Welcome
Tap, tap, tap... you open your eyes and there's this little green man staring at you. He's got a large belly and three toes that remind you of lion's paws. What is this man/creature? And better yet, where are you? You look around confused. Suddenly you realize, you can't even feel a solid surface below you! What's going on?!
"The mortal's awake!" Shouts the stout green man. You push your head up a bit and see a bunch of... babies? They waddle toward you and you want to escape, this is a man's nightmare. Being surrounded by children that aren't his!
"Show him around," says one of the babies in a terrifyingly deep voice. You're then lifted to an upright position and can see things quite clearly. Honestly, it was less confusing when you were lying down. You try to speak, but can't.
"Mortal," says the green man, "you're wondering why you're here. You are here simply because mankind has too many errors. I have many names, but the name I like is Zak. I stole it from a junkie in Florida." You're even more confused now and want nothing more than for this dream to end and to possibly rethink your weed habits.
"Oh yeah, sorry mortal, you are in the Realm of Gods. Y'all call it heaven or hell, but there's really three places: the Fulfilled, the Progressive, and the Doomed. It's how we immortals categorize your mortal free-floating spirits." So you're in heaven? Wait! Crap! Did you die?!
"No, you're not dead. Yes, I can hear your thoughts. I can see the things you imagine too, so don't think of anything too inappropriate hear me! Beamedies, the goddess of human mortal wellfares, realized the human race is kind of going through a crisis. So to help the human world we are accepting a few to take a tour of our realm." Yeah, but why?
"Humanity has taken itself into the era of technology. This is bad for us gods because we can't measure the worth of your souls if you have no face to face interaction with people. Many people are going to end up in either the Doomed or Progressive. Neither of which need more mortals. We felt bad that many humans turned into jerks. So if we can show a couple of humans the errors of their ways maybe it will spread. Otherwise, we will have to cause another reboot to humanity." So humans are jerks and no one is truly fit for heaven? Cool!
"No, not cool. The spirits with the 5 worst lives in the Doomed each day are disposed of and even with the chance of reincarnation in the Progressive, no one has the will to do it anymore. The spirits have realized that being born on to Earth is almost like being plagued with permanent jerk syndrome due to the anonymity of the internet." Oh... That doesn't sound too great... If you were dead where would you have ended up?
"Let's see, you dropped out of high school, spend most of your time drunk and high with people younger than you, you have assaulted a mime before, you never go to church or think about people other than yourself. That qualifies you for Doomed." Crap.
"Exactly, you're 28 and still have a chance to redeem yourself and those you know. Come meet the gods and goddesses, go through the three realms, and I'll release you back home. Good?" Sure. Zak? Why would he pick that name when it could be something so much cooler? "For your information, I like the name, Zak."
Meet the Gods
Together you go to this ginormous white square that radiates light. Out walk several people and they surround you. One with bright orange skin and golden hair pushes the others aside. She strides toward you and in a melodious sing-song voice, she says, "Welcome to the Realm of Gods, unworthy mortal. I am Afradora, the Queen of goddesses and gods, ruler of the Fulfilled. I don't live beside any god as I am independent. Bow down as I give the blessings of beauty, love, and life," She held her head up high and you wanted to think of some things you'd do to those big- Ow! Zak hit you!
A creature that appears to be some sort of deer trots to you and stares at you with red eyes. The deer is black and its fur seems to suck the life and light illuminating from Afradora. "I am Diakai the undertaker. Where my sister gives, I take. I oversee the Doomed and act as a threat to the Progressive. I don't give the mortals misfortune I simply direct them to it. Most of the time their judgment is so poor they do exactly as I planned." The deer laughs maniacally and you do feel scared. Why is it a deer not a crow?
"He is a deer because malicious intent is always masked by an innocent exterior," says Zak. Understanding washes over you and you think, that's why in scary movies evil spirits hide in dolls.
In the crowd, you see the next deity who plans to introduce himself. He sort of ambles his way towards you with a dazed drunk look in his eye. Who is this bum? He looks like a man in a crisis. His gut hangs low and his moobs are falling out of the fabric cloth that seemingly all the gods around you use as clothes.
"I'm uh... Tankertan I run the Progressive. I get really drunk sometimes *burp *, but I do the right thing in the end. I am a god of balance, I help tip the scales in favor of mankind despite its many... many faults," You have lost all respect for this god, like who burps in the middle of their introduction while claiming they may be drunk? "Also my sister is Beamedies," He finishes. You're not sure whether or not he was intentionally in this form to make you hate him or just because he's actually this gross. You feel cheated. Gods are supposed to be ethereal, mystical beings. Not Mr. Beer-belly.
You look back at Afradora accepting the sight of her and her brother Diakai, both of whom seemed much more pleasant than Tankertan. Why isn't the ruler of the in-between realm related to the rulers of the other two?
"Gods come in pairs of twos," Zak explains, "Originally, there were only two realms, which is why you humans thought of heaven and hell. Yet, we realized after sending a few too many souls to the Doomed to rot for the rest of their spiritual existence that mankind was just getting more socially complex.
"So to fix the system the Queen of goddesses, Afradora, herself created the gods Tankertan and Beamedies. Tankertan was supposed to act as a sort of rehabilitator to help mortals clear their past errors, be re-entered into mortal society, and given a chance at redemption to qualify for the realm of Fulfilled. His sister, Beamedies, only had to make sure human society gives a fair chance to those wishing to become a member of the Fulfilled." That is so... weird. You let it sink in.
Zak looks around a bit, then shakes his head, "Nevermind. Let's just go visit the realms." What about the rest of the gods and goddesses?
"They are all pointless. There are like 20 or 30 of them and their all employed in the realms so you can meet them later." Oh... okay.
Doomed
He leads you through the rectangle of light and suddenly everything goes black. You want to scream, but your voice won't work. You feel something slimy wrapping itself around your legs and hear a raspy voice chanting in a language you don't understand. What... What is going on?
A bright flash of red light appears and you can see Zak. He's smiling a malicious smile while holding the red torch. "I work here," he purrs and you want to run, but you're floating next to Zak helplessly. You look down and the slimy thing at your feet is a soul you guess. It has no facial features except for a single mouth full of incisors. The slimy spirit is clenching onto your ankles and it's starting to tingle. Zak stabs it with a sharp claw and it disappears in a cloud of blue smoke.
"Welcome to the Doomed," the voice of Diakai booms.
You can only see a few feet ahead of you and most of what you do see is darkness tinted red with Zaks torch. The ground looks sandy, but it's very cold. It strikes you as an odd combination and as you follow Zak you see things so awful you force yourself to forget. Why did that blue-ish bunny eat the head off that little girl?! "Those are the darklings, they torment mortals by becoming their worst nightmares or things that will scare them. They reside in this realm and play in the mortal realm frequently."
You don't see Diakai anywhere, but three gods walk towards you. The first has scaly deep purple skin with no mouth. The other two looked exactly alike, twins, you think. The gods stride to you with hungry eyes and you start looking around yourself for the rectangle of light, that seemed to have transported you to this hell.
"Meet Lutheran," Zak gestures to the purple scaly guy. "He can't speak so I am his communicator. He says, 'I am the god of hate and war, many dead warlords and dictators end up under my torture. Just because you may not be aware, when a spirit goes here, to the doomed, they are placed through several types of torment. The Doomed works in a manner similar to the mortal book Dante's Inferno, but if a soul can't stand against the torment it becomes week. The 5 weakest souls at the end of each 24 mortal hours are eternally destroyed.'" Woah... You'd never read Dante's Inferno, but you figure it is truly awful.
The twins behind Lutheran introduce themselves as Orthrus and Cerberus both of them have dog heads, but herculean bodies. They seem to act as the police force of the Doomed. "We are the gods that end the spiritual existence of the weak souls and manage the darklings," they growl in unison. You wonder when you can leave and thankfully Zak leads you back to the rectangular light portal. As you go through, you feel as if a heavy weight has settled in you.
The Progressive
When you open your eyes again you are brought to what you guess is the Progressive. Everything is in black and white like a vintage camera. It looks like mortal society, but the structures are ancient. There are columns holding up the structures and there are many places that resemble log cabins or brick apartments. It's like ancient Greece, wild Alaska, and industrial America collided. You find Zak and he too has been leeched of color. All around you spirits mosey into the buildings. You observe the lighter pigmented ones move faster and just have positive energy.
Some of the spirits are super dark and they move slower than the snails on Earth. As they head into the buildings some become lighter, but the others become more black in shade. You watch one of the spirits and it is so black it seems to be a shadow. All of a sudden it disintegrates. Where did it go?! "It went to Doomed because it gave up hope for reincarnation," Tankertan wobbles next to you. How did he know what I was thinking?
"Your face told us everything," Zak says. Oh...
"Welcome to the Progressive. Those who lead mediocre lives or made one good sacrifice tend to make it into here for redemption. Many youths end up in this realm because they didn't have time to shape who they'd be. So pre-mature deaths that weren't self-inflicted make it into here," Tankertan says.
Wait, so if someone were to kill him/herself, he/she would go to the Doomed no matter what? Why? That's not fair! "It's not fair, but the law was created long ago and that's how the Doomed gets many of their numbers," Zak says. It's not like they're broken! They are loved, but just can't see it! It's not their fault! "It is though. It is considered self-centered when someone kills him/herself because the emotional brute of the death falls upon family and friends. It can even leave a lot of damage. On top of that, they can try to seek out emotional help to not feel that way. So Diakai has argued they must go to doomed." That's terrible! "I know..." Zak looks truly sad and you realize that just because they are gods doesn't mean they aren't subject to imperfection.
So... You try desperately to get the dark thoughts out of your head. The Progressive gives souls the chance to reincarnate? "Yes, here the spirits are put through many trials to test their eligibility for returning to the mortal realm. When the mortal realm needs another life it is chosen from the top three brightest souls in Progressive. Yet, as you witnessed if the soul doesn't succeed or feel like trying it is sent to Doomed. Unfortunately, no spirit in Doomed can go to the Progressive," Zak says. Tankertan beside you nods in agreeance.
That's still depressing. "Yeah, well maybe that will make the Fulfilled look so much more appealing," Zak looks at you with meaning. You look around you and the bright spirits don't seem all that bad. "Also, fun fact, when the Earth needs another spirit and there aren't enough in Progressive, Beamedies uses the recycled souls from Doomed to patch together a new spirit. It won't have any of the past lives others in Progressive has so that soul is a clean slate," Interesting... you think.
"I think, you've gotten the idea," Zak says. Wait what about the other gods in Progressive? "There aren't any, as I said the Progressive was fairly new. So the sole proprietor is Tankertan," Oh...
He leads you away from the black and white world and you wonder what the trials are like. They can't be easy, but are they things like decisions or are they physical trials like dangerous labyrinths? You entertain yourself with thoughts of mice running a maze, up until it makes you sick. Humans are better than mice. "Are you sure?" Zak asks as he leads you through the rectangular portal.
The Fulfilled
This time when you go through the portal you feel as if your being bathed in pure happiness; you feel warm inside and kinda fuzzy. You feel as if you've been wrapped in the softest blanket and your heart is soaring. It's a dizzying, comforting feeling that you think, easily could be the best you've ever felt. You don't feel the pain that has been ingrained in your muscles from strenuous years of Earth labor. You feel... new.
When you look over at Zak, he's been revived with color. In fact, every color that makes up his persona has been amplified. It seems so bright, but somehow the mix of vibrant green and deep purple cloth seem to soothe your eyes. Like a type of brilliance you didn't know you needed. How?
"Welcome to the Fulfilled," Afradora's voice doesn't boom it whispers. Her voice is soft and inviting she sounds so familiar. Her voice sounds like the voice of every one of my loved whispering in harmony with adoration in their voices. It's so weird and pleasant at the same time.
I look around in the Fulfilled and there are colorful spirits everywhere. Some are singing together, some are singing alone, some are reading, some are enacting scenes, some are kissing, some are dancing, some are playing instruments, and so much more. It's chaos... it's cacophony... it's perfection. These spirits dress and look however they wish. Some look like animals, others look like they may have at 18 or 21, all of them have faces and choice. Something you didn't see in the other realms.
And just as Zak had been, every spirit is bathed in glorious colors. You get curious and look at the sky to see what the sky of heaven would look like. There are fluffy clouds and spirits all above you. You don't recognize any of these spirits, but just watching them do as they please makes you feel as if they're all your long-lost family. You know you're smiling and you know you'd do anything to be back here again. To feel this way again.
Zak looks to you and says, "It's really nice ain't it?" You look at him dumbstruck, nice is such an understatement. There is no word that could quite describe the Fulfilled in its entirety. "I knew you'd think that," He gazed at the joy around him and turns back to you, "imagine nobody ever getting into this place again." Your heart begins to sink as you remember that at this moment you're qualified for doom and would never have made it to see this place.
"I am Amorran, the god of physical love and childbirth," A man in all pink looks at you with hope and bows. Next to him appears a young looking girl. She looks no older than ten and smiles at you.
"That is my sister, Jordana," Zak says, "She is the goddess of growth and agriculture." You look awed and can't believe that the two are related. What is your real name? you wonder at Zak. Zak laughs then shakes his head, meaning you're not going to get an answer.
You see two more goddesses, but Zak leads you away and toward the white rectangle. Wait! You want to meet them! Where are you going now? Wait! You don't want to leave yet! "The other goddesses aren't relevant," he says, "I'm taking you to Beamedies to send you back to your body. You'll remember this entire encounter as a dream. Take this as a warning,"
Going Back
After going through the white rectangular portal once more all your pain rushes back and you feel as if you were hit by a bus. Your breaths come out shallow and Zak rushes you to a woman with black hair and brown skin. She smiles a gorgeous smile and lays you down in the position you were in when you arrived. Wait, you don't want to leave! You try to say as much, but you still can't speak.
"Blake, do your best to make the lives around you that much better. Think before you speak and act. And remember, no ones perfect," Beamedies says all this with sadness. You realize that she's the only person who's called you by name since you got here. It strikes you as weird and it feels wrong. Blake isn't your name is it? No, it should be something lamer... right?
She touches your forehead and your eyes involuntarily close. You feel as if you were pushed underwater and the last thing you hear before you black out is the voice of Zak. You can hear the smile in his voice as he says, "Tell the Earthlings, Hermes says 'Hello'." Hermes the... messenger... of... cours...
. . .
You wake up in a white room on an uncomfortable bed. There's a machine next to you that beats a familiar rhythm. There are wires connected to your head and tubing coming from your arm. The blanket on top of you is paper-thin and you have an awful headache. You inspect your arms closer and find many bandages and bruises. What happened?
A nurse walks in and you find out you were in a bad car accident. You apparently drunkenly drove your car into a church and have been in a coma for two weeks. When she leaves to get you medicine for your head you remember strange things that you dreamed. Hermes? Afradora? Yeah, right! It must have been a fever dream.
The longer you wait, the more you begin to question the dream. It was vivid... It felt real. Maybe it wasn't a dream...
ns 15.158.10.210da2
