1
Christmas Eve was always better than the holiday it preceded. It was always calm and cozy. The stillness put Eli in the mood to draw. However, this Christmas Eve would be different without–
Thomas shouted from downstairs, “Eli! It’s six!” and Eli dropped his sketching pen back onto his desk. He didn’t have to shout!. It felt like a giant embarrassing bat signal in the sky every time Thomas shouted the time.
“Coming!” Eli shouted back. He tucked his chair back into the desk and as he did, something from out the window caught his attention. There was a second car in the driveway with its cab light on. Eli leaned over his desk a bit to see better. Thomas’s dinner guests were here.
At the bottom of the stairs, Sarah could be seen moving around the kitchen, pulling silverware from the cabinets to set the table. Thomas, meanwhile, was pouring a glass of juice for his son. “I told you you’d look good in that shirt,” he said and Eli ignored the comment. The grey dress shirt was Thomas’s, so it felt just a little too big for him. Not to mention he was forced to wear it. It was the only formal thing around his size besides his funeral clothes. Thomas opted for a blazer and Sarah was wearing a sort of dress thing. It seemed the overall dressing up of the family was less for the occasion and more for maintaining an image.
Eli stood beside his father, watching his sister out in the dinning room adjusting the placement of the mashed potatoes on the table. Thomas took the familiar vile from the medicine cupboard, it seemed all the normal painkillers in the house were now replaced with meds that had Eli’s name on them.
“Alright,” Thomas said, “evening dosage with a cup of Sunny D.” He held both out to Eli and both father and son smirked.
“I prefer Kool-Aid,” Eli said taking the pill and tossing it far back in his mouth, skipping the tongue to avoid any taste of the chalky exterior. He took the juice and forced it down.
“That’s a little dark,” Thomas said. Eli just kept sipping, looking across to his sister. Sarah, rolled her eyes at his joke. The doorbell rang. “They’re here.”
Thomas quickly answered and all together the adults greeted each other with “Merry Christmases” and “How’ve you beens”. The only person who stood out was Jean. Her father had his hands on her shoulders as she shook Thomas’s hand. She said something that Eli couldn’t quite make out and then his father said, “Please, just Thomas,” and everyone laughed. When you’re first name is the same as your last, you have to be able to joke about it. It made Eli feel grateful that he wasn’t to become Thomas Thomas Jr.
Jean: bleached blonde hair, a Christmas sweater that actually looked cute, and a smile that made him wonder why he ever stopped hanging out with her. She hugged Sarah and they joked about her sweater until her eyes found Eli, still leaning against the kitchen counter, cup of Sunny D in hand.
“Eli? Is that you? Oh my God! You got so tall,” she said coming around and forced him into a hug. He would have made a comment about how she sounded like a great aunt, but he couldn’t help but think about how soft she felt. Turns out the Christmas sweater was more expensive than it looked. His hand grazed against the protrusion from under her sweater that was her bra.
“Yeah, he just shot up over the Summer,” Thomas said before turning back to Jean’s parents, “I got no idea what it is.”
“I think it’s the Kool-Aid,” Sarah said over her shoulder and Jean gave Eli a confused smile.
The Larsons had brought a crumble–whatever that was–along with a white wine that Eli was much more interested in. Jean seemed to stick to Sarah during the pre-dinner conversations so Eli wandered into the living room to sit in his dad’s recliner in the glow of the Christmas Tree. He had been the tie breaker between white or multi-colored string lights. He sided with colored just to get them out of the damn Rite-Aid.
Eli closed his eyes. As much as things seemed to be moving forward and picking up pace, they had a dirty feel to them that left Eli tired and taking naps to avoid being awake. Thomas would say it’s a side effect of the medication, but Eli knew better; he had looked it up already.
“Hey,” a soft voice from above pulled him from his dozing. It was Jean. She was upside-down from his perspective as she leaned over the back of the chair. “Is six your bedtime?”
“Huh?” Eli rubbed his eyes and leaned forward, pulling the back of the chair up sharply. Jean pulled away to avoid it and Eli said sorry.
Jean led the way back to the dinning room where everyone was already sitting. The bottle of champagne was opened and sitting between the large silver tray of sea-bass and the veggies. A glass was poured for everyone except Eli.
“Dozing off?” Thomas asked.
“No,” Eli said sitting. Jean, taking the seat across from him, gave him a look. She didn’t say anything.
“I just wanted to say thanks for coming,” Thomas said.
“Oh, we were coming whether you liked it or not,” Jean’s father said. Looking at him two chairs down, he seemed like one of those guys in the diabetes commercials, standing by a mantle piece or polishing his gun. He was like a bear. And his wife, Jean’s mom was so old fashioned looking he was wondering how the babies were switched. “We’re family…”
Eli tuned the rest out. They weren’t family, just friends of his dad. He just wanted to eat, and if he couldn’t soon he’d throw a roll into Bill Larson’s mouth to shut him up. He ended with another doozy of a bad call when he said, “Let’s say grace.”
Thomas was quiet for a moment before making the right call, “That’s very nice, but maybe next year.”
“Of course,” Jean’s mom said. Eli caught a glimpse of Bill, left in an odd confusion before accepting it.
Someone tapped against his foot from under the table. Jean didn’t smile, but it was obviously her. He stretched his leg to find her and tapped back. She smirked.
Everyone started at the food in relative silence, only speaking when passing bowls around and to offer things to each other. Eli loaded up on the fish and the simpler foods, avoiding the crumble or the weird cranberry thing. After eating one roll, he was wanting a drink. Jean sipped her glass of champagne, locking eyes with Eli and then made a slight frown at the taste, putting her glass back down. Eli made a motion for it and she silently nodded. Thank God.
Thomas looked at him to say something, but Eli just said, “Merry Christmas, Dad,” and took a large sip. Jean tried to hide a smile and Sarah said, “Yeah, Merry Christmas, Dad.” It was always good to have a twin. They were just different enough to entertain each other and just the same to be a double force. Jean poked Eli’s foot under the table again, but this time she didn’t look at him. Was she just playing now?
“So,” Thomas started, “are you kids excited to go back to school?”
In unison, Jean and Sarah said, “No.”
“There you have it,” Jean’s mom said.
“How about you, Eli?”
“What?” Eli locked eyes with his father. “No way.”
“I think it’s the right time. Isn’t senior year when all the opportunities happen. Burroughs has great councilors so you can go to college as far away as you want.” The adults laughed, but Eli didn’t. Neither did Sarah or Jean. Why is it that teenagers get things that the old people don’t? It’s like the only source with the right answer has to be tossed aside. Kids know when something’s crap, they know when love is real, and they know exactly what they want. Aren’t those the only things that matter?
“What I want is to finish the year in Independent Study,” Eli said. “I only need two more credits and I’ll get them there.”
“Isn’t he the little diplomat,” Bill said.
“Bill,” Eli said and Bill put down his drink. “I don’t like being talked about like that.”
Bill made a half laugh-half coughing noise before punching back, “Well I hardly meant to offend. It’s important to participate, especially after everything that has happened. School will get your mind off of things.”
“Screw you,” Eli said under his breath and the table went quiet. Staring at his plate, he took a deep breath before looking back up at Bill. “She was my mom. I don’t need to get my mind off of things.” He pushed his chair back and took his glass with him upstairs.
The table stayed silent after Eli left. Thomas sat back in his seat, crossing his arms. “That sucked,” Sarah said.
“I’m sorry,” Thomas said, “it’s been really tough on him.”
“I actually think he’s getting better,” Sarah said and then let out an awkward laugh.
“He’s been on meds to help him, but the side effects make him…irritable.”
“Well, that’s tough,” Bill said.
Sarah got up and walked around to Eli’s empty seat. She reached over the table and started to load up his plate again with what he was eating. “I’m gonna take his plate up to him,” she said, also taking her own glass of champagne with her.
Sarah cursed to herself halfway up the stairs, almost losing a green bean from the plate.
Eli’s door was shut and Sarah was out of hands. She kicked it but that only hurt her foot. “Eli, open up. I got your food.” Eli put a fresh band tee on and unlocked the door when she said, “I got a lot of crap here!”
“Hey,” he said.
“Here,” Sarah handed over the food.
“Thanks.” Eli took it to his drawing desk and Sarah came in. “How pissed is dad?”
“Not very. I’m sorry you had to put Bill in his place.”
“Forget it.”
“Here,” Sarah handed him her glass as he took a seat in his work chair and went at it. “Why didn’t you get a glass anyway?”
“Something with my meds. I’ve been drinking this whole time anyway.”
“Well, I feel great about giving you that,” she said with a sharper tone. “Hey, I think Jean’s sleeping over so you should come down after her parents are gone. We can watch a movie or something.”
“Eh,” Eli swiveled around to face his desk and took up his sketching pen. “Maybe.” Sure, he wanted to, but that familiar scratching in his brain was back. It wasn’t like a headache; it was more like a dam ready to explode.
“Okay,” Sarah said heading for the door.
Eli turned in his chair. “Why is it that I turn out to be the crazy one?!”
“Eli, you’re not crazy.”
“Then why isn’t everyone else feeling like this?”
“Well,” Sarah just stood there, trying to find an answer, “you and mom were close. I don’t know why, but maybe there is no answer. Just…know that it’s okay.”
Eli turned back around to face his desk and listened to his sister leave.
ns 15.158.61.19da2
