澄澈的白光透進窗簾,王芝蘭伸手放在頭髮上,緩緩張開眼,只見王父和王母坐到身側,王父拍了拍坐得太久而酸軟的腰骨,看見的女兒甦醒急不及待走出門外叫喊護士,王母叫停:「按聆叫醫生就可以了!快看她現在怎樣」。31Please respect copyright.PENANASIGN8ohUUj
31Please respect copyright.PENANAjO1uNvwi6U
王芝蘭摸著肚子,傳來饑腸轆轆的咕咕聲,飢餓得全身乏力,王母見狀便走到座椅的放置的袋中翻找,隨後遞上一盒飯,王芝蘭什麼都沒說,看見食物就逼不及待進食。31Please respect copyright.PENANA6JMS8KO5yE
31Please respect copyright.PENANAw6PW8NH0ot
王父回到病房坐到椅子上,拿起水擰開瓶蓋喝水恢復神智,王母埋頭他耳邊輕語商量一些事,只待王芝蘭完食後他們才開口說話。31Please respect copyright.PENANAfACR37Gxna
31Please respect copyright.PENANAwGbjbVRr0z
王父:「你在路邊淋雨昏迷倒地,報紙檔老闆聽到聲音發現你,幫你call白車。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAmoxDdlDDzF
31Please respect copyright.PENANApWhNJ3vqku
王芝蘭神智還是有些許迷糊,只記得看到雜誌後精神受到巨大衝擊,身體承受不住就眼前一眼睡去,未回應什麼,王母也開聲說道:「你不舒服就休息幾日別上學,我們不逼你。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAwi6WKjHEFQ
31Please respect copyright.PENANA25zoYucfk8
王芝蘭眨了眨眼,低頭看向床榻:「我現在什麼地方都不應該去。」 31Please respect copyright.PENANAoeTuzdDeOw
31Please respect copyright.PENANAok9k3HoWta
話畢,醫生轉即走進病房,對幾人打招呼,幫王芝蘭做些簡單檢查,再說明當時她被送進醫院的情況,昏迷指數13屬於輕微腦震盪,需要留院觀察三天。31Please respect copyright.PENANAWmZ5cda5Fe
31Please respect copyright.PENANAcsF1yeewfx
王父招待醫生離開病房,王母的右手放到王芝蘭額頭量體溫,微涼的溫度傳到手指,說道:「沒發燒。」31Please respect copyright.PENANARcI6d4YliS
31Please respect copyright.PENANAykFyKyykuI
王父回來後說道:「那日沒陪你上庭,只是不想你有更大的壓力。」31Please respect copyright.PENANA9f5YKCDjIh
31Please respect copyright.PENANAXnVzQnq1Nh
王芝蘭眼神只有平靜:「你們陪不陪我,所有人都覺得錯的是我。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAlMPayx1coJ
31Please respect copyright.PENANAVVm0gtkEVP
王母:「那就由他們說去吧!最重要的是法官怎麼判。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAWt8PvxtkSs
31Please respect copyright.PENANAH7q9ku689K
王父看了眼手錶,轉即問道:「你什麼時候覆診,這次我們陪你去。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAupzrXnF4vt
31Please respect copyright.PENANA0fLdBqGhpz
王芝蘭對於突如其來的關心,雖然感到不可思議,心裡還有些彆扭地反覆拉扯著,可目前的情形別無他法拒絕,只能答應他們。31Please respect copyright.PENANAtlAS5kBf3Z
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「下星期三」31Please respect copyright.PENANAjHjyj8FNhy
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「還有,媒體報導干擾案件進行,對我造成輿論壓力,能不能控告。」31Please respect copyright.PENANA6kAce1Uel5
31Please respect copyright.PENANAzPMQv2muh2
王芝蘭心中掙扎一番,終於鼓起勇氣說出最著緊的事情,願意和父母坦誠說出這個想法,王父和王母亦願意正視這件事,一家人商量對策,力求最合理的解決方法。31Please respect copyright.PENANAYLzVY14kWf
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——31Please respect copyright.PENANAbSLcxPBQHz
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常康醫院精神科31Please respect copyright.PENANAAycnDof40q
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王芝蘭在父母陪同下走進精神科門診,等待期間,王母感嘆兩年前女兒確診躁鬱症的時候,不斷覆診和吃精神科藥物,現在又來到這熟悉的地方,王父則走動觀看牆上關於精神健康的海報和宣傳冊。31Please respect copyright.PENANAZfaYkLsJMa
31Please respect copyright.PENANAGXrGsCp60u
躁鬱症,又稱雙相情感障礙,躁狂和抑鬱同時出現的心理障礙,躁期發作的表現為情緒高漲、精力旺盛,鬱期發作的表現為情緒低落、失去動力,病患會經歷嚴重情緒波動,維持至少數週或數月。分為四類型,分別是雙相情感障礙一型、雙相情感障礙二型、急速循環、循環性情緒病。每一百個人之中,有一個人會患上此病,發病年齡多數於青年時期或之後。31Please respect copyright.PENANAdEw3Jwe3gx
31Please respect copyright.PENANAtHUriz1IW6
處方藥物主要為鋰劑,作為情緒穩定劑,需要服用三個月或以上才能發揮作用,患者亦有機會服用多種藥物進行治療。31Please respect copyright.PENANAWQ8pRadMXO
31Please respect copyright.PENANAi4v799xtR6
家人及朋友可以做的事,就是嘗試耐心理解患者。31Please respect copyright.PENANAMeEaZERpYF
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「王芝蘭」31Please respect copyright.PENANAkFuyjw0ujh
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聽聞護士叫號後,王芝蘭離開走廊椅子走進房間,王父回到椅子坐下等待。31Please respect copyright.PENANA6y4ZwIp1Dk
31Please respect copyright.PENANAnDUNyaKwAv
經過一個月再來覆診,醫生也許知道這陣子她所經歷的事,難道還要一遍又一遍覆述嗎?31Please respect copyright.PENANA9B4xojv0QU
31Please respect copyright.PENANAgllo2yYpPK
心中難免有著忐忑不安,敲門進去房間後,只見黎醫生衣裝整齊,雙手搭在桌上,左邊是一疊文件。31Please respect copyright.PENANAWbQKuQWrBe
31Please respect copyright.PENANAweGDr41YND
見到王芝蘭的身影,黎醫生再次拿出病歷表:「很久不見,你最近的情緒怎樣?」31Please respect copyright.PENANAg1neZBf2jX
31Please respect copyright.PENANA21OnRSEyLK
從預備DSE期間患上躁鬱症,直至今年再次確診,一直是黎醫生負責王芝蘭的個案,每一次覆診都會循例問及近況、服用藥物後的狀況、情緒有沒有得到改善。31Please respect copyright.PENANAYBvFpDtBXi
31Please respect copyright.PENANAWNaHgI3axs
這次問及情緒狀況時,王芝蘭本想故作冷靜,可是每當談及已發生的事,一遍遍回想並親自說出這些難堪,心中仍不免掀起波濤洶湧的委屈,背對醫生掩面而泣,不斷深呼吸冷靜下來,再說出埋藏卻不能表達的憤怒。31Please respect copyright.PENANAoFJu2JeeE6
31Please respect copyright.PENANAyc52wIsfY6
黎醫生予以理解,沒有像外界一般判斷王芝蘭,亦沒有甩任何臉色,只說及釐清問題的根源就可以解決問題。31Please respect copyright.PENANAg8yjpKkNAx
31Please respect copyright.PENANAlYVEVveQs3
對於王芝蘭目前狀況,需要先繼續吃藥,若沒法根治要再考慮心理治療。31Please respect copyright.PENANALdvoPaVuF4
31Please respect copyright.PENANAqvwtOJBGX8
這些年重複在痛苦中沉淪和掙扎,生活安穩時看似能將一切視為雲淡風輕,實則上隱形的傷口卻不時再次被撕裂滲血,成長大概就是不斷將自己狠狠撕裂再重新拼湊的過程,唯有嘗過死的苦,方能珍惜生的甜。31Please respect copyright.PENANAHht3Wc3cOu
31Please respect copyright.PENANAMMuJjuGAjy
父母並不怎麼關心和理解自己的時候,或許希望得到來自外界的寬慰,其實醫生也只是把治病視為職責,並不十分真正了解患者的人生遭遇,予以醫治靈魂的關心。王芝蘭終於明白到,最重要的不是被他人所理解,而是誠實面對自己的心,願意表達心底最深處最壓抑的感受。31Please respect copyright.PENANA7WOAUWmUtu
31Please respect copyright.PENANAlbF1EoMwf3
離開醫院時,有種莫名的衝動在心裡浮現,很想重新整理生命裡發生過的一切,不論是快樂的或是痛苦的,這些事情塑造了現在的我,只有坦誠面對才能消除對自我和世界的怨恨,重塑全新的自我。31Please respect copyright.PENANAOnUiHUAjGn
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——31Please respect copyright.PENANAT2eNF9N9Le
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到家後,王父和王母各自忙碌,一個在房間裡整理文件,一個處理食材預備煮晚餐。他們難得為了自己而平靜下來,這樣挺好的,起碼不再為雞毛蒜皮的事爭吵個喋喋不休。31Please respect copyright.PENANAHv7b8CSbe8
31Please respect copyright.PENANAwRagmOeuzW
看著母親疲憊的模樣,王芝蘭腦海裡忽然浮現了目睹她和父親爭吵的場景,每次都為了自己的前途爭論。對了,她本來擁有碩士學位的高學歷,結婚生孩子後只可以屈就小小蝸居做家庭主婦,所以拿出整付副心血將自己培養成才。31Please respect copyright.PENANAz8SajWUDzO
31Please respect copyright.PENANAWpwfFmjOf4
是的,父母為了養育孩子成人,讓他們有傑出的成就和前途付出不少心血,甚至對子女的期望就是讓他們達成自身沒有完成的夢想,王芝蘭接受了這個現實,又似是看透這些世間的無奈再也無力責備。31Please respect copyright.PENANA12yO8kCH99
31Please respect copyright.PENANAIC86PmTaVp
不久後王母烹煮好晚餐,三人盛飯後各自專心進食,看著電視機播放的新聞透視,平日的王芝蘭總是率先飽餐後放下飯碗回房間休息,這次竟然放慢了進食速度。31Please respect copyright.PENANAmUcnHT7L5n
31Please respect copyright.PENANANd29hy82Xe
完食後,王芝蘭說道:「爸、媽,辛苦你們抽空時間陪我覆診。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAOJ4hke5uLG
31Please respect copyright.PENANAwemPfrhUX8
王父和王母面面相覷,對於女兒難得和他們這樣說而驚訝,王父問道:「不辛苦,醫生說什麼了」31Please respect copyright.PENANAbt0jwLmh2N
31Please respect copyright.PENANA9GF4PdDe3i
「只是聽我的狀況後,叫我繼續定時服藥。」31Please respect copyright.PENANA92ZBRu6agQ
31Please respect copyright.PENANAUKKxLuXaUn
王母:「這醫生會不會不夠專業,你想轉醫生嗎?」31Please respect copyright.PENANAoZ5lPhpXSU
31Please respect copyright.PENANAGkWh39DNAc
「不用了,有時候靠人不如靠自己。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAkrlxD5BFgy
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王芝蘭也沒料到一時情急竟把心底話說出口,再補充說:「在我患病的時間,看著你們一直照顧我,很感謝你們,我會努力面對接下來的事,過好將來的生活,希望你們可以安心。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAmXILDXnFPo
31Please respect copyright.PENANAqvhW85NJwx
王母見狀也就點了點頭:「你開心就好。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAHjFtDfDNS0
31Please respect copyright.PENANAtyxCzfnU2Q
王父拍了拍王芝蘭的肩膀,收拾桌子後洗碗去。31Please respect copyright.PENANA8JiV1OxYnH
31Please respect copyright.PENANABw6AFC50Tb
王芝蘭回到房間,真是難得地可以和父母和平溝通,不禁鬆了一口氣。31Please respect copyright.PENANA4HnRXZ5z96
31Please respect copyright.PENANA2Jgl0D3Uob
坐在電腦桌前,拿出螢幕有些許裂痕的手機,想著看來是時候要換新的螢幕貼,按號後撥通電話:「鄧律師,我想和你商量一件事。」31Please respect copyright.PENANAJzKvgRyl09
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31Please respect copyright.PENANAds2xgu9utw