Jesse “The Glitch” Lancaster – (Human, Aura amplified by a freak accident involving a sentient toaster oven and a vat of radioactive chili) – bounced off a Grimm, leaving a scorch mark shaped suspiciously like a thumbs-up. "Whoa, dude! That's gotta hurt, right? Unless...it's a Grimm? They don't exactly have…feeling, do they? Writers! Get on that! Seriously, it's been bothering me all episode. Anyway, back to the action!" He winked directly at the reader, or perhaps at some unseen cameraman, before launching himself across the battlefield with a yell. His weapon of choice? Two ridiculously oversized banana-shaped nunchaku that somehow managed to pack a serious punch. He was facing off against a pack of Beringel, a particularly nasty breed of Grimm that resembled giant, furry, and incredibly irritable hedgehogs. Meanwhile, his partner, Ruby Rose – (Human, Huntsman-in-training, wielder of Crescent Rose) – watched with a mixture of exasperation and bemusement. “Jesse,” she sighed, hefting Crescent Rose, "focus!"12Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtm1DvJaP1
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The Beringel charged, their quills bristling with menace. Jesse, however, seemed more interested in the quality of the dirt he was about to land in. "Ooh, nice loam! Perfect for gardening…if I wasn't, you know, currently trying not to get impaled by a giant, angry porcupine. The irony! Did I mention I'm breaking the fourth wall? Because I am. Again. And again. And…" He trailed off, suddenly noticing a Beringel hurtling toward him at high speed. With a dramatic flourish (and a surprised squawk), he dodged the attack, then proceeded to accidentally trip a nearby Grimm, causing a comical domino effect that took out half the pack. "Oops! My bad. Plot armor, am I right?" he quipped, dusting himself off. A nearby tree suddenly sprouted a sign that read: "Jesse's Unintentional Collateral Damage." Ruby just facepalmed, muttering about the unpredictability of their current mission, and wishing she'd brought earplugs.12Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJytkVqQWV6
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The battle concluded with Jesse somehow summoning a flock of pigeons (from where, no one knew) to peck the remaining Beringel into submission. As they fled, leaving a trail of feathers and bewildered Grimm, Jesse struck a heroic pose…that promptly collapsed into a dramatic heap as he sprained his ankle. "And that," he announced, wincing, "is how I saved the day…sort of. Also, I think I owe those pigeons some birdseed. And maybe a raise? Hey, writers, you listening?" He gave another wink towards the unseen audience. Ruby, meanwhile, was already writing a detailed incident report, knowing this would be another one for the "Jesse's Absurd Adventures" file. The report, she decided, would absolutely need more detail on the sentient toaster oven.12Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGI9lJYFxh
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