Onyx
Today Rowan and I are going to visit my grandpa who lives in a large city up in the mountains called Misest which means the misty city of the forest.
“Hurry up, we need to get going!” My dad yells up the stairs.
”Coming.” I yell back down. My dad doesn’t like being in Misest because that’s where our mom took her life shortly after Rowan and I turned four.
”Be down in a sec.” Rowan yells down to our dad.
Dad tells me I look like her with my round face and blue gray eyes but I think Rowan looks more like her. He also acts more like her than I do. Her face had high cheekbones and bright blue eyes and we both inherited her and dad’s black hair. Mom was kind, funny, trusting, and she was so smart. That’s the opposite of me. I’m wary, cautious, and untrusting. The only thing we have in common is our smarts. But, Rowan he’s open, friendly, and trusting. He’s also really smart.
I miss her sometimes and I can’t even remember her. Except for the one memory that I can’t seem to forget, the day I found her body floating in the creek. Suddenly I’m four again walking to the creek by Grampy’s house. Rowan had stayed at the house watching cartoons. I’m sitting at the creek when I spot a white sundress floating in the river. Suddenly I recognize my mother’s black hair drifting around her. I jump into the river and try to pull her out. Suddenly I’m underwater and I can’t breathe. I’m screaming for help but no one can hear me. Suddenly I’m pulled out of the water by strong arms. Someone is hugging me, comforting me, kissing the top of my head. When I wake up I’m soaked and my mother’s body is lying next to me unmoving. I sob while I hug her begging for her to come back. When my grandpa comes looking for me I’m a shell of my warm, happy, and outgoing self. Ever since that day I’ve been distant, cold, and someone people would say cruel. They’re right in a way. The only people I truly care about, the only people I let myself care about are Rowan, my dad, and grandpa.
“Hey you done yet?” Rowan asks from my doorway, breaking me out of the memory. I hurriedly swipe the tears from my eyes and turn to face him.
“Yeah I’m done.” I reply shakily. He walks in and hugs me tightly.
“I miss her too, you know.” Sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind but when I do I rationalize that we’re going to the place where she took her life and we’re going to see her dad. Everything about that place screams mom.
“I know you do.” I say zipping up my suitcase.
“Get down here now! I know you both are done packing.” Dad yells up to us.
“Let’s go before he actually gets mad at us.” I say to Rowan.
“I agree.”
In the car it’s my turn to pick the music. I sync my phone to the car and shuffle my favorite playlist and “Hate you” by Sean Bowe plays.
“Come on do we have to play the depressing ones?” Rowan whines next to me.
“They aren’t all depressing.” I argue back, “Plus it’s my turn to pick the music so yes we do.”
“Fine.” Rowan relents pouting and trying not to smile.
“It’s Rowan’s turn to pick the music now.” Dad calls back to us from the front. Of course Rowan picks his upbeat playlist and “Kamikaze” by MISSIO starts playing. When he fell asleep I talked dad into letting me play the music again and “Why can’t you hate me?” By MUNN starts playing. When Rowan finally wakes up we’re at grandpa’s house.
“How are my grandchildren?” Grandpa holers.
“Hey grandpa!” Rowan and I yell at the same time.
“Hey dad.” Our dad says walking up to grandpa and giving him a hug.
Later that night I plug my headphones into my IPod and turn it on. The song that starts playing is “This is such a mess it’s not worth faking” by Dylan Emmet. Whenever I’m here I’m only able to sleep for an hour or three. As I softly hum along, careful not to wake anyone, I think about what would happen if I slipped away. Would they notice in time to stop me? Would they even care? Just then Rowan walks into my room and says “I know what you’re thinking. I’ll miss you. Please don’t go.”
“But…how?” I stammered. How could he know?
“I’m your twin, it’s my job to know.” He says nudging my shoulder. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I tell him smiling.
“I know you do.” He says standing up and kissing the top of my head then he turns around and walks away. I’m so sleepy that my brain didn’t even register that Rowan never kisses the top of my head, and that it’s only ever happened once before in my entire life that I can remember. The day my mom died. It also couldn’t register that I could hear Rowan’s deep breaths in the room next to mine through the entire conversation. As I’m drifting off a small part of me thinks that it was a weird interaction but it’s quickly drowned out by the dream that surfaces.
The monsters are closing in but the most vivid one has skin like bark or rough pebbles, his eyes such a dark gray it was almost black, hair jagged and sticking out at odd angles. Then in a flash of light, a soft smile, light blue eyes that were almost white hidden in milk chocolate skin, and hair such a rich shade of brown it was golden when the light hit just right. Suddenly I’m cocooned in a warm embrace. The monsters fade to nothing. The paralyzing fear that had gripped me two seconds ago was now replaced by a feeling of safety and contentment. “I have to leave you now.” My savior tells me his voice is rich and very gentle.
“You can’t leave! What about the monsters?” I ask and plead with him.
“They can’t get to you in here. I have taken you to a quiet part of your mind.” He reassures me. When he senses that I have calmed down he’s gone leaving me in a dreamless sleep.
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