“As I said in whatsapp we will look at the 1:50 model today, didn’t I?” 34Please respect copyright.PENANAgfntuJvMCN
她捂着下巴,一臉疑惑地望着我。我輕輕地點了點頭,因着長期固定在電腦螢幕,僵硬的脖子發出格格響聲。34Please respect copyright.PENANA7fikQGEP5b
已經有一個星期沒有好好睡過覺了。昨晚夢見高中英文派卷,老師把試卷的分數朝下放在我桌上,要彷彿暗示着成績不堪入目,我畏怯地翻牌。滿分170分,我僅得34分。我從來沒有得過如此低分。我不知道夢裏這些數字到來說有什麼意義,但那真實的羞恥感侵蝕着我的意志,我驚慌地扎醒,揭開手機,才早上九時半,我只像睡了五個小時。34Please respect copyright.PENANAX3Dc4lgFfa
為什麼我淪落至此?我嘗試重新入睡,羞恥感就像那張薄被爬上來,覆蓋了我半身。34Please respect copyright.PENANAyocDYspzPj
“The idea for final review is to get everyone have their own installations and present, yea? And the 1:50 is an important illustration of the concept for your design, doesn’t need to be perfect, doesn’t need to be finalised, but to get the critics know your idea.”34Please respect copyright.PENANAYd4JTpkBtD
説罷,她又捂着下巴,眼鏡雖然微微俯察,眼神卻高高在上地凝視着我。34Please respect copyright.PENANAb7yQUrSkHv
我要説些甚麼嗎?34Please respect copyright.PENANAzscowxP4by
不如跟她説,我根本聽不明白她想我怎樣,我也不知道她清不清楚自己要甚麼,究竟她有想過怎樣嗎?我凝視着她那對不解的眸子,她説是以人為本,但當一個地方根本用不着建築來改善,我的死搬硬套豈不是違反「以人為本」?這件事我想了兩晚,腦筋都脹起來。除了無力、羞辱,我有股衝動報復她。如果是肢解,我就可以看出她有沒有腦袋和良心,還是只有那把捂着偽善的嘴。34Please respect copyright.PENANAqdAj06OP59
“To be honest, I am not sure where I am heading.” 我坦言。34Please respect copyright.PENANARMYOTOncR1
她的下巴垂得更低,眼睛瞇得更細,只以一條狹縫看我,和所有事物。34Please respect copyright.PENANAErzuAyOU2R
她那張難以置信的臉孔很令我反胃。34Please respect copyright.PENANAIxKpivd8cN
“I don’t see the point of rushing into the 1:50 model without exploring the forms. You see, 1:50 is quite big and time-consuming to do. I cannot do iterations with 1:50.”34Please respect copyright.PENANA8kKwJl9UQJ
“Why can’t you?”34Please respect copyright.PENANA7hNLG3vlPd
她的下巴已經貼緊着脖子,那對眼睛緊閉得如若我理智的虛線。簡直係人渣。34Please respect copyright.PENANAZu0sDL8jUG
“Haven’t we explored it in phase 2?” 她又問。34Please respect copyright.PENANAuYz69TCmKj
“No. There are only abstract concepts assembled into a device. Speak for myself, I haven’t made any form-related decisions yet.”34Please respect copyright.PENANAhT600dxaOS
“Yea, isn’t that your job?”34Please respect copyright.PENANAw5d0csZMIz
My job?根本她沒指示過,也沒有人做。34Please respect copyright.PENANAaEGgLufNeh
我深吸一口氣,氣管裹是灼熱的。34Please respect copyright.PENANAtir50CeJwD
”Is a shame…”34Please respect copyright.PENANAMT5dhzeHpM
屌你老母!34Please respect copyright.PENANAfD8UcfgCCz
我暴怒,抽臂大摑,響亮中矢啪的一聲,她鼻樑上的眼鏡飛出撞上白牆,散碎一地。她正想喝止,我五指已經按在她的後勺,朝着桌子的黑色鋼邊猛力拍下,嘭!本來連在一起的鐵桌頓時震散。34Please respect copyright.PENANA7QogczW0UK
My job 定 your job啊你老母!34Please respect copyright.PENANAf3N6D419gY
她四肢似是電擊的抽搐了一下,也來不及呼吸,我扭抓她的髮髻——屌你老母!抽上,俯撞!屌你老母!My job?抽上,俯撞!白色的案頭噴灑着她的鼻血,一抹弧形猶如水墨畫般艷麗。站在一旁的同學目瞪口呆地愣在原地,有些人捂住眼睛,但沒有手蓋上耳朵,聽着我發狂地屌人老母。34Please respect copyright.PENANAdVYhwntcc8
沒有人上前阻止我,當然沒有。大家都在瀕臨崩潰的邊緣遊走,恨不得自殺,也恨不得謀殺。我不是這裏惟一一個想過發洩的,而是第一個敢發洩的。我們在四面白牆中過得太壓抑,眼裏只剩下紅和黑。34Please respect copyright.PENANAW5dHMG7iJV
嘭!嘭!嘭!嘭!我意猶未盡地隨手抄起一旁的黑色椅子,高舉擲下,笨重鐵椅地重重擊碎她脊椎,她發出微弱的叫聲。恐怕這是她餘生植物人的最後一句說話,這也好,再也不是那些虛無飄渺、撲朔迷離的指引。我甩去爛掉的鐵椅,她應聲倒地。
她黑色的純恤衫滲出血印,她的髮絲斷碎在我掌上。我不敢細看她的臉龐,哪怕只是督一眼,那皮開肉綻、血肉模糊的臉龐,恐怕會駁回我的理智。34Please respect copyright.PENANAW64oNMJ46Y
她匍匐地爬走。氣若游絲地叫着救命,我眼角見到一個矮小的女孩跑去門口,我掠過噴漆,大步流星地扯停女孩,她錯愕回頭望我,眼淚滲透着恐懼,這是一雙天真的眼睛,但十分討厭。噴罐對準她的雙眼,我輕按噴嘴,嗤——黑色的霧氣腐蝕着眼角膜,惡臭的氣體溢散四周。她一邊吶喊,一邊在地上翻滾。34Please respect copyright.PENANA2S26Vko8qy
我回頭望去在地上爬行的蚯蚓,血泊圈起了她的位置。她沒再叫嚎,指頭在地上輕輕地抽搐。34Please respect copyright.PENANArdYpT6WUKB
白牆、赤紅、女人。原本只有垃圾的地面竟然攤卧着一個花甲之年的胖女人,那強烈鮮艷的構圖非常適合剪貼成一種collage。可惜,她沒分咐我做,亦not my fucking job。我鬆了一口氣,撥走指縫上的長髮,抹走指漬,丟去噴罐,冉然離去。34Please respect copyright.PENANADZ3tiT7I27
Amazing, lovely, great, my ass.34Please respect copyright.PENANAubmHJ2SRW0
34Please respect copyright.PENANAag52gzYCMW
(故事人物純屬虛構,如有雷同,實屬巧合)
ns 15.158.61.8da2