Chapter 1
"Whyyyyy?! My God"
It had only been three days since I left home and my dad was already 5150.
"It hurts so bad!"
"What hurts so bad, Dad?"
"My soul!"
"Dad, stop, seriously."
"But you don't understand, Zo-Zo. The world is a dangerous place now! College is totally different than when I was coming up."
"Okay, dude, you had Freaknik"
"Lies! Propaganda! Freaknik never happened!"
"Okay, there are YouTube videos, one of which I'm actually pretty sure you're in"
"Okay, it was amazing. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. But I don't want that for you!"
"Dad, I don't want that for me."
"You know, I got to go."
"No! No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Um, when you come home this weekend, can we watch "The Breakfast Club" together?"
"Dad, I'm not coming home this weekend."
"Aaaah! But that's our favorite! Don't forget about me! That was the song's one rule. -
"Bye Dad"
Three days. Shell of a man.
I'd been in college for three days, and at that moment, there was no way my dad or anyone couldn't have told me that I didn't already know everything I needed to know to completely master this place the same way I had in high school. Out of my league I knew it all. I knew that Ronald J. Winthrop was our school founder, and that he dabbled in slavery. I knew that the Cal U basketball team of 1958 would get bodied by the Cal U basketball team today.
I knew that this was the women's bathroom and also the men's bathroom.446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqhhvT10ww
I knew this was the campus hot spot this was the campus lame spot and this was the campus dead spot.
This reception is Drug boy's steady shooting But the one thing I didn't know about college, that I'd never admit to my dad or anybody else, was that in all actuality, I would soon discover that I didn't know anything. We're trapped inside the matrix Which was obvious because I was enrolled in a midnight class that no one in their right mind would ever want to be in And I especially didn't know that the same film my dad begged me to watch this weekend, the same film that ignited our father-daughter bond, the film that taught me how to apply lipstick with my boobs, would be way closer to my real life than I ever knew.
"Good evening, everyone. If you're here for the Digital Marketing Strategies class, you've come to the correct place. If you're here to inquire about the listing for a mixed-breed litter of premature breech terrier puppies You've also come to the correct place"
"I am Professor Dr. Charles Telphy"
"As adjunct professor for the midnight-to-2:00-AM "after-night-school" program, I welcome you to a unique, new educational frontier. Most of our jobs don't allow us to go to school during normal hours."
"But the daylight belongs to the meek. The bold own the night. And with it, the future. We're just into tomorrow before anyone else."
"Now, this syllabus right here is gonna break down the entire course starting with week one drones. Week two, drones from the past. Week three, drones of the future. Basically, this will be an all-drones class. - Why? - 'Cause they arose me."
So, just like "The Breakfast Club," these six losers who I normally never would have even spoken to, would not only become my friends, but some of the closest people to me in my life. Like Nomi she's my boo.
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
But it didn't exactly start off that way.See, Nomi wasn't your typical Jewish-American princess. In fact, she wasn't your typical anything.She liked Rottweilers and moshing at Swedish death-metal concerts. She was a liberated woman who didn't conform to the boundaries or laws that her family, society, or 49 of the 50 states deemed acceptable. And then there were these two.
"Hey, I'm Jazlyn! She's Skyler".
"Are you guys - Twins?"
"B."
"T".
"Dubs, your hair is everything."
Despite their Simi Valley accent, the twins from Tyler Perry's "The Shining" were actually from the hood. They were also Cal U's hottest track recruits, which meant they were judged about everything, just like the young, Black, female athletes who came before them were scrutinized about their speed, their bodies, even their edges. But America's darlings were a far cry from this guy, who had a different opinion about America.
"This one's "Black Lives Matter," I got "I Can't Breathe," "Michelle 2020," "Justice for Kalief Browder," and "Free Assata Shakur."
" Oh, and what's the bracelet for?"
"Um, that just lets the EMTs know that I have a peanut allergy."
Aaron and I met during freshman orientation1He was a super-hot sophomore with a bunch of forearm tattoos who somehow, against all odds, made a ducktail work. Seriously, that should not work, right?
But questionable hair choices aside, he had big plans to change the world
"Um, BSU's protesting the fact that Cal U is changing the blackboards to whiteboards. Why would they do that?"
"Here we go. This dude."
"Uh, is, uh, something funny, bro?"
"Nah, we get it. You're, um, "woke""
Baby Basquiat over here is Luca, the only freshman fly enough to rock the same skirt as me and make me think about changing. But not everyone was a fan.
"Okay, my bad for caring about the culture. Maybe I should be more like you and spend all my free time ring shopping."
"But then when would you have time to look for buttons?"
"Dude, would you keep it down? This isn't the Magic Johnson Theatre....But it'd be cool if it were. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] He's a community entrepreneur."
So that dude who was about to get "World Starred" was Vivek, a first-generation Gujarati Indian born to a devoutly Hindu family. He was a straight-A student and a National Merit Scholar, and he had big dreams of following in the footsteps of his hero. Drake
So, I'm pretty sure you're wondering how a girl like me, with perfectly threaded eyebrows and J. Law-level charm wound up in a midnight class full of puppies and meth addicts. Well, you weren't the only one.
CONTINUED
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