Chapter 2.
“Yellow brick road”
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I took another sip from my cup of already cold coffee, waiting impatiently for them to pick up on the other side of the line. The truth is that the other phone hadn’t even rang for the fourth time, but my nervousness had me in suspense. I had to refrain myself from biting my nails due to the anxiety – a habit I am not proud of, but I admit to have whenever I'm nervous or stressed.
It was around 9:40am, and I wasn’t sure whether it was a prudent hour to call, but I urgently needed to get in contact with the aforenamed owner of the room in rent and negotiate about the place. In a couple of weeks I’d find myself forced to leave this house, so it was best to have a roof assured as soon as possible.
Before it rang a fifth time on the line, I heard them picking up the telephone receiver and a deep husky voice talked through the speaker.
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- Yeah?
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For a split second, I was stunned to hear such voice, undecided if I had disturbed him in some way. I hurried to utter the words, forcing my brain to find the right connections to speak.
- Uh… Hi. – I stammered. – I… A friend told me about the room that you were offering for rent and gave me your number. I’m sorry if I called too early.
- No, no… it’s fine. – He said, even though I could catch a glimpse of sleepiness hidden in his voice. – Gary gave you my number?
- Yes. – I nodded, although it was kind of pointless for he could not see me, I reminded myself. – I’m interested on renting a room that doesn’t cost much, and he suggested me to call you. Unless it is already occupied, of course.
- You’re lucky, it’s still vacant. Is it okay if we met somewhere to discuss about it?
- Of course! Could it be this afternoon, around six?
- Sure. There’s a café downtown, it’s called ‘Oaken Broomsticks’. Do you know it?
- Yes, I’ve gone there some times.
- Perfect. So, shall we meet there at six o’clock?
- Sounds good to me. – I agreed, feeling a spark of excitement inside of me.
- Oh! By the way, the name’s Adam Gontier. You have my number, if anything comes up or whatever. – He said before saying goodbye, and for a moment I felt like a complete idiot for having forgotten to introduce myself and hadn’t ask for his name before either, even though he didn’t seem to mind about that.
- Right, sorry! I’m Benjamin Burnley. Thank you, Adam. See you then.
- Bye.
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He hung and I immediately did the same. I sighed, running a hand through my face and hoping that I hadn’t given a bad impression through the phone to my possible new landlord. It was hard for me to calculate his age, for his voice was of a nice baritone, but it wasn’t as if it mattered much anyways. I just had to wait now to meet him in person and talk about the subject of the room. At least I felt relieved to know that the room was still available for rent, which was a great advantage.
I walked into the shower and got ready for my meeting with the members of Shaun’s band – which, according to what the brunet had informed me the previous night, was still lacking a name. If I made it and passed this little test, I would have a part of my life already for granted. It was like if destiny painted a yellow brick road before me for me to follow. I just hoped it wasn’t too good to be true.
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Jeans, black and white Adidas, my favorite Nirvana t-shirt and an army green jacket. Once ready, I took the keys of my humble silver Honda Accord and I left home, heading to where I had agreed to meet with Shaun and the band. Fortunately, there wasn’t much traffic on the streets, so I arrived in the scheduled hour without any problem.
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The front of Aaron’s house – if I remember well, that was the name of Shaun’s friend – was quite pretty itself, with roof tiles and all. It seemed well preserved, despite the inclemencies that the change of seasons could cause on the houses. I parked the car in front, where I was sure I wouldn’t hinder anybody, and climbed out of the car, taking with me the case of my guitar that had been sitting on the passenger’s seat during the whole way. It wasn’t hard to find place, actually.
With a glimpse of nervousness in my system, hoping for the social anxiety that I suffered not to betray me, I approached the front door and rang the bell once, holding with the other hand the case of my Pacifica.
In less than half a minute, the door was opened, revealing a smiling Shaun on the other side.
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- Hi, Ben! You arrive on time, that’s good. I think you have another point in your favor. – He greeted, with that joy that appeared to radiate from his very core. – Come in, please. The guys are downstairs. Come.
- Hello, Shaun. Thanks. – I replied, relieved for not having to introduce myself to a stranger… at least, not yet.
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Panic swept over me slowly as Shaun guided me through the corridor in Aaron's house towards the stairs that lead to the basement, where the other guys were getting ready and waited for us. Dammit! I hadn’t had an anxiety attack in a good while, since I had been a period in the Law College – another reason why I abandoned the studies, by the way.
What if I wasn’t what they wanted? What if I didn’t fulfill the expectations to be part of the band? What if they laughed at me, or if I ruined everything like that one time…? A sea of possible failures lay before me, sinking me into the desperation. I had the urge to turn around and run away back on my own tracks, climb into my car and go back home until the final day came and I had to move out. But I controlled myself. I couldn’t act like a coward now.
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- This way, come. You’ll like them, they’re good blokes. Don’t worry. – Shaun offered me an encouraging smile, as if he could read my mind… or my body language.
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I nodded, drawing something similar to a smile back at him, breathing in deeply to slacken my muscles. My hands were sweating, and I hadn’t even met them yet. I needed to calm down.
It was funny… to think that actually I could stand in front of an audience – small, that’s true, but it was enough for me to know that it was a greater number of individuals than mine to worry me – without being as nervous as I was in that moment, it was even ridiculous. In my defense, when I was on the stage, I only worried about doing my thing; I didn’t see the amount of people that was watching me, I just thought about them as folks that appreciated music the way I did, and that cheered me up somehow. But, when it was about socializing with people, well… that was a completely different story. I suffered from anxiety since I was a kid, so that’s why socializing wasn’t one of my skills.
We finally descended to the basement; from the corridor I could hear the murmur of their conversations and laughter at some joke, at the same time they tuned their instruments. The basement was capacious enough for the equipment needed, and had good illumination too.
I quickly distinguished the other three figures that chatted with each other in an enjoyable manner, awaiting our arrival. They turned to us the moment they heard us going down the stairs, expectant.
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- Guys, this is Benjamin Burnley. – Shaun introduced me, saving me the effort of doing it by myself, which I appreciate.
- Hi! – One greeted, who seemed to be the youngest of the three standing there.
- What’s up? – Said another one.
- Wait, wait… Benjamin Burnley? Are we talking about the same Benjamin Burnley? – Intervened another, the taller one. He looked too familiar to me, and he seemed to know me from somewhere. His head was cleanly shaved, and a short dark beard was starting to grow on his chin. I tried to rummage into the drawers of my memory the image of that guy, without much success. Until I dawned on where I had seen him for the last time. – It can’t be, you haven’t changed at bit, man! What, don’t you remember me?
- Aaron?! Aaron Bruch?!
- The same! I was beginning to worry about your lack of memory, dude. – The aforenamed laughed, approaching me and patting my shoulder in a friendly gesture. – But, what brought you here in Toronto?
- Wait, do you know each other? – The guy with the glasses arched an eyebrow, misplaced.
- Isn’t it obvious? – The other one teased, a brown-haired guy who was tuning his bass.
- Where did you meet? – Shaun asked, curious.
- We were neighbors there in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. – Aaron answered with a smile. – Dude, I can’t believe you’re here!
- Neither do I. Since when have you been living here? I don’t know how we’ve never met. – I said, unbelieving.
- I know! I moved here a couple of years ago. I never would have thought you were here in town.
- The world’s a handkerchief. – I shrugged.
- Tell me about it!
- Well, it’s nice to meet you as well, Ben. – The guy with the bass drew our attention, jokingly.
- Oh, right… These are Jasen Rauch and Keith Wallen. – Aaron named them, pointing at each of them respectively. – You already know little Shaun.
- Since when am I the ‘little Shaun’? – The mentioned huffed, amused.
Aaron just laughed, shaking his head, and spoke to me again.
- I see you have your guitar with you. Mind to give us a little demonstration?
- Sure. – I nodded.
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Now that I knew who the members of Shaun’s band were, and that I had surprisingly discovered that one of them was an old friend from my childhood back there in Pennsylvania, I felt way more easy and comfortable. They actually appeared to be nice guys, the other two; I liked them. And I had a pair of friends in Aaron and Shaun already for granted.
I took out my guitar of its case carefully. Keith, the guy with the glasses and light brown hair – or dirty blonde, I couldn’t decide it yet – handed me an extension to connect it to the amplifier, which I thanked. I had been wise to tune the strings before leaving home, so that I just had to adjust them a little for them to sound properly. The guys sat on an old couch that Aaron had there, acting as public. There was no room left for Keith on the couch, so he had to sit on the armrest beside Jasen.
Once I was ready, I turned to the guys.
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- Any request?
- Why don’t you play last night’s first performance, ‘Breed’? I love that song, and your version of it is amazing. – Shaun suggested, enthusiastically.
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I nodded and placed my fingers over the corresponding notes. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and focusing on my task. Then, I started to play. The notes flowed by themselves through the strings of my Pacifica, reproducing the riff of the song accurately. Everyone present had already heard me play before, at some point in the past, but they all watched me as if it was the very first time they ever did. I didn’t get nervous, I didn’t think about it. I just let my mind to focus on the music. It was easy for me to mingle with the sound and get lost in it; music was everything for me, like an alternate reality.
I finished the song just like the night before. Adrenaline rushed through my veins vehemently, causing an agreeable tickling in my stomach. An unexpected series of applauses shook me out of my dreaminess. I glanced over at the guys, whom smiled pleased at my performance.
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- You’re even better than I remember, dude. – Aaron said.
- I told you! He’s great. – Shaun contributed, as if proud of his statements.
- That was awesome, man. – Agreed Jasen. – You have talent.
- Thanks. – I murmured, lowering my head, abashed due to the praise.
- We definitely want you in the band, bro! – Keith declared, smiling. – Now it’s going to be us who’ll have to put an effort on reaching the expectations to share the stage with you.
A blush crept up to my face, unaccustomed to such amount of compliments in a single day. I smiled shyly as response.
- Hey, you’re overwhelming our new singer! – Aaron intervened with a teasing tone.
We all laughed.
I could barely believe that all of that was for real. I had already been vocalist of a group in high school, when I was part of a garage band along with Aaron himself. We called it ‘Epoch’. Those were good times, indeed. I also was in another rock band during my short period being an academic. Sadly, we didn’t last together as I had expected.858Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkm3ugJoZW
This, however, promised to be different. I still didn’t know quite well what I’d got into, but I had hope that it was something more tangible that would take me to reach the top, as I had always dreamed.
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From one moment to another, we found ourselves wrapped in a pleasant chat, telling anecdotes, talking a little about our lives, knowing each other, joking and laughing as good old pals – and I had the feeling that they would end up being exactly that to me; more than just band mates, they’d become good friends of mine.
Shaun remembered the first time he saw me on stage, a couple of years ago, at the place where I played before. I remember it was the first time I performed in front of an audience of more than a dozen people, and I was so nervous I accidentally broke one of the microphones. Everybody laughed when they heard the comical anecdote.
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- Think I’ll start calling you ‘Ben the Breaker’. – Aaron teased, laughing.
- Hey, it’s not a bad idea. We could call the band that way! – Replied Keith with humor.
- ‘Ben the Breaker’? Really? – Jasen snorted, shaking his head amused.
- What about ‘Breaking Benjamin’? – Shaun suggested, who had been somewhat thoughtful after Aaron’s comment.
We all looked at each other, considering the name seriously. If we had to be honest, I must admit that it didn’t sound that bad; in spite of being based on a joke at my expense, it could have been a good name for a band. And the others seemed to agree.
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- Sounds good, actually. – Aaron accorded with a nod.
- Yeah, why not? I vote for ‘Breaking Benjamin’. – Keith seconded.
- ‘Breaking Benjamin’ it will be, then. – Said Jasen as well.
- Awesome! You don’t mind, do you, Ben? Is it okay to you that we call the band like that? – Shaun asked me.
- Sure! We’ll be ‘Breaking Benjamin’. – I replied, smiling.
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And that was how we baptized the band from that moment, how we got our identity. That day was the official birth of ‘Breaking Benjamin’. The guys and I agreed on celebrating this victory properly, even though we’d have to wait until next week for that – it was just Sunday that day, and during the week I had to work at the store at daytime and play in the usual bar and some other cafeterias and places around at night for a living, therefore I didn’t have any spare time until the next Saturday.
I lost a little more time with them, talking and making plans about when we would rehearse and what should we play. We thought about talking to the manager of the bar where I played and suggested him to let the band perform instead. I doubted he would refuse, and it seemed like an excellent plan to make the band known and become popular among the public.
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The clock seemed to want to torture me. I looked around almost every single minute that passed, with my hands intertwined on my lap, waiting for the said Adam Gontier to appear for our meeting. The ‘Oaken Broomsticks’ coffee shop had a nice atmosphere, I had to admit, which helped a lot with my anxiety. Restiveness was taking over me with every second spent, with no sign of my possible future landlord.
I looked once more at my watch, letting out a sigh when I ensured that it had only passed seven minutes since the accorded hour. I was being paranoid and exaggerated, I knew that, but I was starting to fear that he’d never show up. What if he had forgotten about our meeting here? My neck would soon begin to ache for turning to look at the entrance so much, observing the customers come in and hoping to recognize in any of them any indicative that told me they were the man I was waiting for. But none of them seemed to be him.
I sighed, turning one more time to the entrance, waiting on my place. At least I couldn’t complain that much, for I had a seat. The socializing thing had gone well with the guys of the band, thus I hoped it was similar with Adam, or I’d be in trouble.
Miraculously, the glass door opened again, giving way to a new customer. This one was tall – perhaps not as much as myself, but he was notably over six feet –, slim, fair complexion and raven black hair; he wore a grey jumper with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows – exhibiting that way a series of tattoos on both arms –, worn jeans and black leather boots. He had all the appearance of a rocker, in fact. The length of his hair, also, reached below his chin.858Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiwLVhrf3N
He ran the place with his eyes, as if looking for someone in particular, and then I realized. I felt my throat drying, and I swallowed repeatedly. His eyes found mine for a moment, and after a split second he moved towards me with a casual and secure pace, slightly slovenly due to his height.858Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHYKpIkgSU
Now that I had a better look at him, at a shorter distance, he wasn't bad looking. Under a pair of thick eyebrows, his eyes showed off a hallucinating turquoise shade that seemed to change with the lighting. His features were soft, subtle, but not less masculine or attractive. Thin lips and forehead covered by a bang of hair, both ears pierced. He couldn't be much older than me; two years apart, as much.
His brows arched, staring at me with interest. I hadn’t realized that he was not standing right in front of me. Dammit! I just hoped that I hadn’t been staring like an idiot for too long.
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- Are you Benjamin Burnley? – He asked, and I recognized the husky baritone of his voice.
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It was a nearly impossible mission to find the right connections between my brain and my tongue. It was as if he had reset the hard drive of my head, I could barely react. I wasn’t even sure why, but I was stunned. In the end, Heaven must have taken pity on me because I managed to articulate a response.
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- Yes, I… that’s me. – I nodded, clumsily. – You’re Adam Gontier, I guess.
- I am. – He replied, presuming a captivating smile. I gulped. – I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long. I had to get gas halfway to here.
- No, no… it’s okay.
- Good. – He nodded, with that enigmatic gaze of his and that smile that was beginning to distract me and to increase my nervousness. He tilted his head a bit, staring at my t-shirt with interest. – Nirvana, huh? I think I already like you. – He said, his smile acquiring a somewhat kittenish hint. He looked at the chair opposite of mine on the table, then turning back to me. – Can I?
- Please.
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He took a seat in front of me, which wasn’t very helpful; now I could feel his eyes fixed on my face while I dodged his gaze and chose to alternate my eyes from the table to my hands, and if it was necessary to look at him, I just focused on a spot between his eyebrows instead, totally avoiding the eye contact.
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- So – He took the lead, which I appreciated. –, you say you’re interested on renting the room?
- Yes. – I nodded. – I was looking for something cheap, not necessarily big. I plan on moving during this week or the next one. As soon as possible.
- I see. – Said he. – The rent itself is cheap. I don’t ask for much; basically what I ask for is half of the monthly expenses of the house, with a minimal added interest, of course.
- That sounds… quite reasonable. – I noted, considering the offer seriously. That didn't seem too much.
- There wouldn’t be any problem with the space, either. It’s a big room. It’s… a basement, in fact. It’s unoccupied and acclimated to be a room. You’d just need to bring a bed or a mattress, and whatever you need. I suppose that the ‘ugly part’ of it would be that the rest of the house, except from my bedroom obviously, would be shared by the two of us. The living room, kitchen, utility room… and the bathroom.
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That said, he looked at me expectant, wincing slightly as if preparing himself to receive my refusal. The truth is that the idea of sharing the bathroom with a stranger wasn’t very much promising. And no doubt I had to ponder it. But I also had to have in mind the scarce budget I had, and how difficult it would be to find to find a better offer in such a short time. I didn’t have any better option, even if I had searched on the Internet and the announcement section of the newspaper for any other vacant.
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- I won’t push you, don’t worry about that. You can think about it and, if you still up to, you have my number to let me know. – He assured me, calmly.
For a second, I found those eyes again, and I felt like I lost my hold on reality for a brief moment. I looked away, wishing he wasn’t aware of the blush on my cheeks. I cleared my throat, twisting my fingers nervously on my lap, under the table.
- Sure, thanks. – I managed to say. – Can I see it? The room, I mean.
- Of course. Whenever you please. – He smiled, nodding. – Are you free tomorrow?
- I work half shift. But I have a couple of spare hours before my second job, so maybe… I could, uh… come around there?
- I think that's great. What time shall we meet? You have my address, don't you?
- Yeah, yeah, I… Umm… Is it alright at five o’clock?
- Perfect. Tomorrow at five, then. – He nodded again. He stared at me for a while, with some curiosity in his eyes. His scrutiny was making me uncomfortable. He seemed to notice, for he softened his stare a little. – What’s your job, Ben? If you don’t mind the question, of course.
I shook my head, staring down at the polished wooden surface.
- I work half shift in a music store.
- And your second job?
- I play at night at the bar on the Maple Av.
- You’re a musician? – He asked, pleasantly surprised. – Wow, that’s cool, man! I also play in a rock band. I’m the singer, actually. Don’t you worry, we don’t rehearse at my place. – He added, chuckling.
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So he was the singer? Well, honestly, with such a deep and charming voice he had, I shouldn’t be surprised. And it was expected that he was a rocker, for his look made it obvious.858Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEHyWqSZfK
In fact, now that I considered all things learned, Adam didn’t seem like a bad guy. He was carefree, easy going, friendly and funny, only at first glance. There was a possibility that maybe I could build a good relationship with him, not to say a friendship. And the idea was thrilling, if I must admit.
I could feel the anxiety beginning to yield a little, once I felt more comfortable there with Adam's presence. I smiled back at him, amused.
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- Hey, do you have something to do now, or would you mind to have a coffee? I would like to know a bit about my new housemate.
- Sounds good to me. – I said a tad timidly.
- Awesome! – He smiled brightly. – My treat.
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Of course I didn’t plan on letting him pay for me, but I wasn’t going to argue – nor did I feel capable of winning an argument, either way. We spent slightly more than an hour of chatting and small talk, thus letting me know a little more about my new housemate and landlord.
Adam was a really nice guy. And, as much as I wanted to refuse, he insisted and ended up paying for the bill of the two of us.
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