Sometimes, I just don't really feel like living anymore. It really hurts but I do not know why. I often tend to regret things sometimes and it just makes me feel more burdened. Does anyone feel the same?
I do have antidepressants that my dad bought for me (obviously that is from prescriptions from my doctor which confirmed my disorder). Before I actually revealed my depression to my family and friends (close friends), I actually took the risk of considering how to control it when my secret that I've kept for a long time got revealed. The next thing that came to my mind was antidepressants. I've seen people I know take it, and they always say to not take antidepressants too often and try to consider not taking it as it can make you addicted. That literally sounds news to me, and I hesitated, but sometimes I ended up letting the medicine(?) be consumed by me.
I try to limit myself to take at least one or two pills a day (a full 24 hours) because even though I'm dead inside, I still have responsibilities than can ruin my life. And when I mean ruin, I could even end up living in the streets, or be lonely forever.
One thing that often helps me is when I am about to sleep and it is the time I often let myself out of the cage and cry like a bitch, I often just plug my earphones into my ears, plug the jack and listen to radios, Spotify and podcasts. I feel like when someone that has a soothing and calming sound speaks through the microphone that leads a cool and crisp sound, traveling into your ears, it makes me think that I can trust myself and live again.
What are the things that helps you when you are depressed (come on, at least we are depressed at least once in our lifetime, right loves?), do let me know.
Love you guys as always.776Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioMHPQRM1R
With love,
- R.D.
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