Some things were just not meant to be. The words repeated themselves, over and over again, in my tortured mind. The short letter that had sealed my fate and condemned me to a life of utter misery. I could see the words dancing before my eyes in the complete darkness of the moonless night. As bright as the fire that had consumed the words.
Do not let your mind be clouded by your heart. She had made it seem as though such a thing could be so simple. But how could that be when she had stolen it, taking with it any sort of control I may have had over it before.
Tear slipped from my eyes as I though about the letter. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Couldn’t get her out of my mind. I abruptly stood and began to pace back and forth along the length of my bedroom, the floorboards creaking under my weight. I did not care if the sound woke the sleeping residents that also occupied the house. I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was to endure a haunted, sleepless night, so I saw no reason why I should be so anxious that they enjoy the peace of undisturbed rest!
I breathed a heavy sigh as my mind wandered, unbidden, back to the accursed letter. The reason for my needless suffering. As hard as I tried, I could still remember the words.
My love,
I tell you this in a letter because I know that, should I see you, I could never say what it is that I need to say.
Though I have no doubt of your feelings, and no doubt of my own, some things were just not meant to be. I care so much for you, but, my love, you must listen to reason. Do not let your mind be clouded by your heart. It truly pains me that things must be this way. Even as I write these words, tears stream from my eyes knowing the way that things are to be.
I implore you to give up on your pursuit of me. Torture my no longer with this false hope. I know that what we feel, and what we have, just cannot be. Neither of us are wealthy enough to marry for love. You know that as well as I do.
Turn your attention to someone who is better suited to holding your heart, and allow me to do the same.
Oh, that beautiful demon! How could she be so cruel as to try and deny me a love I felt so deeply that it physically hurt? I felt the pain afresh as a thought of her impossible beauty and recalled the first time I had met her. the memory was still fresh in my mind.
*****
For as long as I have been able to remember, a few miles from the house in which I resided grew the woods that shaped my life. They shaped my life because they were the woods in which I discovered an escape, and discovered Arabella. There was a stream that ran through to the middle of the woods, at which point the water formed a small lake. It was there that I first saw her, sitting on a smooth rock by the water’s edge. Beside her sat a man who looked older than herself. While a small smile lit up her her face, a harsh scowl marred his own dark feature. Though they had the same black hair and dark brown eyes, I could only think of the man as plain, where as she was almost impossibly beautiful. Like a fallen angel in my eyes.
I slowed my horse to a halt as we approached, enchanted as I was by that divine creature before me. That was when she noticed me, catching sight of me over the man’s shoulder. The man, who I learned to be her brother, Kieran, turned to me, curious as to what she had seen. He called me closer, curious as to my presence. During the ensuing conversation, I learned about the two, and they about me. By the time I was to leave, I had formed a sort of attachment to the two and agreed to meet them there the next day.
As the days passed, they and I grew closer, and towards Arabella, attachment turned to affection. Affection turned to utter devotion. For so long I made the long trip on horseback just to catch a glimpse of her. Watch as the light from sun forced its way through the branches just to touch her skin and make her hair shine as though it had been woven from magic.
A few months after the initial meeting, I confessed to her my love. The intensity of what I felt for her was too consuming for me to keep it hidden. She revealed to me that she felt the same.
Every day we would meet at the lakeside. That is, of course, until our meetings became less frequent. She began distancing herself from me. The duration between our meetings becoming longer and longer until on that Winter’s night, I received that letter. I threw it into the fire in a fit of rage, and as I watched it burn it felt as though the flames were consuming not only the paper, but the pieces of my broken heart.
*****
I learned the following year, that she had become engaged to a far wealthier man. As soon as Kieran told me, I closed off my heart to the world.
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