Since we were prisoners from Versailles, I have experienced so many bad things. My family was locked up and we lost all our land and titles. Then I was moved to the Simon couple, where they forced me to dress as a girl, swear and sing nasty songs. The worse was they wanted me to say bad things about my parents. This was all to show that I was a good Republican.
I did not want to be the king. I knew that all of Europe considered me as the king. But kings like my father got killed. I figured let France have their republic. I loved the country and the French people, but I did not have the love of them. If I was just alone, I could do something in France that I liked. I could live like any other person.
I did not know that my mother was executed. I thought she was alive. I did not know that a reign of terror had just started in France, where so many aristocrats were being sent to the guillotines. In the end, nearly 17.000 people would have been executed and many more would have died in prison. These included aristocrats, clergy, children and my parents.
I had problems myself.
Being thrown in the cell meant the nightmare of my life had just started.
The guards threw me in and the big door was closed locking me in. There was no furniture except a small cot. I sat on the cot and looked around. The floor was stone and the walls were stone. High up was a window that was boarded up and only allowed a small bit of light in the room.
It was so dark and I was alone for the first time in my life. I was always with someone. They were nice or mean, but being alone was new and I could not bear it. The first few days was myself sitting in a corner singing sings and mostly crying. My head hurt so much because I cried and I could not properly see things. Every noise there was made my heart leap and scared me. I had no one to tell me not to be afraid or no shoulder to lay on.
The cell also had so many rats and insects. The rats would roam about and not care about me. Sometimes I would scream when I woke up and some rat would be on my bed. I was so afraid of them that I would sit and shiver knowing they were all around me. The insects were just as bad. They would bite me and after some time my body was covered with insect bites and scabs because I itched so much. The rats and insects were the only company I had, Yet they were not friends. They were a reminder that I was locked in a cell as if I was an animal!
For months I never saw a human being. The guards would push some food under the door once a day and not say a word. Sometimes they would open a latch in the door to see if I was alive. There would be a few slices of dry bread and a glass of water. This meant that I was hungry all day and would moan and groan because of hunger and thirst.
I do not know how long I was in this cell. It seemed as if months went by. I was in constant pain from hunger and constant fear. My clothes were so dirty and small, as my body was growing. I tried cutting them to allow my body to fit in them. Looking back, I should just have taken them off as the unhygienic and dirt just caused my skin to become worse and indeed my health. Loneliness was the worse. I missed my mother and sister so much. I even missed when Mr. Simon humiliated me or hit me. I tried to survive by remembering the times I had with my family. I would even pretend that I was speaking with them.
The dirt and filth were inhumane. There was no toilet in the cell so I had to use the corner as a toilet. This meant that the cell was so dirty and foul. I had no fresh air and the rats spread the waste from my body all over the room. After a month or two, I just sat in my cot and refused to leave it, only to get food.
I became weak and sick. My bones ached. I had headaches. I was skin and bones and yet some parts of my body were swollen. I no longer had the strength to sit up so I just laid in the cot all the time. I was certain that I would die. I did my best to survive, as I knew that momma would be devasted if I died.
I must have been going insane, as I started talking to myself. I even hear mommas voice comforting me and telling me that she was with me, and everything would be fine.
One day, the government official came and demanded that the cell be opened. This was the first time that I have seen a human being in months. This man most likely has seen the worse of humankind in the revolution, but my cell made him upset.
“This boy is living like an animal” he shouted. “Look at the cell! It is infested with rats. He has obviously not eaten in days, as the rats have been eating his food. There are dirt and excrement everywhere. Look at the boy! His clothes look so small they are digging in his skin. He is skin and bones and looks like he is on the doorsteps of death! This boy is so filthy and smells like a pig”
The government man tried to speak with me, but I refused to answer him. I was so weak that I could only mutter a word or two if I did want to speak with him. I no longer trusted anyone. When I was with the Simon couple, I did everything they wished. I tried being a good boy. I tried to please the revolutionaries. I drank, I cursed and I sang their vulgar songs. I even denounced my family and called my mother a whore. The reward was being locked in this cell. It was obvious that I would always be the Dauphin to them and I could never please them.
The guards were ordered to clean the room. They brushed and scrubbed everything. The window was now open so light and fresh air came in. They even used cyanide to get rid of the rats. Proper food was given to me as well as a set of new clothes. I was forced to take a bath every day. This was something my infected skin did not like and I did not have the energy to do.
The problem was that I was so sick that the cleaning did not help. I just laid in bed and suffered from pain in every corner of my body. The guards would come into my cell now and talk to me. Despite I was sick, I refused to speak with them. I did like it when they came in as I was not lonely. However I no longer trusted anyone, so I did not speak back to them. They just sat there and talked to me and after a while gave up and left.
The doctor came once and said that I was very sick. I heard him whisper to the guard that he did not think that I had a lot of time left. The guard said that meant only the sister would have survived. This confused me. Why did he say only my sister survived. Was she released? I was so so confused. Why did they not mention my mother? Where was she? I was so sick that I thought that I did not hear right.
One thing that I did understand was that I was dying. I even heard momma's voice telling me to have hope, be strong and not give up. I did not want to give up, but my body was full of sores, my limbs were swollen and my skin had a strange color. The revolutionaries were slowly killing me.
One night, I heard the door open. I knew it was at nighttime. Where I usually was alone and afraid because it was so dark. Mrs. Simon knelt down beside me while someone was telling her to hurry. I tried opening my eyes but could not open so long. Mrs. Simon was asking me if I could stand up, I asked her to let me just die. She was married to a man that used to torture me and cause me so much emotional and physical pain. I whispered again asking her to go and let me die.
The man picked me up and led me out of the cell. To be honest, I thought they would be taking me to the guillotine just like my father was. I was not afraid. Dying would mean that I would be in heaven with my dad and there would be no pain. The revolutionaries could not harm me more than what they already have done.
The man whispered to Mrs, Simon that I was as light as a feather. I could not keep my eyes open. I opened them twice. The first time I could see we were going through the hallways. I could see mommas door and whimpered that I wanted to see momma. The man told me to be silent. I closed my eyes and opened them once again when I was in a carriage. Now I was confused. What was happening to me?
When I woke up again, I was laying in the most comfortable bed with the best blankets and the nicest pillow. I could not get up or even speak as I was so much in pain and my mind was in turmoil. I looked around and I could see that I was in a room like the one I had in Versailles. I was so confused as to why I was there. Why did they remove me from the dark cell?
I spent some days sleeping and waking up. There was a lady taking care of me when I woke up or a doctor examining me. I was a bit surprised when they called me “majesty” but did not have the strength to ask what was happening. I heard the doctor tell the others standing around me that I should not be moved. He told me that animals were treated better than me and he did not expect me to survive. I would drift back to sleep and pray that God would allow me into heaven.
At one stage Miss Simone was by my bed. She had tears in her eyes as she told me that her job was now done and she had to get back to her life. “I am sorry for what I and my husband has done to you!” She told me over. She also told me if her husband knew that she helped me escape, he would have her executed. She walked out the door for the last time.
All this made me so confused. I was in a nice bedroom and the soup I was fed tasted so nice. At the same time, my body had given up and I could not speak or move. Sometimes I felt so warm that I sweat so bad. Other times I would be freezing where my bones would ache a lot more. I still did not understand why people were suddenly calling me “majesty”
At one stage I heard my mother's voice, “ Do not be afraid. You are safe now. Do not give up! Have courage and hope and remember that I love you.”
A week went by and I could sit up in the bed. I was too weak to say anything but I recognized the man that carried me. It was Axel von Fersen, the man that people said was my real dad and the man that tried to help my family escape before. Now I was very confused.
Von Fersen sat at the side of my bed and told me that it was nice that I was getting some strength back, although there was still a long way to go. I managed to ask him where I was...
“ You are at a friend's house,” he said. “ We have helped you escape from the prison. It was no easy thing to do. Lucky for us Mrs. Simon helped us. She felt bad about the way you were treated. They have treated you so bad, you are very sick and I think you must be traumatized.”
I did not understand much. I asked where my mother was. Von Fersen did not answer but said that they had to get me out of France as everyone was looking for me. He told me that this would be very difficult, but they had a plan that would get me out of France. It was a crazy plan, and he hoped I would agree.
He explained to me that everyone was looking for a boy. So their idea was to dress me as a girl, and he would disguise himself as an English Lord. I would be his daughter that became sick in Paris, and he wanted to take me to London. He looked at me and asked me did I mind dressing as a girl?
I nodded and told him that I was a girl for the Simons. I would do anything to get as far away from France as I could. He told me that we had to leave soon, as they were searching in every home.
So I was dressed in a petticoat and my hair was curled. I looked in the mirror and I looked like a girl once more. It was time to go. It was time to leave France.
I was carried out to the coach. I could not walk yet. I was still so sick and in pain. In fact, the doctor did not want me to leave as he said traveling could kill me. I told them that I would be killed if I stayed in Paris much longer,
I leaned against Von Fersen as our carriage went out of Paris. I remembered the first time I saw Paris many years before. The people looked poor and the town looked so dirty and poor. The revolution did not change anything. I closed my eyes as this excitement was too much for my body.
I opened my eyes when we were at the gate. The guard stopped us and asked us for papers. He accepted that we had false papers. Then someone from the revolution told the guard to wait, as they suspected the Dauphin was in this coach. Von Fersen held my hand tight as we thought that this would be the end.
When I saw it was Mr. Simon, the man that abused and tortured me for months, I felt as if I would cry. I would be captured once again and forced back to the dark cell. Mr. Simon smiled which did not help things. He rubbed my cheek and told me that he hoped I had a good journey. Then he told the guards to let us pass.
When we were out of Paris, I told Von Ferson who Mr. Simon was and I was certain that he recognized me. Why did he let us go? Von Ferson smiled and said we would never know but some people were tired of the terror in France, where thousands were killed or imprisoned.
I do not remember much about leaving France or sailing. I slept most of the way as I could not stay awake. Von Fersen was afraid that my health was becoming worse and worse. He noticed that I shed a tear as we boarded a ship to leave France. I told him that despite how I and my family were treated, I loved France and its people.
The journey across the sea was hard. There was no storm and the water was quite calm. However, I felt sicker. I could not eat or drink. At one stage I was certain I would die and closed my eyes.
When I woke up, I was in a bed again with a rich woman wiping my forehead. She smiled down at me as she spoke in English,
“ You are safe now, your majesty,” She said., “You are now in Ireland under the protection of Lord Doneraile. You will be safe here.”
To be continued560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7UWkveVee
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