7th April, XXXX
Breaking off the engagement is going to be hard.
I decided to talk with Mother about my engagement with the prince today. Mother was good friend with late Queen Henrietta, Prince Sebastian's mother. Before the two of them were married, they made a pact. Their children will marry each other. Don't ask me why they did that, but I think that's really stupid. Look at how it turned out for Sebastian and I. However, it's not up to me to decide. And to put it politely (since one should not say bad things about the late Queen nor one's mother), the late Queen and my mother are both... bubbly.
When Queen Henrietta was pregnant with Sebastian and Mother with my brother, Adrian, they were already planning their wedding. (To be quite honest, they were planning Sebastian and Adrian's wedding, so Adrian should be the one marrying him, not me.) But alas, it turned out Adrian is a boy. Mother was disappointed and rumor has it that Mother was so sure it's a girl, she only bought baby girl clothes. She even wanted to dress Adrian in girl clothes. Father stopped that in time so baby Adrian didn't turn into a boy who once wore baby girl clothes.
2 years later, Mother was pregnant again. The two of them became excited once again. This time Father forbade Mother from buying bunches of baby girl clothes, I guess in the fear that if this turned out to be a boy again, Mother might really dress the baby in girl's clothes. They planned Sebastian and Jesse's wedding, their still very much non existent grandchild's baby shower... Of course, Jesse is a boy. Mother was extremely extremely disappointed.
You see from then on Mother and Queen Henrietta became... obsessed. So when I came 2 years later, if they could I am sure they would throw Sebastian and I together and marry the two of us as soon as I was born. Of course they could not (thankfully and I'm sure that's illegal), Sebastian and I were engaged.
Why was I writing down such detailed episode of Mother and Queen Henrietta's lunacy (no delete that) epic wish? I listened to that extremely detailed and crazy epic tale from my mother just now.
See, I decided to bring up the topic tactfully.
"Mother, you see I am engaged to Prince Sebastian since the very first second I was born... but..."
"Oh yes! You and Sebastian are going to make the loveliest couple!"
Uh-huh... look how we turned out.
"Well... Mother... we are just not close to each other! We don't even talk. We are not even friends. Maybe..."
"What nonsense, you two literally grow up next to each other! You were so talkative whenever he came to play with you!"
I was five. Which child isn't talkative when she is five? I was at an age when I like to make-pretend. All Sebastian did was stand there like a statue.
I admit, we were close once. As in I could talk to him and regard him as my play mate. But that was before Queen Henrietta passed away which happened when I was ten. Since Queen Henrietta's death, Sebastian no longer visited me. Guess what happened to play mates who haven't talked to each other in six years? They became strangers!
"Mother, that was six years ago... Now..."
"Poor Henrietta!" Mother started sobbing. "Back when..."
Mother thus started to tell me her stories with Queen Henrietta and their failed attempt to marry Sebastian with Mother's first and second born.
I knew that I was not their first choice! But did you have to say 'It's such a pity Adrian isn't a girl.'????
Needless to say, my first attempt in breaking off the engagement failed.
Life for a reborn girl is going to be hard.
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