澄澈的白光透進窗簾,王芝蘭伸手放在頭髮上,緩緩張開眼,只見王父和王母坐到身側,王父拍了拍坐得太久而酸軟的腰骨,看見的女兒甦醒急不及待走出門外叫喊護士,王母叫停:「按聆叫醫生就可以了!快看她現在怎樣」。57Please respect copyright.PENANAN5INn4pOZZ
57Please respect copyright.PENANAUVKo0seYO3
王芝蘭摸著肚子,傳來饑腸轆轆的咕咕聲,飢餓得全身乏力,王母見狀便走到座椅的放置的袋中翻找,隨後遞上一盒飯,王芝蘭什麼都沒說,看見食物就逼不及待進食。57Please respect copyright.PENANAPLdubETbNX
57Please respect copyright.PENANAsUAfWu8qJ2
王父回到病房坐到椅子上,拿起水擰開瓶蓋喝水恢復神智,王母埋頭他耳邊輕語商量一些事,只待王芝蘭完食後他們才開口說話。57Please respect copyright.PENANAhKU8MxoI2Z
57Please respect copyright.PENANAOwOXOQnsBD
王父:「你在路邊淋雨昏迷倒地,報紙檔老闆聽到聲音發現你,幫你call白車。」57Please respect copyright.PENANARRgYBcmgjq
57Please respect copyright.PENANAsTkW07URMo
王芝蘭神智還是有些許迷糊,只記得看到雜誌後精神受到巨大衝擊,身體承受不住就眼前一眼睡去,未回應什麼,王母也開聲說道:「你不舒服就休息幾日別上學,我們不逼你。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAJVx6aPJiq4
57Please respect copyright.PENANASuVJirL9jy
王芝蘭眨了眨眼,低頭看向床榻:「我現在什麼地方都不應該去。」 57Please respect copyright.PENANA3aGGdJcLXh
57Please respect copyright.PENANAeYRVy7NkL4
話畢,醫生轉即走進病房,對幾人打招呼,幫王芝蘭做些簡單檢查,再說明當時她被送進醫院的情況,昏迷指數13屬於輕微腦震盪,需要留院觀察三天。57Please respect copyright.PENANA1xz27UImpk
57Please respect copyright.PENANAmhfAqLyJcP
王父招待醫生離開病房,王母的右手放到王芝蘭額頭量體溫,微涼的溫度傳到手指,說道:「沒發燒。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAFfvsQY5nQO
57Please respect copyright.PENANA9l95Kbx3iI
王父回來後說道:「那日沒陪你上庭,只是不想你有更大的壓力。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAgwgueFrQAP
57Please respect copyright.PENANAj1MFuvjaaW
王芝蘭眼神只有平靜:「你們陪不陪我,所有人都覺得錯的是我。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAAS9btN0nYr
57Please respect copyright.PENANAhLJbokM6ms
王母:「那就由他們說去吧!最重要的是法官怎麼判。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAxJTis7ZHUz
57Please respect copyright.PENANAeKqgOjgb7E
王父看了眼手錶,轉即問道:「你什麼時候覆診,這次我們陪你去。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA7im4SzsthH
57Please respect copyright.PENANA4SkqoJdbOR
王芝蘭對於突如其來的關心,雖然感到不可思議,心裡還有些彆扭地反覆拉扯著,可目前的情形別無他法拒絕,只能答應他們。57Please respect copyright.PENANAzyyOjXhGcW
57Please respect copyright.PENANAURuZ4QmmVt
「下星期三」57Please respect copyright.PENANAdvdfgBYbP8
57Please respect copyright.PENANAwn6EiTstxj
「還有,媒體報導干擾案件進行,對我造成輿論壓力,能不能控告。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAbRMYcFrvR9
57Please respect copyright.PENANAQq3FLa4Fs7
王芝蘭心中掙扎一番,終於鼓起勇氣說出最著緊的事情,願意和父母坦誠說出這個想法,王父和王母亦願意正視這件事,一家人商量對策,力求最合理的解決方法。57Please respect copyright.PENANARBE5zPkJeo
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——57Please respect copyright.PENANAG7hmUqVCZg
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常康醫院精神科57Please respect copyright.PENANAsdS2ngfODi
57Please respect copyright.PENANA0LoatOmz7K
王芝蘭在父母陪同下走進精神科門診,等待期間,王母感嘆兩年前女兒確診躁鬱症的時候,不斷覆診和吃精神科藥物,現在又來到這熟悉的地方,王父則走動觀看牆上關於精神健康的海報和宣傳冊。57Please respect copyright.PENANA983JwlKU8d
57Please respect copyright.PENANAfrXnGLcyY5
躁鬱症,又稱雙相情感障礙,躁狂和抑鬱同時出現的心理障礙,躁期發作的表現為情緒高漲、精力旺盛,鬱期發作的表現為情緒低落、失去動力,病患會經歷嚴重情緒波動,維持至少數週或數月。分為四類型,分別是雙相情感障礙一型、雙相情感障礙二型、急速循環、循環性情緒病。每一百個人之中,有一個人會患上此病,發病年齡多數於青年時期或之後。57Please respect copyright.PENANApsFjQVyyu1
57Please respect copyright.PENANAj5Dl2BxJGm
處方藥物主要為鋰劑,作為情緒穩定劑,需要服用三個月或以上才能發揮作用,患者亦有機會服用多種藥物進行治療。57Please respect copyright.PENANADqnXCnZonW
57Please respect copyright.PENANAQumS2t3pQZ
家人及朋友可以做的事,就是嘗試耐心理解患者。57Please respect copyright.PENANAmxPiaqurSG
57Please respect copyright.PENANAIkcYdoWth6
「王芝蘭」57Please respect copyright.PENANAqcOSAXodO1
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聽聞護士叫號後,王芝蘭離開走廊椅子走進房間,王父回到椅子坐下等待。57Please respect copyright.PENANAyropv62rpE
57Please respect copyright.PENANAL4LyV0VflH
經過一個月再來覆診,醫生也許知道這陣子她所經歷的事,難道還要一遍又一遍覆述嗎?57Please respect copyright.PENANAo9ySJD4Nn6
57Please respect copyright.PENANALS1cUlRRTY
心中難免有著忐忑不安,敲門進去房間後,只見黎醫生衣裝整齊,雙手搭在桌上,左邊是一疊文件。57Please respect copyright.PENANA1u3Aew6wyu
57Please respect copyright.PENANAOePBM62XLr
見到王芝蘭的身影,黎醫生再次拿出病歷表:「很久不見,你最近的情緒怎樣?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAHKPFGmoOio
57Please respect copyright.PENANALOGZayuYJt
從預備DSE期間患上躁鬱症,直至今年再次確診,一直是黎醫生負責王芝蘭的個案,每一次覆診都會循例問及近況、服用藥物後的狀況、情緒有沒有得到改善。57Please respect copyright.PENANAwL7S5DDiqM
57Please respect copyright.PENANAzuTVB8a2jS
這次問及情緒狀況時,王芝蘭本想故作冷靜,可是每當談及已發生的事,一遍遍回想並親自說出這些難堪,心中仍不免掀起波濤洶湧的委屈,背對醫生掩面而泣,不斷深呼吸冷靜下來,再說出埋藏卻不能表達的憤怒。57Please respect copyright.PENANAfje2CgpnoO
57Please respect copyright.PENANA5DCOm6Vttd
黎醫生予以理解,沒有像外界一般判斷王芝蘭,亦沒有甩任何臉色,只說及釐清問題的根源就可以解決問題。57Please respect copyright.PENANA8Hl2w6QOMX
57Please respect copyright.PENANA8OcikrIsCQ
對於王芝蘭目前狀況,需要先繼續吃藥,若沒法根治要再考慮心理治療。57Please respect copyright.PENANAI5mfgeWawI
57Please respect copyright.PENANAwNeMnXw32A
這些年重複在痛苦中沉淪和掙扎,生活安穩時看似能將一切視為雲淡風輕,實則上隱形的傷口卻不時再次被撕裂滲血,成長大概就是不斷將自己狠狠撕裂再重新拼湊的過程,唯有嘗過死的苦,方能珍惜生的甜。57Please respect copyright.PENANA6x1XWXuxjX
57Please respect copyright.PENANAgMQl1ES0v6
父母並不怎麼關心和理解自己的時候,或許希望得到來自外界的寬慰,其實醫生也只是把治病視為職責,並不十分真正了解患者的人生遭遇,予以醫治靈魂的關心。王芝蘭終於明白到,最重要的不是被他人所理解,而是誠實面對自己的心,願意表達心底最深處最壓抑的感受。57Please respect copyright.PENANA3IiWZgcnFD
57Please respect copyright.PENANADtYGBRC3Cj
離開醫院時,有種莫名的衝動在心裡浮現,很想重新整理生命裡發生過的一切,不論是快樂的或是痛苦的,這些事情塑造了現在的我,只有坦誠面對才能消除對自我和世界的怨恨,重塑全新的自我。57Please respect copyright.PENANAWus2Q5ofNl
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——57Please respect copyright.PENANAicZZrMxt1A
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到家後,王父和王母各自忙碌,一個在房間裡整理文件,一個處理食材預備煮晚餐。他們難得為了自己而平靜下來,這樣挺好的,起碼不再為雞毛蒜皮的事爭吵個喋喋不休。57Please respect copyright.PENANA9mGFWMw0OW
57Please respect copyright.PENANAy7qBQTbWaO
看著母親疲憊的模樣,王芝蘭腦海裡忽然浮現了目睹她和父親爭吵的場景,每次都為了自己的前途爭論。對了,她本來擁有碩士學位的高學歷,結婚生孩子後只可以屈就小小蝸居做家庭主婦,所以拿出整付副心血將自己培養成才。57Please respect copyright.PENANAtzisI4njc7
57Please respect copyright.PENANA3ro4M49Xha
是的,父母為了養育孩子成人,讓他們有傑出的成就和前途付出不少心血,甚至對子女的期望就是讓他們達成自身沒有完成的夢想,王芝蘭接受了這個現實,又似是看透這些世間的無奈再也無力責備。57Please respect copyright.PENANAlZNAZLjLBn
57Please respect copyright.PENANA5VFsXpZfer
不久後王母烹煮好晚餐,三人盛飯後各自專心進食,看著電視機播放的新聞透視,平日的王芝蘭總是率先飽餐後放下飯碗回房間休息,這次竟然放慢了進食速度。57Please respect copyright.PENANAbvrBwDAYz6
57Please respect copyright.PENANA55nRaxwRVB
完食後,王芝蘭說道:「爸、媽,辛苦你們抽空時間陪我覆診。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAOsp368lW4v
57Please respect copyright.PENANAvGbhW1OUR8
王父和王母面面相覷,對於女兒難得和他們這樣說而驚訝,王父問道:「不辛苦,醫生說什麼了」57Please respect copyright.PENANAAVYSYCUr6U
57Please respect copyright.PENANA1QgAYLodsb
「只是聽我的狀況後,叫我繼續定時服藥。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAgYm9nv3cjI
57Please respect copyright.PENANAjhxsXSyF6R
王母:「這醫生會不會不夠專業,你想轉醫生嗎?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAaHZmCrpHkk
57Please respect copyright.PENANAv9hz9Q2fCJ
「不用了,有時候靠人不如靠自己。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA0tUUZtOxRN
57Please respect copyright.PENANAakH5Luy4Is
王芝蘭也沒料到一時情急竟把心底話說出口,再補充說:「在我患病的時間,看著你們一直照顧我,很感謝你們,我會努力面對接下來的事,過好將來的生活,希望你們可以安心。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAyzZciO7o34
57Please respect copyright.PENANALqFeF76Dn6
王母見狀也就點了點頭:「你開心就好。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAFDeTVDqJ2M
57Please respect copyright.PENANAQL3hF6NvmH
王父拍了拍王芝蘭的肩膀,收拾桌子後洗碗去。57Please respect copyright.PENANAJNBqk2TLl0
57Please respect copyright.PENANAtup4OlZNDJ
王芝蘭回到房間,真是難得地可以和父母和平溝通,不禁鬆了一口氣。57Please respect copyright.PENANAxdISThBDkB
57Please respect copyright.PENANAOK3Bx75Bq3
坐在電腦桌前,拿出螢幕有些許裂痕的手機,想著看來是時候要換新的螢幕貼,按號後撥通電話:「鄧律師,我想和你商量一件事。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA6yq9RIaVf5
57Please respect copyright.PENANAcc5V8qzQGg
57Please respect copyright.PENANA5zyaJX4CYh