About a year or two ago, something changed. I became extremely moody, for no apparent reason. One day everything would be peachy, fun, and exciting. I felt like I could do anything. The next day, I would be so depressed that I couldn't get up in the morning. Living became too difficult, and there were times where I almost gave up. And then the week after that, I would be so excited about life, and loud about it too. I would constantly do something to annoy my friends and it didn't help I didn't know when to stop. I felt weird and alone, and like there was something completely wrong with me.
Thankfully, I have an amazing mother who noticed something was wrong. We talked to a doctor, and after a little while of figuring things out: I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I felt scared. But at the same time, I felt like it wasn't completely my fault I was like this. There was something up with my brain and we could finally try and fix it. I got on a few meds, and everything was good. Well, not everything. I hated taking them.
I felt good that we could finally find something that would help. But medication was not what I wanted. Maybe some meditation? A better sleep schedule? But not medication. Medication meant there was something wrong with you. I did not want to feel like a freak. And so I didn't take it. I started taking them, for about a week, then days went by, and I felt perfectly fine, great even. And then suddenly I went downhill. Farther than I've ever gone. I started cutting and even got so close as to nearly committing suicide. It was a really terrifying thing, and luckily I stopped myself before I took the pills. But it was the scariest thing to ever happen to me and my family. It was after that that I started taking my medication. I wasn't the most religious, but I never got as low as I did before.
Now, I've never been better about taking my medication. I'm still not perfect, but who is? I feel better than I ever have, and isn't that what's important?
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