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Maddox trotted along the sidewalk toward the trailer park. Her feet stopped outside Girty Meadows' shabby house. A new thought rose in her tormented mind. She steeled her nerves and approached the front door. She drew in her breath, her heart pounding wildly behind her sweater.
Gertrude Meadows scared her. She remember running past her house as a small child on her way home from school. The old woman frequently thrust open the door, yelling at children for looking at her precious cats.
Grasping the knocker, she pounded on the door, using all her strength. Someone had to listen to her. She couldn't live with the torment of Jack's abuse. The only one left who could help her was her boyfriend's grandmother.
Girty Meadows flung the door open. Maddox stood in front of her with her hands clasped behind her back. The young girl rocked on her heels.
"Well, what do you want?" Jack's Granny snapped.
"I want to come in," Maddox responded, quickly brushing past the old woman.
The house smelled musty. Two tabbies sprawled on a broken ottoman. Maddox patted one on the head and ruffled the other one's fur.
"Leave those cats alone," Girty grumbled, shooing them away. "No one touches my cats."
Maddox fixed her hard stare on the old woman. She didn't appreciate getting reprimanded. Girty held Maddox's eyes with her own. They remained in the grip of each other's gaze for a pregnant moment.
"I asked you what you want." Girty broke the spell first. "Answer me."
"Jack raped me," Maddox stated bluntly.
"That doesn't surprise me." The old woman was equally blunt.
"He raped me. Don't you understand the word?" Maddox shouted. She spread her arms in front of her imploringly. "He rapes me every day. My mom watches."
"Like I said: that doesn't surprise me." Girty lit a cigarette, blowing smoke in Maddox's face. "Considering where he came from, I cannot expect anything less. Once again, what do you want?"
"I want you to stop it!" Although Maddox screamed, her voice trembled. Gertrude Meadows' hard, cold snarl intimidated her. Her strength ebbed away. She was getting nowhere fast. "He's raping me!"
"Not my affair." Girty shrugged, drawing on her cigarette and exhaling.
Maddox stepped backward onto a cat's tail. The black feline screeched. Its back arched, and the tail puffed to twice its size. It hissed fiercely.
Maddox stood back, fear filling her. Girty Meadows loved her cats more than people.
"I told you to leave those cats alone," the old woman growled. Grasping Maddox's arm, she yanked the girl toward the front door. She pulled it open and shoved her visitor outside. The door slammed with a crack.
Maddox stood on the stoop, her shoulders sagging. Hatred filled her heart. She reached for the knocker and then changed her mind. She walked away with slow, dragging steps. Everyone she knew said Gertrude Meadows was heartless. Maddox fooled herself into believing the old woman cared about her grandson. She didn't give two wits about him. Maddox felt alone and frightened. She headed back to the trailer because she had nowhere else to go.
Michael Kelley's beat-up golf cart sat outside the maintenance shed when Maddox passed. She poked her head inside and found her father sitting at his workbench. His stooped form made her pause before entering. Maddox stood beside him. Michael was asleep.
"Daddy," Maddox whispered, shaking his shoulder. Michael didn't respond. She shook him again and waited for him to wake up. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in ages. Maddox couldn't remember having a real relationship with her father. He kept busy day and night.
Her daddy was practically a stranger to her. Most of her parenting came from Enola. Michael never disciplined her or Mikey. Household matters were left entirely to her mother.
Maddox remembered her father coming in to eat and snatch an hour or two of sleep. He kept his phone handy, knowing someone in the old trailer park would call with a complaint. He'd dress quickly and run out for solve the problem.
"Daddy," she said again, a little louder.
"Huh? What?" Michael Kelley looked up, his eyes blurry from sleep. "Oh, it's you."
Maddox pulled up a stool and sat beside her father. She longed to tell him what she told Girty but couldn't find the words. It was hard to talk to a father she barely knew. The words stuck in her throat, although she tried to push them out.
"I…I want to talk to you, daddy," she finally stammered, "about mom and…and Jack."
"Jack who?" Michael asked, his voice weary from sleep.
"Jack Meadows." Her father looked at her with questions in his eyes. "My boyfriend."
"Oh." Michael's voice remained flat, disinterested.
Maddox began to speak again, but Mikey appeared at that moment. Her younger brother picked up a wrench and began working on the garbage disposal on the bench. The boy placed each part in front of him. He examined them, determining the problem and reaching for new parts. Maddox slipped from her stool and wandered outside. She could hear Michael and her brother diagnosing the machinery.
Enola sprawled on the couch wearing her negligee when Maddox entered the trailer. Jack, clad only in his undershorts, lounged in the easy chair. They were both drinking brandy, passing the open bottle between them.
Months had passed since Enola quit her beauty parlor job. She never sought new employment. Instead, she remained at home, drinking and talking to Jack.
Maddox lingered for only a moment before spinning on her heels. She ran into the woods and climbed into the rickety tree fort. Darkness fell, but she remained there. It was cold, and she shivered, hugging herself against the frigid weather.
She reentered the trailer after midnight and crawled into her warm bed. Tears trickled down her reddened cheeks. She couldn't cope with the sudden changes in her life. Her childhood was behind her yet she was still not a woman.
Maddox woke up early the next morning. She took a hot shower and walked to school. No one was there to let her in, so she squatted on the cold bleachers and waited.
10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoKR5UlUq9
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10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvlOGyTzo3
Enola Kelley sat up in bed and stretched. She started to rise but collapsed against the pillows. Her tummy felt raw and churned up. Taking a deep breath, she bolstered herself and stood on shaky feet. The bedroom reeled, but she remained upright. Drank too much, she thought. Suddenly, she felt hungry.
Enola took a frying pan from the sink and wiped it with a paper towel. She turned on the stove and laid bacon in the pan. It sizzled and popped, and the aroma filled the trailer. Enola thought about bacon dipped in mayonnaise and anchovies. Suddenly, she was desperate for anchovies…and chocolate ice cream. She wanted peanut butter on pepperoni pizza.
Sauerkraut. She would send Jack for sauerkraut when he arrived. Enola wanted sauerkraut for lunch. Yes, that would suit her perfectly.
Chocolate ice cream. Enola hunted in the freezer for ice cream. When she sent him for groceries, she knew Jack had bought a half gallon. The formica table held the freezer's contents. Enola rummaged through the mess again.
An Ore-Ida curly fries bag fell to the floor. Fries covered the lineoleum floor. The icy potatoes crunching beneath her feet. Jack would have to clean them up when he arrived.
Enola began to sob. What was wrong with her? She never cried, never showed her feeling. Ice cream, her mind screamed, tears flooding her eyes. Her only thoughts were for ice cream. It made her feel stupid, inadequate She couldn't control her usually steely emotions.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook. She gasped for breath.
Enola held up a box of Creamsicles. Triumph, she thought. They would have to do. Unwrapping one, she shoved it in her mouth and sucked. Orange ice cream dribbled down her chin. The cold treat satisfied her hungry cravings for a moment.
The bacon continued frying, sizzling and popping. The greasy smell permeated the air. Her stomach tightened and churned. Enola's throat filled with vomit, and she clutched at it. She pivoted and ran to the bathroom. Vomit streamed from her mouth before she reached the toilet. It spattered the front of her dressing gown.
The bacon was burnt by the time she reentered the kitchen. She dumped it into the wastebasket and gagged. Bile rose in her throat again. Enola swallowed it down.
"NO!" she told herself, plunking at the kitchen table. Surely, it was impossible. She hadn't craved bacon dipped in mayonnaise since…since she was pregnant with Mikey.
Bacon and mayonnaise. Anchovies and chocolate ice cream. Maddox and Mikey. NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Enola shook her head. She pushed the thought aside. They drank too much. That was all.
Enola vomited every morning. She decided she had to quit drinking but continued anyway. She pushed the obvious symptoms to the back of her mind. Jack made love to her as usual. She craved his body as much as the bizarre food combinations. For the most part, she convinced herself she was not pregnant.
Maddox left home early and came home late. Enola didn't care one way or the other. She could share Jack or keep him to herself. It didn't matter one way or another. She ignored her daughter's coming and going as much as she ignored her body's subtle changes.
Jack remained her central focus. Enola took advantage of Jack, her overwhelming need for him skyrocketing. He was her trained puppy. She made him sick up and beg like a dog. She did not love him and only considered her own selfish fulfillment.
Her stomach began to protrude, little by little. Still, she ignored all the subtle changes. If she quit drinking, she would lose th weight. Yes, that was her plan: quit drinking.
Enola had convinced herself she was not pregnant by the time her first trimester was finished. She took advantage of Jack, focusing completely on her own sexual fulfillment. Her world grew smaller and smaller. She rarely left the trailer. Her paramour did all the grocery shopping and the household chores. Jack practically moved into the trailer following the Christmas holidays.
Michael barely noticed Jack's presence. Enola told him Jack was a houseguest. The younger man had a difficult home life, and Enola felt sorry for him. Jack was Maddox's friend as far as Michael was concerned. He felt satisfied with the arrangements if their visitor slept on the couch.
Maddox grew more disenchanted with her life as Enola's pregnancy moved forward. She endured Jack's rough lovemaking and her mother's preoccupation with watching them. It made her feel sick, but she accepted it as a part of her life.
Sailor drifted further away. Maddox longed to talk to her best friend, but Sailor was preoccupied with Clyde. Maddox bottled the hurt inside her. She continued to fantasize about running away. Jack was a huge part of her plans. She thought that if only he would treat her body with respect, their romance would blossom. Enola continued to stand between them.
"Hi," Maddox stated in a soft voice.
Sailor stood alone at her locker. A long time passed since Maddox had found her friend alone. Clyde was always hanging around.
Jealousy filled her small heart. She wanted Sailor all to herself, like when they were children. Maddox didn't want to grow up. If growing up meant rough sex, she wanted to remain a child forever.
Sailor had a perfect relationship with Clyde. They held hands as they walked along the school corridors and went to the movies on Saturday night. Maddox longed for Sailor's innocent romance. Instead, she endured Jack's heavy body and his penetrating penis. Life, she decided, was not fair.
Maddox waited for her friend to recognize her. A long time passed before her companion finished rummaging in her locker. Sailor turned toward her. Maddox forced a wider grin. She was going to suggest they play Barbies for old time's sake. 'Peter Pan.' Maddox wanted to become 'Peter Pan' and never grow up.
"Oh, hi," Sailor answered. She had expected Clyde and felt deflated to find Maddox by her side.
Sailor thought about sidestepping her friend, but her mother taught her better manners. She endeavored kindness although she didn't feel it. Her pity for her friend took first place. Sailor looked expectantly at Maddox.
"Doing anything after school?" Maddox ventured. Rocking on her heels, she clasped her hands behind her back.
"Clyde's coming over to study," Sailor answered, closing her locker. She shifted the books in her arms. "We have an exam in biology. I'm dreading it, but Clyde's got it down pat. Did you study?"
Maddox's face went blank. She never studied for exams. Her grades slipped from a steady C to a D-. Jack's abusive behavior distracted her mind. She couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a few moments before the abuse intruded on her thoughts. Instead of answering Sailor's question, she shrugged.
"You're failing, aren't you?" Sailor asked, concerned. Once upon a time, she studied with Maddox. Her efforts kept her friend's head above water. Since they drifted apart, she rarely spent any time helping her long-term companion. In a way, she felt sorry for not helping more.
"I don't care." Maddox's voice was flat. No, she didn't care. It didn't matter if she succeeded or failed. She would end up quitting school like Jack. Her life was already spiraling out of control.
"Come over after school," Sailor suggested. "I'm sure Clyde won't mind helping you. He's nice about stuff like that." Not like Jack, she thought of adding.
"Nah, that's all right." Maddox didn't like spending time with Clyde. He was too intelligent for her liking. She couldn't compete with Sailor and her boyfriend when it came to learning.
Silence fell between the two friends. Soon, the bell would ring, and they would enter the homeroom. Maddox's opportunity to speak up was fading.
"Do you have sex?" she blurted. Her words sounded too blunt in her ears. They didn't come out the way she expected.
Sailor stared at Maddox. Her question was rude and impertinent. Maybe she used to share secrets with her best friend, but no more. Their girl talk seemed silly and childish now that she had a little experience with Clyde. There were secrets she would no longer tell.
"No." Sailor finally responded. She didn't go into details. Her petting with her boyfriend was no one's business.
"I had sex with Jack. He…"
The bell rang, interrupting her confession. Sailor slammed her locker shut and entered Mr. Willard's classroom. Her face grew redder as she stared ahead of her. She didn't want to know what Maddox and Jack did together. She certainly didn't want to know about Jack's sexual performance. Somehow, the image of her friend and her horrid boyfriend's intimate behavior grew in her imagination. It made her shudder.
Sailor did not want to know about Maddox's bedroom adventures. She would have to separate from her friend if the discussion continued. Perhaps she would have listened if she knew how desperate Maddox was. Instead, she felt disgusted. It was time to cut ties. It saddened Sailor, but she couldn't continue her friendship with Maddox.
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