She had never thought anything would touch her, distract her from her destiny. She was special, talented, destined for great things, and she was sure everyone knew that. Everything was meant to fall into place, at the appointed time.
What she had never factored in was herself. Her human, weak, flesh! She had never thought she could be her own enemy, cruelly robbing herself of the future she so clearly deserved. She deserved all the blame. She should have known better, but she had been so blinded by vanity that she never even realized she had strayed.
How did she get here? Was it because of bad decisions or bad friends? She had never had to make any important decisions. She always got the best, and there was never any debate about that. It took her time to realize that the word best was subjective, and that the wrapping often departed from the contents. Precious time that could not be regained or replaced.
Now, at the end of it all, she felt numb. It was the only feeling she could afford, the only way she could make it today, and tomorrow. She had the option to feel the pain, the tiny rivulets of blood slowly cascading down her legs, she could also close her eyes and feel the spasms wash through her body. Yes, the tears were not far, but she was not going to let them fall. She was not going to mourn. She was going to pick her tatters and face the world. And it did not matter that she was crumbling, that every step she took shook her whole being. She just knew that she could not stay still. She had to keep moving, even if she never seemed to be getting anywhere.
They were looking for her, she knew. It wouldn't be long before they found her. Her family and all her well meaning friends. They were worried, not because she was breaking down, which was understandable, but because she seemed so solid, so sure, so in control. She had never been like that, preferring to be pampered, to be cuddled, most of the time. The person she had become, they could not understand, but they had to support her, to be there for her.
Some would say that she was strong, the ignorant who liked to live other people's lives for them. She was weak, weaker than most, for she had never been trained to be strong. She fretted at the smallest things and worried endlessly. But she was also good at acting. It came almost naturally. All those acting lessons had finally paid off. She had not known then when they pushed and shouted at her, what they meant by being in role, now she spent her whole life acting, being in role.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
