*Sam's POV*
Monday. Another school week, but I already feel exhausted, and it's only the beginning of the week. I sighed, adjusting the straps of my bag as I approached the school gate. I barely had the energy to get through the day, but as I approached the school gate, I spotted Josh standing there, looking as if he was waiting for someone.
Oh great.
I groaned internally. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Josh's endless chatter today. I liked the guy, platonically of course, but sometimes, he was just too much. One conversation with him sometimes felt like running a marathon. I bowed my head and walked faster, hoping to slip past unnoticed.
But of course, luck wasn't on my side.
"Sam!" Josh's voice rang out, too loud and too excited for a Monday morning. "Hey, wait up!"
I stopped, plastered a polite smile on my face, and greeted him. "Hey, Josh."
"Took you long enough. I was waiting for you," he said, grinning.
I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"No reason," he shrugged, falling into step beside me. "Just thought I'd walk with you. So, get this... I actually managed to study last night! I feel so accomplished."
"Good for you," I mumbled, barely listening.
We entered the school building, and as if on cue, Josh launched into a monologue—something about law school, a funny meme he saw, some random pun about food, and whatever else was on his imaginative brain.
But my mind was elsewhere. I could feel Nate's presence before I even saw him. It was like an unspoken awareness that I couldn't ignore no matter how much I wanted to.
As we passed by him, I kept my expression neutral, determined to walk past him as if he was nothing more than another student in the hallway, my eyes straight ahead. Just like I had done for months now. He doesn't exist. He doesn't exist.
And yet, I knew. I knew he was looking at me.
Josh must have noticed too because he smirked mischievously.
"Hmm..." he mused. Before I could question him, he suddenly ruffled my hair.
Then he put his arm around my shoulder.
I jerked back and glared at him. "What the hell?"
Josh then leaned in to me.... too close, I might add. "Smile," he whispered, smirking.
"What?"
"Just do it. Trust me."
Still confused, I gave him a small smile, mostly out of confusion. Josh grinned triumphantly.
He seemed satisfied and leaned back. "Perfect," he said before straightening up and walking like nothing happened.
As we entered the classroom, I turned to him with suspicion. "Okay, what the hell was that about?"
Josh chuckled. "Nothing. Just had to test something."
I narrowed my eyes. "Test what?"
He winked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
I frowned but let it go, heading to my seat to wait for Millie.
After class, Millie and I chatted for a bit before she had to leave early to pick up her sister. As I walked to the exit, Josh appeared beside me again.
"Hey," he said. "Got dinner plans? I know this great place near the beach."
"No." I sighed. "But I'm also not really in the mood to go out."
Josh put a hand on his chest, feigning offense. "Sam, sulking doesn't suit you. Come on, let's get dinner. It'll be fun."
I hesitated, but Josh smirked. "Plus, it'll show a certain someone that you're doing just fine and happily moving forward."
I paused, considering. Did I really care about showing Nate anything? No. Yes. Maybe.
"Fine," I muttered. "But only because I'm hungry."
Josh grinned. "Good choice."
The restaurant was cozy, the kind of place with warm lighting and wooden tables that made you feel comfortable.
Josh and I ordered our food and fell into an easy conversation, the weight in my chest finally starting to ease. We just chatted casually as we waited for our food.
And then the door opened, and I heard familiar voices.
I didn't even have to turn my head to know who had walked in.
Nate. Along with Austin and Caleb.
Josh glanced toward the entrance, then smirked. "Well, well. This just got interesting."
I immediately focused on my plate, determined not to acknowledge Nate's presence.
I had done well these past few months, keeping my distance, proving to Nate that I was done trying, like he no longer existed, and I wasn't about to break that streak now.
But I could feel his gaze on me and Josh, heavy and piercing.
Josh, of course, saw this and found it too entertaining. "Damn, Sam, if looks could kill, I would be a pile of ash right now. Your ex-friend's stare seems murderous."
I shot him a glare. "Shut up."
Josh chuckled but let it go.
"Excuse me," I mumbled, pushing back my chair. "Restroom."
I headed to the restroom, needing a moment to breathe. Once inside, I took a deep breath and faced the mirror. My reflection stared back, a mixture of frustration and hurt evident in my eyes. I fixed my hair, took another deep breath, then stepped out.
And nearly ran into Nate.
He was standing right outside the restroom door, as if he had been waiting for me.
I froze.
Then I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm.
He looked at me, his voice was low, rough. "What are you doing with Josh Moore?"
I yanked my arm away, eyes flashing. "That's none of your business."
"I don't like him," Nate said through gritted teeth. "Stay away from him."
Anger flared in me. "Are you serious?"
His expression darkened. "I don't trust him. He's not—"
"Oh, and I'm supposed to care about your opinion?" I snapped. "Because last I checked, you told me I didn't matter to you, Nate."
Nate flinched, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. Regret? Guilt? I didn't care. He didn't get to act like this. Not now.
"Samantha, I—" he started, but I cut him off.
"You don't get to do this," I whispered fiercely. "You don't get to push me away, tell me I mean nothing, and then act like this when I try to move on."
He was silent, his grip on his emotions visibly slipping.
I shook my head. "You wanted me to stop trying, right? Congratulations, Nate. I stopped."
"So don't act like you suddenly care now."
I turned and walked away, not waiting for a response.
Josh noticed my expression the moment I sat back down. "You okay?"
I nodded. But I wasn't.
Josh sighed. "Let's finish up and get the hell out of here."
I was grateful for him in that moment. We finished dinner quickly, my hands trembling slightly as I picked up my bag.
As we left the restaurant, I could still feel Nate watching us. The weight of his gaze followed me to the door, to the parking lot, to Josh's car.
Josh opened his car door but didn't start the engine immediately. Instead, he turned to me.
"It's okay. You can cry now."
And just like that, I broke.
Silent sobs shook my shoulders as I stared out the window, my tears blurring the city lights. Josh didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He just drove, letting me cry in peace.
"I'm so stupid," I choked out. "Why do I keep crying over him?"
Josh sighed, keeping his eyes on the road. "You're not stupid, Sam."
"I am," I insisted, wiping my tears angrily. "It's been months. I should be over this by now."
Josh shook his head. "Feelings don't have an expiration date. Just because he hurt you doesn't mean you can turn off your emotions like a switch."
I sniffled. "But it's pathetic."
"It's human," Josh corrected. "And honestly, Sam? You love him. That's not something you can just erase."
I let out a bitter laugh. Love? Is that really the right word?
"Or maybe was I just an idiot who thought I meant something to him, even just a little?" I asked.
Josh sighed. "You're asking the wrong question."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
Josh glanced at me. "Instead of wondering if you meant something to him, ask yourself this... do you still want to be stuck in the past, or do you want to start living for yourself?"
I opened my mouth but hesitated.
Josh continued, "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're giving him too much power over you. And I don't think he deserves that."
I exhaled shakily, absorbing his words.
I let out a deep sigh. "I hate this."
Josh chuckled. "I know."
When Josh pulled up to my house, I wiped the last of my tears.
I turned to him. "Thanks for dinner. And for... you know, everything."
Josh shrugged. "Anytime."
I stepped out and watched as he drove away before heading inside. As I lay on my bed that night, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts were a tangled mess.
Nate.
Why did he have to go and confuse me again? Why now, after all this time of me trying so hard to forget him?
And why, despite everything, did a part of me still hope?
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