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You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning each day, and you feel a heavy weight on your shoulders? And that feeling when you look in the mirror and you start to cry? How about those times when you lay in bed at night -- tired from the day's activities and you start to have these thoughts in your head telling you that you're not good enough, you'll never reach your goals and that you should just give up and then you start crying yourself to sleep? Well, I've experienced those too. I've been made fun of back in high school, I was "the outcast" in my class. No, my classmates never told me I was such, but I just felt like it. Whenever group activities were announced all I could feel was anxiety. I knew no one would pick me as their group mate so there would be times I would just volunteer to do solo work and I was perfectly okay with that. There came a time I didn't feel anxious at all anymore because I was used to it. I was used to them not wanting to team up with me, or be my companion when I was alone that I just became emotionless about it. And you know, when I go back home from school everyday, I take off my mask and just let the tears flow out of my eyes, as if trying to make me feel better. Every night during high school, I always found myself crying before I sleep. I always felt hopeless and worthless, I kept asking myself "What the heck is wrong with me? Why won't they want to be around me? Am I ugly? Am I stupid? Am I too weird for them?" And it wasn't until after high school that I realized the possible reason: I was too quiet in class. I never really socialized much with them. It's perfectly normal that they'd leave me out, as soon as I realized it. But you see, I wasn't always like that. In fact, I'm not like that at all. When I'm with my family, I'm always the loud one, making the jokes and all that. But whenever it comes to my classmates in high school, I automatically turn on quiet mode. It's like a habit of some sorts that I just can't control. I never understood why until I realized...I was being insecure. Most of my classmates are so talented! They could sing, dance, draw...and what was I good at? Being alone. Looking back and comparing myself then to now, though. I'm more of myself now and I'm sad my High School classmates couldn't see me now yet. To be honest, I don't really want to meet up with them just yet. I want to keep growing and live life before I start facing them again. But how did I do it? How did I overcome my quietness and insecurity from classmates in general? Well, easy! I just stopped caring too much about what people think about me! I carried on being who I am, that jolly, weird, crazy self and let myself grow out of it. It was hard at first, but I just did to seek God all the time and everything else fell to place. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with a lot of things, and that's okay! It's normal. We all have our ups and downs in life and it's okay to be sad sometimes but know this: You are not alone. You may think it's the end of the world right now but it isn't. I know, I know. It's easier said than done but trust me when I say, you are worth it. You are worth more than diamonds, you are worth more than your mistakes. You are worth it. Now, you may be going through something really hard at the moment -- probably a fight with a best friend, financial needs, academic stress, etc. but I want you to know you don't need to face the battle alone. Ask God or whoever you believe in for advice. Do something that makes you happy. Get out of your bed and be active. It may seem like things are too much for you right now and it may be hard for you to even look at the bright side, but please try. You are amazing and if there's one thing I want you to know, it's that you are strong. Even if you don't recognize it, you are strong. There's so much to be thankful for and I know you're feeling hurt about everything but know that you can get through this. Believe in yourself a little bit more and I promise you, things will get better. So chin up! Put a smile on your face and never ever give up on your dreams. You are good enough. Everything's going to be okay.8964 copyright protection535ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx5zK1pqLQ 維尼

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