Cinder stared at the table that they sat at. The oval shaped wood was painted a dark red color to match the rest of the kitchen that spanned the entire right side, ending only at the wall that separated the living room from the giant kitchen. It was pretty and might have caught Cinder's attention to look at every detail in it, if their conversation wasn't as grueling as it was. 

"That warlock is bound to find us. We can't stay hidden for long. And he's apparently really good at breaking my illusions, so that's out of the question. Plus, he'll be looking for it now," Lyn spoke up again, repeating the same mantra for the umpteenth time. 

"We know that," Kydyn responded, but he was nearing his wits end. Cinder could tell by the Irish accent that thickened when he was angry. 

"He must be working for the rebels," Cinder said, even though he was pretty sure everyone else had come to that conclusion without his pointing it out. "We should head back to the Capitol."

"And what do you propose we do when we get there?" Kydyn let his chair fall forward, boots hitting the floor just as hard as the wooden legs of the seat. He leaned on the table, glaring at him from the other end. "Do you think the old codgers are going to protect us? You're an outright moron to believe that. We are the ones who fight the rebels not them. They're fucking ancient! They don't have that kind of power anymore."

"I didn't say they should protect us, I'm saying that if they're after the rebels, than maybe bringing the warlock to them would be a great start. Seems to me this guy is the rebel's strongest asset. There are plenty of council members there that could lend a hand in binding this asshole and then..." Cinder paused. He knew what was going to happen after they bound him, but saying it was difficult.

"Kill him." Kydyn finished it for him.

"Even though he's not black."

"He's trying to kill us. Well. You more than us, but we're in the way. Doesn't matter. He's killing people and those explosions in the city? You can bet your pretty ass those were his doing too. Would you like to know how many innocent people died?"

Cinder swallowed hard. He had a general idea that it had been a lot. Several buildings had fallen, utterly destroyed by the explosions. Hell one of those buildings would have killed all of them if not for Kydyn's quick reaction to it. Cinder couldn't deny that he was powerful. Of course he knew that all along, but it was always a little astonishing when Kydyn got serious and did amazing things such as that. 

"Maybe he's right," Jika said. His interjection between Cinder and Kydyn took both of them by surprise. Kydyn's, though, quickly turned to anger as he propped his head up on his fist. 

"Yeah? How so?"

"The council has plenty of people who can expend that kind of power to keep him bound for you. Killing him could very well tip the balance in this fight and the rebels would have lost their one source of deadly power. They don't have the magus. We do. That warlock is the only other danger to us right now. Take him out and we might as well have called this war won."

Kydyn sat for a long while, staring at Jika. Then his lips parted into a wicked smile and he tilted his head off to the side. "Sacrifice a few of those old bastards for the good of the many. I kind of like it."

"Wait. I didn't say—"

"Doesn't matter," Kydyn cut off Cinder with the snarled words. "You don't think some of those ancient assholes aren't going to die anyway? Even if that warlock isn't black, he's still going to kill them. It's war, Cinder. Deal with it."

"That doesn't mean we get to just sacrifice whoever we want!" Cinder slammed his hands on the table and stood, knocking the chair over as he did so. 

"Cinder," Lyn reached out but Cinder slapped his hand away.

"I don't care what you think, or how you expect me to just go along with this fucked up plan!"

"You're the one who suggested we go to the Capitol," Kydyn growled, low and menacing. His eyes were sparking again. That time though, Kydyn wasn't just pissed off. His anger was darker than usual. He rose up from his seat as well, though slower than Cinder had done. 

Cinder bit his tongue. He had suggested it, but he hadn't thought that they would be sacrificing people in the midst of it either. He couldn't think of anything to say back to Kydyn and the warlock seemed to know it too. He shoved off the table, lifting his head up as he sneered at Cinder. 

"Maybe it's because you're finally white, or maybe you're just naive and annoying as hell. I don't know what it is, nor do I care. But you better start realizing that a lot of shit happens when fighting breaks out. A lot of it can't be controlled. So you either prepare for it, or you get washed away in it. War isn't pretty, Cinder. It fucking sucks. No one's a winner when it comes down to it. Everyone loses. And because everyone loses, that just keeps the circle going. Hatred. Revenge. Blood lust. It's an endless cycle. It's what happens when you put people together. We just aren't made to get along."

"We can get along. It's not that hard."

"Really? Then when we lure that warlock to the Capitol, I'll let you go talk to him and we'll see how well you two get along. Don't scream for me when he decides killing you is far more ideal than listening to you prattle on."

Cinder's teeth clicked together as he shut his mouth hard. He glared at Kydyn. The silence grew heavy. Tension was so tight that Cinder could feel it trembling, nearing snapping in half. His fingers had dug into the wood and his nails were hurting as he stood there. It was the throbbing of coming close to breaking something in his hands that took him away from fighting with Kydyn. He took a step back and nearly tripped over the chair that he'd knocked over. Anger mounted and he turned and kicked it out of his way.

Storming from the room, Cinder left them to finish talking. If he stayed for much longer he knew he couldn't resist the urge to lunge across the table and strangle Kydyn. It was better if he went somewhere else to clear his head. Yanking the door open to the backyard, he stepped out and was assaulted by icy cold air. It was nearing noon but there was no sign of sunlight. Instead, the sky was blanketed by gray clouds thick with the smell of rain. The wind was picking up just enough to send shivers all across his body. Cinder took a seat in one of the metal chairs on the porch and stared out across the small yard. 

It didn't take long for the clean air and the cold chill to wash away the heat of his anger. Once he had a clear mind, he realized that what Kydyn had said was definitely true. War brought death. A lot of times those deaths were not something anyone could control. The council wanted the rebels, and taking the warlock to them would certainly result in a lot of them dying. Yet, they were the only ones who could help Cinder and the others in getting rid of the powerful adversary. If they tried to do it on their own, it would result in all of them dying and then the rebels would have what they wanted. 

Cinder's death.

Or worse. If they killed everyone else, they could easily just take Cinder and begin that horrible ritual again to force him into black magic. He shuddered. The memory of the woman who had gone black scared him. She was mindless. Little more than an enraged animal that wouldn't stop killing. He was afraid that if those people hadn't killed her, she might have kept going until there was nothing left but her and a scorched world. Even then would that have been enough to sate her blood lust? Cinder didn't want to think about it, let alone entertain the notion that he could easily become something like that if the rebels got their hands on him. 

Leaning back in the chair, he bit the inside of his cheek and closed his eyes. He felt horrible. Of course Kydyn had been right. He knew it better than most, Cinder was certain of that. Kydyn had been fighting the rebels for a long time. Cinder hadn't even known about the rebels until they'd captured him on his way home several months ago. How long had it been exactly since Cinder had been thrown into the chaos? He let out a sigh. Counting back it was almost half a year. Most of it was spent training his mind and body to become accustomed to his magic, something that he should have had control over a long time ago. Just over five months, he thought to himself as he watched the white puffs of air steam from his mouth. It hadn't snowed in years, but it rained like hell. Cinder wondered idly if they'd see snow this year. 

His mind turned back to his magic. He felt like he was flailing around with his power while everyone else made their magic look so easy to accomplish. But having been sealed by his mother, he hadn't a clue he was a magus at all. Not until Kydyn. No. Not even then. It wasn't till after the council had unsealed him that he realized it. Believed it at any rate. Thinking back on it, he found himself wondering yet again what it was his mother had said to him right before shoving him out into the snow. He knew it was important. Urgent even, but it was clouded from his memory, almost like something was suppressing it. Cinder frowned as he opened his eyes and stared at the overhang that protected the deck from the weather. Rain was starting to plink onto the shingles, pounding out a smooth rhythm. 

Cinder listened to it for a while before he was taken by his thoughts again. It felt like there was quite a bit that was being kept from him. Things that he should know but couldn't quite grasp because they were constantly out of reach. He didn't enjoy that feeling at all. It wasn't right. In fact, it was all sorts of wrong. Cinder grimaced as he straightened in the metal chair and looked out across the yard again. The rain was coming down harder, forming a perpetual sheet of water. 

If the council had triggered his memory during the unsealing process, perhaps they could do the same thing for the rest of his memories. It was driving him nuts knowing that there was something important just on the edge of his conscious. Being unable to get it, though, was frustrating. 

"There you are." Jika's voice startled him. 

Cinder turned in the chair and stared at the druid for a moment before breathing out his pent up air and putting his head down on his arms. "Hey," he muttered. "S-sorry for earlier. I just...." Cinder paused. He wasn't sure how he should approach the subject of his earlier behavior. Jika understood as he stepped out onto the deck and crossed his arms.

"It's fine. It's because you're in white magic. You're a healer. A mender. Not a killer. It's natural to have a reaction like that to killing people, and to the deaths of others. I'd rather have you like this than black and having no care for anyone at all. But. Kydyn is right you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"He might not look it, but he doesn't enjoy killing either. I'm pretty sure I told you that before. He cares. In his own way."

Cinder glared at the deck through the holes of the metal table he was leaning on. "You told me. It's hard to see it though. He's so difficult."

"Just the way he is. If he let every little thing bother him, he'd be a complete mess. Warlocks are already gray. Having one go black would be devastating. Almost as bad as a magus."

"I can see that," Cinder said softly, not really meant for Jika to hear but the druid did anyway.

"His bad attitude has nothing to do with it. It's how powerful he is. He's the second most powerful magic user other than you. The difference is in what you both use for magic. You're a shield basically. He's the sword. You both won't always get along, but it would help if you understood each other a little better."

Cinder's immediate response to that was shut down as the door opened and Kydyn walked out onto the porch. He glanced between the two of them before flashing his usual grin. "You might make Lyn jealous by getting cozy with our princess, Jika."

"If anyone is going to get jealous it'll be you," Jika retorted without missing a beat. 

Cinder felt his body tighten. He expected Kydyn to turn on Jika like a wild dog, but he never did. If anything his smile grew broader. "Just saying. In any case. We better get moving. You want to drag that warlock to the Capitol? Best do it now while we still have the upper hand on him. Last thing I want is to get caught halfway there and die horribly because we failed at this."

"No one's going to die horribly," Cinder said, sighing as he stood up.

"You sound confident in that. Think you can protect us from him?"

"Yeah, actually, I do. In the least I'd die trying."

Kydyn's playful grin faded. He wasn't quite frowning, but there was a slight pull at the edges of his lips. "Not happening." Was all he said before turning on his heel and heading back into the house. 

Cinder sighed and threw his hands up. Leaning back, he rubbed at his face and groaned. "Okay, what the hell did I say this time?"

"To be honest. I'm not quite sure," Jika answered.

"You're no help."