I place my bag on the seat beside mine. My hands wrap around the soda bottle and the cold glass cools my hands. Damn, it's hot today. The cafeteria is noisy, too noisy, considering only about a dozen students are in the large hall. How can they be so...happy? It annoys me. Everyone is seated with at least two more people at their tables. I'm the only one alone. Well, I'm not alone, I have my soda bottle, right? That's good company, I think. In this case, it is. I may sound lonely, but I'm not. I just have a strong distaste for frivolous interactions even if that means sitting alone after class. I don't like people and avoid them as much as I can. It's not that I don't know how to make friends, I do, there are just not any good "candidates" for that position. Why am I explaining myself? Stop! I'm not lonely!
.
.
.
Am I? I look around the cafeteria. Three girls are seated around a table while another is leaning on one side talking to them. The three stare at the girl standing as if she's some kind of alien thing. Alien thing? More like a god. She seems to be explaining something important cause the whole table is focused intently. She pauses and smiles cheekily. The drama! The rest sit up in anticipation. Whatever she says next must have been electric cause her seated persons all shoot up and envelop her in a group hug. I imagine she must have won something or finally got the boy of her dreams. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. The hug looks warm and my hands are cold. On another table, four boys are playing a card game. They argue about the rules as one places an "invalid" card, attracting attention. Their other classmates? friends? are drawn to the table like moths and soon there is a large group watching the card game. I know the rules of a lot of card games. I would definitely know how to play theirs too. I tear my eyes away from the eclipse and look at the server at the food stall. Clearly bored and exhausted, he absentmindedly stirs the chicken soup. At least I'm not as lonely as him. Lonely? I meant alone. There's a difference!
I sip my friend slowly. Time stops for just a moment. A long profound moment. Enough to make me think of my silent phone, my empty call log and my non-existent social life. The sugar in the soda vanishes. It feels like nothingness as it flows down my throat. I choke, stupidly. A couple of people sitting at the table to the right look at me but keep their distance. Probably because of the unfamiliarity between us. I start to tear up while I finally catch my breath. This isn't fun anymore. I don't want to look at everyone else anymore. I don't want the soda anymore. I don't want to be in this cafeteria anymore. It hurts.
The half-drunk soda remains on the rectangular table, it's only company lost. It looks calm or maybe it's in denial of how sad its existence is. To be left alone, half-used, unfinished. Maybe it longs for someone to finally give it attention. Maybe it will be happy then. Maybe. But it's calm. Calm. Calm. Lonely.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
