Looking at myself in the mirror, there’s not one single positive thing I can think about. I hate it. I hate you. You, who is staring at me with those big sad eyes. Can’t you see you don’t matter? Can’t you see you’re useless?
Come closer, c’mon do it.
I step forward.
Do you see that face? Isn’t it the most ugliest thing you’ve ever seen?
Yes.... I say, tears streaming down my face.
And that body? You’re too skinny, you are disappearing, and no one will care when you are gone.
Stop.... I whisper. Please....
I close my eyes, wishing my thoughts to go away, wishing myself to go away.
Please, leave me alone....
I can’t. Don’t you get it? I am you and you are me, we’re stuck together.... and I’m not going anywhere.
NO. I scream. Please, please.....
I scream until I have no more voice. I scream until all my tears have left me. I fall to the bathroom floor, and stay there for years and eons, but when I look at my phone, only seven minutes have passed.
I take a deep breath and without looking at the mirror, without looking at myself, I leave the bathroom.
Let it go.... I think, walking back to my friends, with a big (fake) smile on my face.
Let it go, move on and pretend it never happened.
Until it happens again...
ns 15.158.61.51da2
