My head started spinning when I heard Joshua's words.
"I- I don't know. . . Alexander do you?"
Alexander was quiet as he stared at the table thinking for a moment.
"I can look into it. . . Joshua you might be onto something here though- because it is odd that the three of them fell and that the only thing they have in common is a blood bond to her"
"But then. . ."
I swallowed as I thought of the very real possibility that he would eventually wake up. . . how would we keep him away? I could try the weapon but there was no guarantee it would work. . . Would all the trust we had built still be there? I still didn't even know what had happened. I only knew on Jason's end what had happened before. . . For some reason Zadicus decided to end their agreement. . . I hadn't even told Rickey that part.
"First, I think there's something you all should know in case he does wake. . ."
I made another pause.
"Jason. . . Jason lied to us."
I was his with a sudden wave of different emotions from everyone around me, anger, disappointment, betrayal and it was making me almost nauseous.
"Luna what do you mean by that. . ." Jarred spoke first.
"Jason was reporting back to him about me. . . like a spy-"
"There's no way that could be right-" Jarred interrupted.
"Are you sure you read the letter right?" Rickey interrupted now and suddenly everyone was talking over each other.
"Can we see the letter?" Alexander asked.
I took glances of everyone as they burst with questions. Then there was Joshua. . . who was suddenly quiet and he locked his eyes with mine something in his face told me not to say anything else.
"That won't be necessary Alexander."
He spoke up and looked away from me looking at Alexander now.
"Oh? And why not?"
"I was one of the people sworn in to know about it."
"Joshua you better get to fucking talking before I kill you my damn self"
Jarred growled.
"We fucking trusted you and you're telling us that you betrayed everyone!" Rickey shouted.
Joshua shook his head.
"I understand you are upset, but we were sworn under blood oath. . . he however thankfully might I add- made a loophole that in the event of his death it would cancel out."
Joshua sighed and sat at the other end of the head of the table.
"He told us he would be doing this for him- I will admit it was very vague. He requested that we didn't follow and to not speak of it. Luna was safe and that was all that mattered to him. . . we had no idea of it's details- maybe Luna does, but. . ."
Everyone's emotions started to relax more.
"The letter was vague, it just said that he was to tell him about me just basics I guess- and some bidding for him whatever that means. . ."
I didn't feel like I had enough information, but better they find out now then when he wakes up. . . Jarred was silent now, staring at the table as I watched his hand flex in a fist and I could hear his teeth grinding. He was upset. With who I wasn't quite sure. . .
"What didn't you do for him. . ." he muttered quietly.
I looked over to Rickey now who was focused on Jarred. I was sure that Rickey had seen him in many more intense situation than I had. Maybe he knew something about how he was feeling more than I do.
What's wrong?
I whispered to him in his head.
He's figuring out who needs to be punished most for this. Though judging how long that's taking. . . he blames himself most. Why I couldn't tell you.
203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JSwIwwTX
He responded, but he made sure not to look in my direction.
Alexander cleared his throat.
"I think it was helpful that Luna told us this, because if we heard it all from him first I think our reactions would be very different. . . do we like what we know? Even though it is very little- no."
"But he was our King. Most of all- no offense to anyone else at this table, but he loved Luna far too much to be doing it to harm her so we have to assume at least that was true" Joshua reminded.
"I'll confirm that. . ." Rickey spoke softly finally looking away from Jarred.
Jarred laughed and he shook his head. It wasn't a happy laugh though. . .
"The bastard is in a comatose locked away and he's still ruining our lives"
"Jarred-"
Jarred stopped Rickey with a low growl as he glared at him and Rickey shook his head.
"Don't fucking growl at me you asshole, I'm sorry your brother died, I'm sorry he wasn't as perfect as you thought now, but you need to pull your head out of your ass and remember that he was also a King, and husband and a partner to everyone else in this room"
Rickey's eyes didn't shift dark. Which surprised me, he seemed as calm as ever as he spoke.
"Only we need to know the truth Jarred. . . no one else will tarnish that memory or image he had. . ." I reminded him.
He nodded after a moment.
"I'm going over to Jeff's tonight and finishing my speech."
Jarred got up and headed for the door.
"Have whoever follow me, I'll be there all night"
He shut the door.
"I'll go. . ." Joshua muttered getting up.
"Joshua-"
"No Alexander, you forget him and I have a past together- and that's pretty fucked up right now I have to fix it. I'll take Matthew" Joshua cut Alexander off and quickly ran out the room following Jarred.
"Rickey. . . Do I need to be concerned about any of Jarred's possible future actions. . ." Alexander asked with a sigh.
Rickey shook his head.
"No. He'll probably just go to my place. . . maybe do some drugs or drink have sex with my brother maybe talk with Joshua"
"Maybe?" I looked at Rickey confused now.
"He can be. . . very paranoid at times. . . if he feels like he has lost some trust in him he'll probably just detach himself."
"We should all head to our rooms and rest for the night- well you two anyway."
Alexander changed the subject.
"Sounds good to me"
I got up before he could change his mind.
☾☾☾
I grabbed my phone charger from the nightstand and headed for the door to go to my room.
"Where are you going?" Rickey stopped what he was doing to look at me.
"I wanna sleep in my room tonight. . . I hate what happened downstairs and not staying in the room feels like a bigger slap in the face to him. . . so I'm going to spend the night in there"
He sat there for a moment clearly unsure what to say for a moment.
"Do you. . . want company?" he asked carefully.
I shrugged.
"I. . . I don't know what I want"
He nodded.
"I understand. . ."
I turned back around on my heels and grabbed the doorknob but paused.
"Will you be okay alone tonight?. . ." I looked back at him.
He gave me a small smile and nodded.
"Do what you need to do."
A feeling of relief washed over me erasing the guilt I was starting to feel as I walked out of the room and over to mine. I felt guilty because I knew I wasn't the only one who had lost him. . . Maybe some part of me needed this alone night in here. . . to accept somewhat of what had happened so I didn't completely break down tomorrow.
I tossed my charger on the bed and looked around the room. Haunting voices of the memories flooded before my eyes again of laughter, silly small talk, cries of pleasure and even some anger. . . I shook my head shaking it off and went to the walk in closet and went to Jason's side.
His clothes were all still there. . . nothing moved. . . nothing touched.
What would I do with them now? Donate them? Give them to Rickey or Jarred? Whoever wanted them?
"We can worry about that later. . ." I reminded myself.
I reached for one of his favorite white button up shirts. The soft fabric feeling light as air between my fingers. It all still smelled like him . . . maybe it was because he'd spray his clothes with cologne, maybe it was just the detergent or my own delusion. . .
I gently took it off the hanger and tucked it under my arm and went back to the bedroom laying in the giant bed as I curled up holding his shirt.
"I'm so sorry. . . I'm sorry people are so upset, is that what you wanted? Why did you tell me. . . why did you put Joshua in such a position?" I murmured into the fabric taking a breath of air of the smell as I closed my eyes feeling the tears prick my eyes.
"None of this is making sense. . . it's all getting mixed and confused the more I learn. . ."
I felt the tears roll down my face as I curled up in a tighter ball as I tried to drift myself to sleep.
☾☾☾
"Luna. . . Love, we gotta get ready" I heard Rickey's whispers and the darkness lifted and my eyes fluttered open.
"Why are you in here? Where's Alexander?" I sat up rubbing my eyes.
God they burned. . .
"After lastnight I thought it was best if I come in when you didn't answer your phone. . . it was off so I figured you didn't plug it in, I'm so-"
I shook my head.
"I'm not mad- just wanted to make sure"
He looked down at my hands that were still clutching Jason's shirt against me.
"Everything okay? I wanted so badly to come in lastnight. . . when you didn't answer me I thought it was because you wanted space still I'm sorry. . ."
I placed the shirt beside me and got up heading to the bathroom.
"I'm fine. . . just wanted something to sleep with"
"Okay well, Jarred said wear the white and silver jeweled dress?"
I rinsed off my face making notes of what he was saying to me.
"What are you supposed to wear?" I asked patting my face as I look in the mirror.
"Normal funeral clothes, you're the only one with a special dress code"
I shook my head.
Of course Jason would make me stand out even worse then I would today. . . White and silver? I was shocked when Alexander had it cleaned so well I could hardly tell it ever had blood covering it. Or maybe he had replaced it. . .
"Okay, anything else I need to know?"
I saw him walk through the bathroom door as I looked in the mirror putting on my makeup.
"Nope."
"I'm sorry for leaving like that last night. . . If I hurt your feelings I promise that was never my intent"
I admitted stopping for a moment to turn around.
He shook his head.
"No I think we both deep down needed that. . . we had our own demons with the situation and neither of us felt like we knew how to explain it to each other yet you know? I know you love me, and you know I love you. As long as it's that way then there's nothing to be sorry for" he reassured me.
I smiled.
"You say you don't know what to say. . . but so many times like now you do"
He smiled back and came over placing a quick kiss on my lips.
"I know, if it's okay with you I'll be in my room writing this thing still. . . I want to fix some things- I plugged your phone in just mind link me if you need me okay?"
I nodded.
He was gone before I could say another word and I quickly finished my makeup and headed to the closet and searched for the right dress. Why did he want that one? Seemed so strange to me, and it wasn't even black.
After walking around what felt like forever I found it and slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror.
"I love the dresses we get I just feel like I never have another time to wear them other than the winter ball you know?" I said with a sigh.
A sudden flashback hit me like a sudden wave as I looked in the mirror and remembered when I had first worn this not too long ago. . .
"You look amazing, and fine how about you wear it to my funeral?" Jason laughed wrapping his hands around my waist from behind as he looked at me in the mirror.
I slapped his shoulder playfully.
"Don't be so morbid!"
The memory faded and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
☾☾☾
"You ready?" Jarred looked at me as he took my hand as we stared at the big black french doors that led out to the backyard.
His hair was neatly brushed and pushed back. He was in a all black three piece suit. Rickey and him matched perfectly and I was the one left feeling like I stuck out like a sore thumb in such a color. . . To top it all off the golden crown that was on top of my head didn't help at all, minus the fact that it was holding the black veil over my face.
I looked up at him.
"I. . . I'm nervous to walk out there like this"
"You want to know why he chose this dress?"
I bit my lip for a moment. Did I? I already had the memory. . . now it made me even more nervous to think about it. As my head dropped down Jarred lifted my chin up.
"He said, he wanted to remind everyone how you were their glowing light still. You are still our Queen, but aside from all that. . . it was the night you two met"
He glanced over his shoulder to Rickey who was behind me.
I turned around so I could look at him and he gave me a small smile before stepping to me taking my hand.
"So. . . as sad as you might be today, remember that memory today."
I nodded.
Jarred held out his arm and I looped mine through it as I slipped one arm into each of theirs as we walked out the doors.
A wave of everyone's emotions suddenly hit me when I lost my focus for a moment as I looked at the hundreds of people that had gathered. . . the yard was decorated with black rose bouquet arrangements with a single white carnation in the middle and Forget Me Nots around the bouquet. I thought of a slow breath as I washed away the other emotions as the piano started to play as we walked down the carpet.
Alexander was at the podium announcing our arrival and I kept my eyes trained on him as we moved down the path. No one made a single whisper. The front row was mainly all higher ups. All the guards were lined up behind Alexander as they held their head down.
Rickey and Jarred's arms dropped from beside me as I took Alexander's place.
"First, I'd like to thank everyone for coming tonight. . . to help us all celebrate Jason's life."
I paused.
"My husband as you know, was a truly amazing and wonderful man. He was also a wonderful mentor, friend, and King, so much more that I didn't want this to drag so much. . . His ability to handle anything that life threw at him was incredible. It's been over half a millennia that I met him, we grew up together, and as many of you know we ran away together"
I swallowed.
"However, before I continue I must confess that it is for that very reason I find us here today. Many of you may have realized that Zadicus is not with us here today. . . and that is because he was the one who murdered my husband. Though I am sure to many of you this does not surprise you. . . I do not know where he is, but we will find him."
I said the end with confidence as I kept my straightened posture and head high.
"That being said I refuse to let such a bitter thing ruin his day. So I want us to remember him in his happiness and not for the sad thoughts we have now. I know you all came from all over the world to be here today, and I cannot express how thankful myself and my family is that you have come here today. . . I know all of us have wrote some words for him today, so I decided to make mine short."
I stepped away from the podium and Jarred stepped in my place as I saw some of the guards shift as they lifted his clear casket.
"I do apologize ahead of time for the repetitive nature of this all perhaps. . . my brother being the control freak he was instructed me to do things as he wished and he wanted to make sure that each of us had our chance to talk about him"
Jarred started with a light hearted joke.
"When we were kids I remember we always used to talk about living forever and having a big family like the perfect dream that never ended. When he had disappeared that night with Luna I thought I had lost my little brother for good. Dead or alive I didn't know, but I knew I probably would never see him again. Not only did I get to see him again, but I got hundreds of years extra with him- it may not have been forever like we thought when we were kids, but it was several lifetimes worth more than I could have ever asked for. He was my little brother, and he did above and beyond more than I ever expected him to do and he even got his big family like he wanted- we all did."
He continued.
"I could talk forever about those time too, but I know I'm not the only one who has to talk today"
He stepped away and Rickey stepped up next.
"Jason. . . There's so much to say about you- things that no one else knows outside of our walls. I know most of you probably have some mixed feelings about me being here today, let alone me speaking. What can I say though I cannot deny the King if he's dead either."
He tried to muster up a laugh.
"I never paid attention to politics much if I were to be honest, I came in completely unaware of really any knowledge or Luna and Jason other than from what I heard from Jarred of course. He was kind to me when Luna and I started to see each other, he was always supportive with us- the three of us. No matter what people had said once they found out. It felt all so natural and normal for us. I know it is no secret by now the past that I have had with other people. . . the type of person I was. From what I understand I am not in the position to be King now, regardless of what many of you probably think I never cared for any of the extra things that came with the two of them."
He paused for a moment.
"I accept what you may think of me from that, and the comments I will receive like I will never be better than Jason and you would be right. I don't want to be either, because there was no one better, but I do want to make him proud and I will. I hope that you can all accept me at some point for the sake of Luna. . . Unfortunately in all of this chaos recently we had meant to announce that we are engaged now. . . with Jason's blessing so I won't be going anywhere"
He looked back to me as he reached out his hand and I grabbed it stepping forward.
"I know most- if not all our guards have some things they'd like to say about Jason as we walk him to his resting place."
I spoke as I then looked over to Rickey and he led me to the front of the casket as we all walked farther into the yard towards his grave. They spoke of their memories with Jason as we made our way one by one. Some memories were sad, some were happy, some were even terrifying for some people I'm sure. They all had different memories. . .
"My King, my friend, my brother, my son. . . you have been many things since the day we met."
Alexander started as we reached the large hole in the ground.
203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEwxffY097
"I have had the honor of being in your very special life and I am forever grateful. Thank you for teaching me such kindness, such trust and love throughout these years. I couldn't even begin to describe how I feel to be in a life of someone like you, and your lovely wife too, Jarred and now Rickey's. Today we will put you to rest, but I know you will always be with us in everything you have taught us throughout the years."
The rest of the guards slowly started to lower his casket into the grave and I tried with every ounce of strength I had no to show just how torn I was as I started to hear some of the quiet sobs of those around us.
"And I promise you, that after Rickey's ceremony is complete we will deal with that vile monster who did this. I may not be ever able to forgive myself for what has happened to you while you were under my watch, but I will never let you down again I will promise you that. Even if it is the last thing I do."
Alexander let out a low deep growl from his chest.
It hadn't occurred to me until now that Alexander had felt probably beyond horrible that he had failed the very thing he prided himself most on. Even though we now had learned that it was how Jason wanted it to be. I knew that didn't make it feel any less horrible though. . . None of it did. We all still felt some amount of guilt over what happened.
I watched as people dropped their flowers in one by one. . . time felt beyond slow, the sun eventually fell down as the people kept moving in a line until no one was left and we headed back inside for the reception.
☾☾☾
"Jarred is still very actively avoiding Joshua. . . " Rickey whispered in my ear as we watched Joshua chase after Jarred for the hundredth time.
"Luna?" a familiar female voice spoke from behind me I couldn't quite place.
I turned around and my eyes widened as I stared at the woman's face in front of me.
"Ms. Erin you made it" Alexander spoke bringer her into a hug.
"I did, Luna I am so sorry I wasn't here sooner. . . I wanted to be here as soon as I heard but Alexander gave me a very strict no" she frowned turning back to me and embraced me in a big hug.
She shifted from me to Rickey.
"Oh and your highness! Congratulations on your engagement" she exclamed.
Rickey shook his head.
"I'm not such thing- but thank you"
"Erin? how have you been?" Jarred suddenly came up behind Rickey looking at her.
"Jarred, oh I- excuse me for a moment I just realized how rude I have been. I'm Erin, I was Luna's old maid- or I suppose personal assistant when she was younger" she gave Rickey and apologetic smile.
Her red curly hair framed her round face. When I had last seen her- I couldn't even remember how long ago she had soft brown hair. She was also much tanner now like she used some sort of self tanner. She looked good. . . she looked happy.
"Ah, I see I was wondering- wait isn't that Alexander's title?"
She laughed.
"Yes and no- see I took care of her when she first arrived, so I dressed her, did her hair and those sorts of things. No man was allowed to do such things you see. Times were also different of course"
"She was dismissed after fifteen years of her service." Alexander chimed in.
"And I've lived in Paris ever since!"
She smiled her green and red eyes sparkling.
"Thank you for coming Erin, it means a lot" I said as I smiled at her.
She turned to Jarred frowning at him.
"Still running from Joshua I see, why can't you just forgive him for whatever he's done this time"
Rickey raised his eyebrows at the two of them.
"Erin this is different. . ." he started as he sighed.
"I deserve it Erin, it's okay."
Joshua finally managed to catch Jarred now that he was standing still for the moment.
"Well, it's a good thing I'll be here for a while isn't it Alexander?" she grinned.
My eyes widened.
"You're staying?" I asked.
"If that is okay with you of course my dear, but yes I did intend to."
She responded hopefully.
"Of course- we have plenty of room"
"Well then, I will see you all after the ceremony then and I will leave you to your duties for now"
She bowed her head before walking away.
Jarred glared at Joshua.
"I said keep your distance"
"Jarred, please" Joshua begged.
"Come on man, don't you think you're being a little harsh?" Rickey nudged Jarred.
"Fine. . . we can talk." Jarred grumbled with an annoyed tone.
"But not now." He quickly added.
Joshua nodded.
"Well, well. . . what do I owe the pleasure Eric" Jarred asked as Eric walked up to all of us.
He bowed his head.
"Mes excuses pour avoir causé de telles pensées négatives et des tensions inutiles"
(My apologies for causing such negative thoughts- and unneeded tension)
Jarred scoffed.
"Aucune menace n'a été faite jusqu'à présent - heureusement, mais sachez que si quelqu'un le fait, je vous regarderai en premier."
(No threat was made so far- thankfully but be aware if anyone does I will be looking at you first.)
"Laisse nous." I spoke with a firm tone.
(Leave us)
Rickey looked at me with a raised brow.
"What was that all about?"
"He wanted to apologize for our last interaction. . ." I rolled my eyes taking a sip of my drink.
"I didn't know you speak French" Rickey commented.
"Italian, French and English a little bit of German."
I shrugged.
"You say ever so casually" he chuckled kissing my cheek.
I smiled as I then looked around the room.
"I'm going outside for some air and a smoke. . . Joshua" I heard Jarred say as I continued to scan the room.
My eyes suddenly fell on a unsettling familiar face.
"Alexander. . . why is she here" I said through gritted teeth as I looked at Jennifer talking to some of the other guards.
"You know this was practically a public free for all funeral. . . expenses covered even-"
"We paid them all?" Rickey interrupted Alexander with a whisper yell.
"Yes for their travel expensive some of them- a good amount- it was under a few thousand dollars it's no biggie- anyway maybe it's a good thing she's here" Alexander brushed off his question.
"How so?" I looked at him, but suddenly Jennifer was being escorted over to us by Matthew.
"Your majesty, Jennifer wishes to speak with you"
I waved him away and looked at her.
This, is Zadicus's. . . Pet I guess
I muttered into Rickey's thoughts.
"My Queen- I know our last- our introduction wasn't best. I want to offer my services to help find him and bring him back to you"
She dropped her head down as she made her request.
"Aren't you his?"
"Was, after finding out tonight what he did I can no longer support such a man. Besides, it's a little hard to tell a man like him no." She admitted.
Something felt off. . . the whole room was off and it was harder to muster what she was feeling compared to everyone else- even if she was speaking the truth, would she feel confident enough in speaking with me?
"I know all sorts of real estate he has- I've been to many, I know his schedules- I can help if you let me I'm sure you already have it handled but. . ."
"I will consider it. You may leave now."
She nodded as she slipped back into the crowd.
I glanced at Alexander who then waved Matthew over.
"Yes, Sir?"
Alexander leaned in to his ear.
"Find out all you can on her please. . . have someone also watch her tonight" Alexander whispered to him.
Matthew nodded and rushed away.
"So the game begins. . ." I grinned.
"Don't sound too excited' Rickey chuckled.
"I think the three of us should have a toast" Alexander said with a smile.
"Oh?" I looked at him.
He raised his glass.
"To another wave of Crimson justice"
I shook my head and raised my glass, Rickey hesitated for a moment not understanding the joke and we toasted to each other.
"You might want to start taking a peak at those history books in my office during your spare time" Alexander commented noticing Rickey's confusion.
He nodded taking a sip of his drink.
ns 15.158.61.42da2
