I wish I’d been born a boy.
My mother and her maids spent my whole childhood trying to make me into a ‘proper’ princess. My wardrobe is full of silks and satins, I have a whole room full of jewellery and every day my personal make-up lady and hairdresser come first thing in the morning to make sure I look good enough to face the day. It’s been going on since I was five!
By the evening meal I had usually managed to completely destroy the effect by playing where I shouldn’t or fighting with boys from the village. I like fighting. Princes fight, princesses not so much.
At eighteen I seduced Igor, the castle weapons master, completely cold-bloodedly, and blackmailed him into teaching me how to use weapons to fight. It wasn’t a nice thing to do. It wasn’t fair on him, and I found the whole thing uncomfortable and more than a little messy but the results were worth it. I knew I could fight off any suitors I didn’t fancy. Mother and father were already introducing hopeful princes to me, but I just wasn’t interested in any of them. They were all so boring. When we were left alone they just wanted to talk about their families and how rich they were. None of them appeared to be interested in fights and warfare. I’m afraid I behaved abysmally just to put them off.
I didn’t like my brother, Corwin but at least he knew how to fight, since apparently he was destined to fight a dragon and rescue a princess from her tower by giving her a lover’s kiss. Dad made sure he had fighting lessons. He couldn’t fight as well as me though! In the week before he was to leave I got more and more angry. My family, and the staff, tried to soothe me down, making me even angrier. It wasn’t unusual for me to get angry, but this time even I didn’t know what was causing my temper.
Corwin set out on a big white charger with a jewelled sword looking the epitome of a prince out on a quest. Watching him showed me what I really wanted to do – set out on a quest of my own. I ran to my room and packed a bag. Nothing too grand, I wanted to be able to pass as a ‘normal’ girl. I put on a pair of trousers that I had secreted in one of my rooms to make horse riding easier. I wasn’t going to do what so many stories tell about, and dress as a man to go on a life of adventure. I saw no reason to hide my womanly shape.
Until I left the castle I didn’t really know where I was headed, but found myself on the track that Corwin would have followed. Then I knew where to go. Corwin wasn’t the only one who could kill a dragon. He had probably galloped by on his charger to impress the ladies, but my horse was smaller, more comfortable. I followed him at a steady trot, knowing nobody would notice me.
Three days later I was approaching the castle. A thin very high tower was the only piece of it that could be seen over the thick thorny hedge. From behind it I could hear the dragon roaring. Corwin’s path was obvious. He had never been one for subtlety, and had hacked a path through the hedge straight to the castle’s door. The dragon was concentrating on something at its feet but it looked up when I gasped in shock. That was no animal it was tearing into pieces, it was human. It had to be Corwin. I ducked back into the hedge, gaining several scratches from its thorns. The dragon shook its head and went back to its meal. Through my shock at Corwin’s horrible death I realised that the princess was now stuck in her tower. Somebody had to rescue her and I was the only person left. I swallowed my grief and pulled out my sword.
I used every scrap of stealth I had to work my way past the dragon, and was successful until I reached the door clasp. It gave a horrendously noisy crack, catching the dragon’s attention. I was going to have to fight it after all. I blessed Igor for every lesson he had given me as I fought. I caught some nasty burns on my arms, but eventually the dragon ended up with my sword in his heart. Panic gripped me and I ran up the stairs as fast as I could in case it wasn’t dead. The staircase was granite, dark and steep. Eventually the adrenaline died away and I collapsed in a heap on one of the steps and indulged in a fit of shakes, crying as I mourned my brother.
My mind returned to sanity. I had killed the dragon, but how could I rescue the princess? Did it have to be her true lover’s kiss, or could just anyone do it? Did it have to be a prince? Now that the dragon was dead should I bring a prince here? I didn’t know, and it bothered me. I like to feel that I know everything.
After my meltdown I wiped my eyes and decided to examine the problem more closely. I resumed my climb up the stairs. The room at the top wasn’t large, and it was very dusty. The princess was lying on the bed looking just as beautiful as the legend had told. Seeing her took away the little bit of breath I had left after climbing the stairs. I decided to try a peck on her cheek, just to see if it did anything. Nothing happened at first, but then I noticed that her cheeks looked more rosy and she was starting to move. Her mouth turned down into a frown before she opened her eyes.
‘Where’s the prince?’ she asked me, confused.
‘I’m sorry, he died on the way. I kissed you.’
The frown was replaced with a smile. I gasped at the force of it.
‘Thank you! Thank you so much. I never wanted to marry a prince. You look just like the lover I had in my dreams, but I didn’t think it was possible.’
‘I guess we can’t marry.’
She grinned.
‘But we can live happily ever after, can’t we.’
She leaned over and kissed me. It wasn’t hard to kiss her back and very quickly we were snogging heartily. Nice girls don’t kiss and tell, so I am going to give no more details about that night. It is sufficient to say that we lived happily ever after, or as close to it as real people ever do.
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