Hello clock? Can YOU hear me? I am screaming and cursing at him in my head, perhaps choking him a couple of times. 440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3ImS9TjTB
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"I am leaving in a week!" I scream in frustration. AGAIN.
"You're what?" He says, surprised. Oh good, NOW I've got his attention. Releasing what I just said, he closes his laptop screen, calmly taking off his black framed glasses like he has all the time in the world and finally for the first time in 15minutes, looks up at me with his oh so famous, I am Mark Johnson, look. He is staring at me with his intimidating dark brown eyes. I already know what is going to happen next.
"You accepted the job offer without talking to me first?" He asks, sounding surprised. Here we go.
I quickly straighten my position in the chair and count to ten in my head. I take a breath, in and out, before answering his question. "Firstly, I don't need your permission Mark and secondly, this opportunity could open so many doors for me. Besides , it's only for two months." I reply.
"You're not going to America for two months by yourself Leah." He says, forcefully.440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JSo1DychP
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I knew it! He constantly wants to control everyone and everything around him and it's driving me nuts! Now that I think about it, perhaps it would have been better if I kept my mouth shut and gave him the news while I was boarding the flight from London to California.
"Mark, I am twenty five years old. I am a grown woman. I believe I can do this by myself." I say irritably.
"I am sure you can honey." He mutters sarcastically. "But, I am going with you."
Wait? What?! No, no, no, no, NO! There is no way I am going to let him ruin this for me.
Yes, I want him to be proud of me for once, for him to take an interest in the things that I love, including my work, and yes, I want him to be a normal fiancé and support me as much as I support him. But, to be honest, I do not want him coming on this trip with me. For three years its been all about Mark and his company. I dedicated so much of my time and I have given up so much of my dream for him. He hasn't done the same for me. All the business dinners I am forced to attend, all the work parties which make me feel uncomfortable, hanging around far-famed and successful businessmen with their model looking wives isn't really my idea of fun, and to be honest, it's all silently suffocating me. I need to take a break from him and his nerve-wracking life. I need to get away for a bit and breathe. This is the only chance I get to focus on my dream without him trying to control me every minute of every day. It's exhausting.
I stand up from where I was sitting, trying to remain calm, even though I am overwhelmed with anger and frustration.
"I am not a child, Mark." I say as calmly as I possibly can. "And even if you wanted to go with me, they are not expecting me to bring a partner. They are only covering all the expenses for one person. They emailed me a couple of hours ago, they are making arrangements for me to stay at one of the hotels near the theater in Los Angeles where I will be working as we speak." I explain. "And I am sure you have more important things to do than to babysit me in America." I add confidently.
"Babysit you? Don't be ridiculous Leah. It sounds like you're making excuses." He says.
Not giving me any chance to defend myself he continues, "besides, I think I can manage the expenses for both of us. Send them an email right away asking them to stop all the arrangements for the hotel." He is speaking to me like he would speak to one of his staff members, ordering them to bring him a cup of coffee or something.
He opens his desk drawer and takes out his black notebook filled with pages full of scribble and yellow sticky notes. He is making notes while talking. "I will arrange a hotel for the two of us and let me know on which flight they booked you so I can book the same flight, assuming of course that it will be first class." He says sarcastically.
"I cant expect them to..."
"Stop making excuses, Leah!" He quickly interrupts. "I am going with you or you are not going at all. End of discussion. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do."
After putting on his glasses, he close his notebook and opens up his laptop again, giving me a go away now look, as always, leaving no room for any discussion. I am not going to win this battle. Then again, I never do.
I pick up my red mug and look down into the half empty cup of lukewarm hot chocolate. I lost my appetite for something that I usually enjoy. Suddenly all the excitement is gone. This morning it felt like all my dreams came true. For the first time in what felt like forever I had a reason to get out of bed. I wanted to climb to the top of the highest building I could find and shout it to the world. And just like that, after spending less than 30 minutes with Mark, the biggest opportunity in my life does not feel so dreamy anymore.
I grab my letter from his desk and as I turn around leaving the study, I have a small debate with myself in my head.
Really Leah? You are really going to marry this guy?
Why?
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It's so stupid, isn't it? That I can't be a strong and confident woman when I'm around Mark? You don't have to say it, I can't stand up for myself. I let him walk all over me and treat me like I am his property. I am weak
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