Someone had handed me an FBI windbreaker and I pulled the edges of the large jacket tightly around myself as I waited for an EMT to finish an initial exam on Grace. All the girls were getting an initial check here and then would be brought to a local hospital for more complete care. When the EMT tried to examine me, I brushed him off. Physically I was fine. The cut and bruise on my cheek from when Creeper had repeatedly backhanded me was the only physical injury that I had to represent my time within that warehouse.
When the EMT moved on to look at another girl, Grace reached out and grabbed my hand. When I looked over at the younger girl to see what she needed her eyes were trained on her knees. She didn’t need anything other than my support right now. And that was something I could give to her.
When another EMT instructed us to get into the ambulance, Liam simply picked up his sister and stepped up into the back of the ambulance. Grace refused to let go of my hand and I was pulled inside along with them. Liam’s massive frame took up most of the space and I was forced to press my side up along his to sit on the same bench in order to keep ahold of Grace’s hand. I remained tense throughout the ride to the hospital and was relieved when the ambulance stopped and the EMT opened the back door for us.
I stepped out and was closely followed by Liam holding his little sister. The emergency room nurses tried to get Liam to put Grace down on a gurney, but he just strode inside the door of the ER with me trailing closely, still holding Grace’s hand. We were directed to a curtained-off cubicle that contained one hospital bed on wheels and a lot of medical equipment. Liam gently placed Grace on the bed and cupped her face with his big hands. The intensity of the love and concern that poured out of Liam was making me uncomfortable and I tried to leave the small curtained space to give them some privacy. But when I tried to release Grace’s hand, she let out a small, “No, please don’t leave me” in a pleading voice. I couldn’t find it within myself to deny the girl, so I remained by Grace’s side.
It was either extremely late or very early, but the New York emergency room was still busy, and it took a while for a doctor to join us. I tried and failed several times to retreat into my state of zen but my emotional stress proved to be too much to push aside at the moment. A kind-looking doctor finally walked to Grace’s bedside and started asking Grace questions in a gentle understanding voice that worked to soothe the traumatized girl. After giving some very difficult answers in a small voice the doctor informed us that Grace was going to have undergo a sexual assault forensics exam. I glanced up and saw that Liam’s jaw was rock hard and the hand that wasn’t holding Grace’s was balled in a tight fist. This must be torture for Liam to hear about.
“Grace,” I said in a soft voice to get her attention. “You are safe now. No one is going to touch you unless you say they can. And the exam that the doctor is suggesting is going to be uncomfortable and scary. You do not need to do it. But if you choose to go through with it, I will be here the entire time. I will keep you safe, Grace. And it will help put the men that hurt you behind bars for a very long time.” Silent tears started streaming down the girl's face and I was starting to regret my words when Grace looked up at me and nodded her head.
“Do you-,” Liam started but had to cough to clear the emotion from his voice before continuing. “Do you want me to stay Gracie?”
It was the first time that I had heard Liam speak since the rescue. The tears running down Grace’s cheek started dropping onto her lap as she looked down and shook her head. She didn’t want her brother in the room when they did the exam. Grace’s grip on my hand increased. I looked up to see if Liam was offended that Grace wanted me and not him, but he just looked slightly relieved. Liam leaned down and kissed Grace’s head and then stepped outside of the cubicle and pulled the curtain closed. I could still see his large boots and knew that we would not go far.
I had never had to go through a rape kit myself, but I could imagine the shame and fear that Grace must be feeling right now. I tried to distract Grace by telling her about my time in Cuba and my first impressions of Liam and the other Whistler agents. When I admitted that her brother had scared me shitless the first time we met, Grace let out a semi-hysterical laugh through her tears. “Ya, most people find him scary but to me, he is a big teddy bear,” she said in a wobbly tear-filled voice.
“A damn scary teddy bear,” I replied, and Grace let out another laugh.
“He looked really mad when he came into that room. I have never seen him look so mad,” Grace admitted in a small voice.
“Grace, he was mad that anyone would even consider hurting you. He was mad at the men that took you. He was NOT mad at you. I promise that he is not mad at you and he is so happy to have you back. What happened to you was not your fault. And your brother knows that.”
“He does?” Her small scared voice broke something inside of me. I knew the crushing guilt and shame all too well and hated that Grace was having to go through this right now.
I moved to look Grace in the eye before I said, “I swear he is not mad at you. And nothing was your fault.” Fresh tears slid down her face and she released a breath I didn’t know she had been holding. The doctor finished the exam and the moment that she said she was done Liam was through the curtain and picking up Grace’s other hand. I had no doubt that Liam heard every word of our conversation.
The doctor took a few minutes to clean up and label the samples that she had taken before stepping closer to me and asking to speak to me. When I stepped away from the bed, Grace continued to refuse to let go of my hand. I guessed that I was acting as Grace’s safety blanket right now and didn’t want to leave the girl. “Is this important?” I asked the doctor in a low voice.
“I just wanted to ask if you needed an exam too,” the doctor asked in an equally low voice. From the corner of my eye, I saw Liam’s head snap towards us and I could feel his intense attention as he waited for my answer.
I swallowed before answering honestly. “I do not need an exam, but I will require antibiotic treatment.” I knew that STDs could be transmitted through oral sex and wanted to make sure that didn’t happen. I looked over and saw pity in Liam’s eyes and hated it. I did not need Liam to pity me. I had lived through much worse than what had happened tonight and survived. This time would be no different and knowing that I had control over my own life now would help.
Grace and I were admitted to the hospital and moved to a private room. They had sedated Grace and she was sleeping in the bed while I sat near her bed, still holding her hand. The nurses had given me an IV and I was currently receiving the first dose of the broad-spectrum antibiotics. Liam was acting as sentry in a chair by the door and would look over every person that was brave enough to enter the room.
As the room started to fill with morning light I was startled out of dozing by a knocking at the door. I looked over and saw that a tired-looking Joey sporting the same FBI windbreaker that I was still wearing was standing in the door. Liam rose to his full height and blocked Joey’s way into the room.
“How is your sister doing?” Joey asked Liam in a subdued voice.
“She is resting and shouldn’t be disturbed right now,” Liam replied in a clear chastisement.
Joey nodded his head and moved sideways until he was able to see past Liam and meet my eyes. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”
I glanced over at Grace and checked that she was still sleeping before I extracted my hand carefully from Grace’s grip and stood. I had to wheel the tall metal pole that held my IV bag along with me as I moved to stand next to Liam. Before I could walk past Liam, Joey took a backpack off his shoulder and held it out towards me. “I brought you some clothes to change into.” I took the bag gratefully and slowly moved into the bathroom to change.
I discovered that I was oddly sore and uncoordinated as I struggled to change into the men’s sweatpants and shirt that Joey had brought. Then I reflected on all that had happened and that I hadn’t slept in over 36 hours and decided to give myself a break for being a little off-balance. I took the time to scrub my face and hands with hot soapy water and did my best to get the dried semen out of my hair. I could kill for a shower right now. I emerged from the bathroom in an old FBI academy sweatshirt and saw that Joey was waiting for me out in the hall. I double-checked that Grace was still sleeping and then went to face special agent Joe McDonald.
We walked down the hallway until Joey found an empty patient room to duck into. I followed him into the room while dragging my IV pole with her. I noticed that Joey was being careful to not get too close to me and I appreciated his respect for my personal space. Once both were in the room Joey closed the door and turned to look at me. His gaze roamed from the IV bag to my bruised knuckles and lingered on the cut on my cheek before he met my eyes.
“How are you feeling?” He asked in a quiet voice.
“I am fine,” I responded, “Tired but fine.” Joey gave me a tight smile that reflected his doubt in my words, but he didn’t say anything to correct the statement.
“There were seventeen members of the Los Zetas Cartel at the warehouse last night,” Joey explained in the same calm voice. “When we went in, four were killed in crossfire and another five were brought to a different hospital to treat gunshot wounds and other injuries. The man referred to as Jefe is Javier Revera and is a major player within the cartel. We think that he was visiting here on business from one of their larger operations in Mexico. It was just good luck that he was there with a semi-truck full of stolen and illegal weapons.”
Of course, Joey would tell me about the bad guys that he arrested before telling me about the girls. I was still worried about Molly and Julie, the two girls that had been kidnapped but not located at the warehouse.
“Any news on the girls that we didn’t find?”
“No. But the Hispanic women that we rescued are all illegal and said they were brought to the U.S. after they were kidnapped from public places in Mexico. I believe that the cartel is muling Mexican girls up here to be sold in the states. If that is true, then the logical answer is that they are also sending some American women to be sold in Mexico.”
“Now that you have Javier and other cartel members, will you be able to rescue the girls down in Mexico?” I asked with a note of desperation in my voice. When will this nightmare end?
“We can’t. But if we knew exactly where the girls were being kept, I could make sure the CIA and the state department got that information. I am sure they would work to rescue American citizens that are victims of human trafficking.” Joey was an FBI agent through-and-through. It was protocol to kick the information to a different organization and that was what he would do and consider his responsibility to those girls done. He didn’t even consider the Mexican girls that were most likely also being held alongside the American ones.
“Will Javier tell you where they are keeping the girls?” I assumed he would trade the information for some kind of deal. And I knew first hand that the FBI loved to make deals to get more information. What I didn’t expect was for my question to make Joey shift from foot to foot in obvious agitation. Something more was going on here. Something that was making Joey nervous.
“No. Javier lawyered up and his lawyer told us that Javier would talk, but only to you.” Jefe’s whispered promise that we would finish our conversation later as he stroked my lips played through my tired mind.
“Why would he want to talk to me? I am not FBI. I cannot get him a deal,” I told Joey in an effort to separate myself from this situation. I really didn’t want to talk to el Jefe again.
“It’s a power play. I heard the recording from inside the warehouse. In Javier’s eyes, you were responsible for the FBI raid. You intrigue him, and he wants to make you suffer. If you were to talk to him, it won’t be a pleasant conversation.” My stomach turned at Joey’s admission that he had listened to the recording from the device around my neck. That means he not only knew what I had allowed Creeper to do but had also listened to it. I lowered my eyes to the floor as a familiar shame gripped me. I knew that Joey had a low opinion of me, but this was a new level of humiliation for even me.
I was tired and didn’t want to be in a closed room with the man I had once loved and trusted. I didn’t want to walk into the FBI and play Jefe’s sick game and expose more of myself to the watching FBI agents. What I wanted was to get on a plane and fly back down to Cuba. I wanted to pretend that I was a good and decent human being that could work within a Whistler private security team. I wanted to forget Harper White and embrace Payton Taylor.
But neither Harper nor Payton could turn her back on girls who were experiencing some of the horrors I myself had to live through. If one unpleasant conversation would help them then I would face it.
I didn’t leave with Joey when he left to return to the FBI headquarters. Instead, I returned to Grace’s hospital room and told Liam about Javier Revera’s demand. I could see that he was torn between going with me to the FBI and staying to guard Grace while she slept.
“It’s okay Liam. You can stay here. I will tell you how it goes down.” In reality, I hoped that Liam would decide to stay at the hospital. I could guess what Javier would demand to know in exchange for the location in Mexico the cartel was keeping the girls and I would rather keep that story from Liam.
“No. I just talked to the nurse and she said that Grace would sleep for hours. I will come with you.” I just nodded in response as disappointment sank heavily in my stomach. Today was going to suck. I went to talk to the nurse about getting my IV pulled out and checked out of the hospital. I was not going to talk to Javier in Joey’s old sweat pants and I was in desperate need of a shower, so we returned to the hotel. I took a scorching hot shower and scrubbed every inch of my skin and washed my hair three times. I also brushed my teeth three times and had to convince myself that I couldn’t still taste Creeper.
When I emerged from the shower Liam was passed out cold on one of the untouched beds. I figured he really needed some rest and that Javier could wait an hour. I texted Joey’s burner phone letting him know that we would be late and then opened my laptop to start researching top psychologists and immigration lawyers in the city.
When it reached a decent hour to start making calls I reached out to Dr. Mia Hollinger. Mia had literally written the book on post-traumatic stress caused by sexual assault and abuse and was considered one of the best doctors in her field. She was also one of the only people I trusted in this world. I knew Mia could help Grace get past what had happened to her. After a brief rundown of what happened, Mia agreed to help and said she would head over to the hospital to sit with Grace in case she woke up before we returned. I then started down the list I had created until I had set up individual psychologists and lawyers that would help the other eight women that I had helped rescue.
Working to make sure that those women got the help they needed, helped me combat the flood of emotions that were threatening to break through my weakened defenses. I looked at the time and noticed that almost two hours had passed and decided it was time to face the music and go down to the FBI. I woke up Liam and after he took a quick shower, we exited the hotel and allowed the door attendant to call us a taxi. As we waited, I felt a small pressure on my arm and I looked down to see that Liam was touching me. I looked up at him and noticed the intensity that was burning through his eyes.
“Thank you, Payton. I can’t even begin to say how much you have done for me and Grace. Thank you.” My throat closed with emotion and my eyes started to burn. There it was again. Liam was looking at me like I was a hero. I just hoped that he still thought the same after my confrontation with Javier.
When the cab arrived at the FBI, I had to hand the weapons I was carrying over to security again and I found it harder to accomplish this time around. It was Tom, Joey’s partner, that met us and escorted us back to the interview rooms. We entered a small room that looked into the actual interview room and I saw that Javier was sitting at the table with his hands cuffed to the table next to another man that was dressed in a very expensive-looking suit. Must be Javier’s lawyer, I thought to myself.
“Joe is on his way,” Tom said in explanation. “He is just finishing up with one of the other cartel members that we brought in. It has been quite busy around here since the trick you two pulled last night. This is the biggest bust we have pulled off all year.” I realized that I hadn’t thanked any of the agents that had come in to rescue me and the other girls.
“Yes, the agents did a great job raiding the warehouse, were you there?” I asked.
“Sure was. Took me a while to get there because Joe had me sitting in The Church to stop your plan before it even started.” Tom drawled in his southern accent. I should have known that Joey wouldn’t have just let me go through with the plan after he told me it was a bad idea.
“Ah, well I was two blocks down at Push,” I admitted to the older man.
“Yeah, we should have figured you would change locations on us last minute. The more I find out about you the more a move like that fits.”
“That one was all Liam. So, you can go ahead and blame this whole thing on him okay,” I said to lighten the mood.
“Well however it happened, I know one thing for sure. That boy was worried sick about you.” Yes, I would agree that Joey was worried about me. I just didn’t know if I cared.
“Do we need to wait for Joey or can we get started? I know Liam is anxious to get back to the hospital.”
“I don’t see why we can’t start. I just figured you would want Joe to go in with you.” God, that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t know if I would have the strength to play Jefe's game if Joey was in the room silently judging me. Logically I knew that he would be doing the same thing in this small room as he watched through the one-way mirror, but to me it was different. It would be better all around if Joey wasn’t involved in this.
When I shook my head Tom continued. “Okay well, I don’t know what Javier will tell you but try to get him to reveal the location where they are keeping more girls and any details about the drug and gun trade that we can use to continue to break down their organization and prosecute the cartel members.”
I could care less about taking down the criminal organization. That was the FBI’s job. Not mine. All I cared about was ensuring that the search for those girls didn’t stop here. If this didn’t work out, maybe I could convince Ethan to have the Whistler team go after the girls themselves.
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