"What do you mean again?" Zadicus asked.
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I looked back at him.
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"When you rescued me that day? I was draining his blood out of my system."
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"What is wrong with you!" Zadicus strained against his chains to look at Kaiden.
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Kaiden puffed out smoke from his nostrils his eyes flickering.
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"You're always causing problems, I didn't know it'd affect her like that. . . I tried to fix it- we did fix it" Kaiden huffed.
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"I'll do it, as long as Janus will offer his blood willing"
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Seth eyes suddenly flashed to me looking for orders.
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"It's not like he can hurt us anyway. . ." he scoffed.
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I scolded him.
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"That's not the point. . . Kaiden?"
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I looked at him now.
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"Tell me the truth. . . is what he says about you true?" I slowly made my way to him and he straightened himself his dark wings moving slightly causing a gush of wind.
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"It is true, it is why I offered you choices, and Ben choices among others- but as examples that would make sense to you. . . it is why sharing things about your past is also easy for me- it was a transition for you, though had I known your true intentions maybe I would have stopped myself or Ben. . ."
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I swallowed. That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. . . though he could be lying to me it did all make sense. . . Kaiden- or Janus whatever I called him now, was cryptic. . . was always big on choosing. . . almost as if it were his true nature. Which I suppose could make sense. Then it dawned on me. . . I remembered the story more now, something important Seth had left out. Janus was also known as the two faced man. . .
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Ben. . .
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"The two faced God. . ." I whispered my eyes grew wide.
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Suddenly my head was throbbing and a hiss of pain slipped through my lips.
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"You alright?" Seth looked at me.
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I walked back over to Zadicus and yanked out the blade and looked at him in his eyes.
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"You better me right about this. . . then I want the real answers, all of them. Every. Single. One."
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I snapped and walked over to Kaiden.
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He looked down at me before lowering his head. His head alone was the size of a small suv, if I didn't already know there was no way for him to harm me I would have been terrified. Even now I was still somewhat intimidated. The power that radiated normally off of him when he was still trapped was strong- and now it was like liquid lava in terms of feeling.
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He did as he did the first time as took one of his giant claws and sliced into himself allowing the blood to fall down in big sloppy drops covering the blade. I swallowed as the strong scent overwhelmed me. The memories of it made my mouth water, but also gave me a strange twist in my stomach suddenly.
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"Janus any advice here?" Zadicus spoke up weakly.
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"Hmm. . . you told me once you only dream memories correct?"
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"Mhm, sometimes of choosing- sometimes they just flow" Zadicus responded trying to keep his head up but you could tell by the light in his eyes fading in and out he was having a hard time staying conscious still.
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Serves him right.
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"Try that Luna, really think about the answers you want- what he has told you" Kaiden spoke softly now, he brought his head slowly back up and watched me from above.
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I simply nodded licking the warm liquid off of the cold metal. The combination was almost as euphoric as Jason or Rickey's if I were to be honest. It was strange to say the least. I walked over to the chair and sat down and closed my eyes and thought for a moment. The blood tingled on my tongue almost feeling like it was bubbling as it travelled down my throat.
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Sleeping thankfully had been something I had practiced enough now- controlling them now so much but settling in was easy.
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The beginning. . . Ananke, vampires. . .
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My vision changed and it felt like I was weightless suddenly as I saw what felt like the whole universe in front of me. I could almost touch each star and planet. . . but yet also not at all.
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"Yes, I made you because I was lonely. . . I suppose my mind in ways exploded in a sense. . . and here you are. . . a perfect companion. . ." A voice resounded around me.
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"It's been a little chaotic in this place you know. . . it's so dark, but so bright sometimes. . . though I suppose an insanity idea from myself would be nothing short of such a thing, oh I'm sorry you should have a name too. . . hmm, how about Ananke?" the voice continued.
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"And I am Chaos."
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"What do we do here? why can't I see you?" a female voice responded.
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"Hmm. . . I've been playing with an idea, give me a moment please."
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There was a flickering off in the distance, a swirl of colors and haze. . . then suddenly a low rumble as a figure approached growing as it walked forward.
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Suddenly I was pulled out by a vicious sudden cough as I leaned over the chair suddenly gasping as I continued to cough blood flecking onto the floor.
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"Whoa, whoa" I felt arms wrap around me holding me up and I gripped them my vision finally coming back as I looked at Seth's arms.
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"Everything oka-"
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"I gotta go again" I snapped cutting him off.
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Before he could protest my eyes closed again and I sunk myself back into the abyss.
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"I want to create. . . many things, but it's not as enjoyable by myself. So that is why you are here, and you will help me control such things. . . how does that sound?"
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"Y-yes" the female voice responded hesitantly and then I realized.
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It was my voice. . . though much louder and bigger than normal.
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Things suddenly went in fast forward motion and I could now see the Earth being formed. . . the water, the mountains, the land, trees, clouds, everything down to the atom. . . eventually he had created humans. Humans which I especially got to play with. I could ease them to do anything I wanted, or felt they needed. In the beginning there were mistakes. . . some had died regrettably as I learned how to interact with them. Much like the other creatures Chaos had created before. They were less predictable than the others, it was quite fascinating.
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"Ananke. . . you once mentioned to me there were flaws with the humans, yes?"
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"Yes- I- I understand things happen in stages, just as we had the other things before them I didn't mean to offend-"
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"I believe you deserve a gift. . ." he interrupted.
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"I will give you the ability to create you own version. . . play with it as you wish, but please be careful I think we both have learned just how tricky this little water sphere can be dear"
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Nothing felt different as he said such things. I spent some time watching things shift on the little sphere again while I thought about the ways the humans could be changed. Then I realized, what if I could make a smaller version of myself? Of course it would have to be still persuaded somehow. . . a hidden desire maybe? to balance things. There was one thing all of Chaos creations had in common. They all destroyed things, in one way or another, I had begun to understand that is how this so called Earth worked. Humans fought, animals fought even plants in some ways. What if. . . I could put all of those feelings into one being? Instead of in all, so only one would bare? Their purpose would be based off of their craving for blood and violence. . . Yes this would be perfect. No more then. . . just for one. . .
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A name. It needs a name. Chaos gave me a name, he gave all of his things names. . .
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Ares.
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Yes. That sounds nice.
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As I watched closely at the Earth just as many rotations ago the figure started taking shape. He was perfect, the best parts of humans in looks. After all he didn't have to be bad on the outside. He did just as I had whispered. . . He brought wars, blood, death he did it all. Many followed to my disappointment, but Chaos always told me that things take time. Though time felt so irrelevant here compared to down there. I took some of that so called time to think about how to make it work, or how to make another change or phase. Thankfully Chaos's special sphere was still spinning, still filled with life, even though they were attacking each other in some ways even more now.
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"I don't understand, why are they so difficult? They do as I whisper- as I think and hope sometimes, but other times they surprise me" I called out to Chaos suddenly.
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"It takes practice and time. . . I warned you it would not be easy. It took me a very long while to come up with you after all. You kept me creating after that if you recall, you've done a lot of things already if you think about it" he responded his shadowy figure suddenly presenting himself again.
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"I won't let you down I will fix this. . ."
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"You could never let me down. In fact you amaze me more each thing you do" he responded.
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It went silent after that as his presence faded. I watched as Ares continued his path of destruction. If I could just go down there. . . create more. . . one by one making them better perhaps. . . then it would work.
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That's it. That's what I shall do.
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I whispered my exciting plan to Ares, he would have to help. After all it all started with us, our adventure. Many children died as they were born, it would be as easy as ever to create myself a soul and put myself down there. A simple thought is all it would take. . . Together. Together we could fix it all and Chaos would see just how perfect it all could be.
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My eyes opened and the light made me squint suddenly and I blinked a few times.
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"Luna? it's been a few hours everything okay?" Seth's voice filled my ears and I smiled as I looked at Janus's smolder eyes that were watching me intently.
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"Janus. . . You, you inspired me to work so closely with them. . ." I whispered.
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"Luna?" Seth called out again his voice growing worried and I turned to face him as I got up. He was still beside Zadicus, though now on the floor.
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"I remember everything. . ." I simply responded.
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"You. . . you told Chaos to make me didn't you?" Janus's voice came out as a slow growl.
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"I did, this form more so- I always wanted him to create something better- stronger perfect." I admitted.
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I looked at Ares now who's reddened eyes looked at me begging.
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"There are things I must take care of, but I will leave you here to think about what you have done for now." I touched his cheek and he dropped his head as soon as my touch left him.
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Seth just kept watching me clearly confused. Though there hadn't been any sense of fear in the air I was slightly thankful for that.
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"We should go up to the others. . ." I said softly and he nodded.
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As we exited the room and made our way to the elevator Seth grabbed my arm.
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"Do you mind filling me in on the plan here? I just sat there and played operation on the guy for hours because you wouldn't wake up. I almost had to get someone, Rickey blew up my fucking phone" his eyes were still like black ink his anger suddenly radiating off of him like heat as he ranted.
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"You're giving me that look again like you're wanting to touch me, if you want to fuck just ask." He changed the subject moving closer.
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I reached out and put my hand on his cheek rubbing it softly.
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"You know. . . it hurts me a great deal to see Jarred without a soul. . . even if you are just a mirror"
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He blinked.
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"Are you implying. . . that Zadicus was right?"
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"Mmm, Ares wasn't lying, now lets go."
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I pulled his hand off me and moved into the elevator as he quickly followed.
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We sat down at the table in the meeting room- all guards included sat around the table some against the wall. Everyone's eyes were on me.
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"So what did you find out once he cracked?" Jarred spoke first.
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"Sort of. . . not the answers you were looking for just yet, but I have perhaps found a solution. . ." I trailed off unsure of how to start.
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My brain was still melding together. It all made sense now. . . the differences and all.
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"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" he snapped.
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"Ares. . ." I cleared my throat.
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"Zadicus wasn't lying. . . I had forgotten some things. . . big things"
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"So what? You created all the humans and us now? I use us loosely of course, that doesn't make sense though from what I knew Chaos created her- he made all things, what the Hell happened down there Seth did you let him brainwash her instead?" Jarred's voice grew agitated the more he spoke.
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"I did no such thing, how dare you, she meditated sort of things- when she woke up she said she knew things" Seth spoke up and he clenched his teeth letting out a low growl as he glared at Jarred.
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Luna are you sure you can talk about this right now?
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I heard Rickey whisper into my thoughts.
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Do you not believe me either?
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I swallowed as I responded.
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I do, Love. I just don't want you to do so much so quickly. . .
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"Fine. . . say this is all true-"
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"Jarred I saw it. Ares never spoke after telling me how to meditate. Janus didn't either." I cut him off and he pressed his lips together.
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"Okay. . ."
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"The stories you know are somewhat right- like all stories, truths are bent, some things are misunderstood. . . Chaos saw how much joy it brought me to watch him build your Earth, everything's existence. . . many times I would give him ideas- create what I wanted. He had unlimited clay if you want to call it that, and then he would tell me things took time to create 'right' " I paused.
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"So he gifted upon me what you know as Phane's ability- who for the record is indeed a myth. As I watched the humans grow and evolve I noticed there was the same problem as always. . . they were also still so fragile. . . their lives so short, just many things wrong- so I thought"
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The words now started to almost come out like they weren't my own. A side affect I could only assume. I had become extremely human in my time on this Earth that much was certain now. . . perhaps more human than Godess even.
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"So Z- Ares was first wasn't he?" Matthew spoke rather quietly.
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"He was. . . I watched him bring war and death for many years. . . I whispered to him as I did Chaos to fix things. . . after all he was supposed to carry the burden of anger, and like all things over time I hoped that it would be extinguished as he created more of himself. . . however he didn't"
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Flashes of the memories clouded my vision and I rubbed my temple and I felt Rickey grab my other hand holding it tightly.
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"Then I realized. . . Chaos and I always watched things play out, but we never truly interfered- sure I whispered ideas, suggested and such, but that took time. . . a hands on approach would be better"
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I started to whisper suddenly.
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"I whispered my exciting plan to Ares, he would have to help. After all it all started with us, our adventure. Many children died as they were born, it would be as easy as ever to create myself a soul and put myself down there. A simple thought is all it would take. . . Together. Together we could fix it all and Chaos would see just how perfect it all could be."
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"You told him he couldn't let the truth be known. . . knowing things were so unpredictable down here you didn't want to risk your plan if something went wrong with your transition. . ." Alexander finally spoke.
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As I looked at him I could see the gears turning his head as he started to put the puzzle together.
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"So then why did you change the plan when you came down here?" Jarred asked and I looked over to him.
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"Well. . . it took some time for me to truly meld with this body, when she died of course I fixed some things on the inside. . . so change and forgot are very different things to inhabit the body it took a lot of time, which is why I can't really remember anything, until I found myself a new focus"
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I felt a smile tug at my lips.
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"I remember your parents going around town looking for answers. . . I was young, but they came to our house once, they tried to give you away. . ." I looked over at Jarred who now seemed empty as he sorted through his old memories.
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"Jason was very curious of course and he-"
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He suddenly looked me in the eyes and I swallowed.
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"It was like he saw through it all. . . he wasn't looking at the soul I was erasing. . . he was looking at me."
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I admitted.
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His eyes suddenly sparkled and he smiled relaxing his shoulders back now.
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"We are quite unpredictable aren't we? When you came down you got to experience it all first hand"
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"Jarred-" Alexander started but was quickly stopped by Jarred lifting his hand.
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"I'm not upset with her, I think we can all agree on one thing leaving this meeting. . ." Jarred started as he straightened his shoulders looking around the room.
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"Luna- Ananke whatever you wish to call her, has cared about us all so much even she made herself into a being just to fix what she felt she failed with. . . Luna has always cared-in both of her lives."
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Everyone nodded in agreeance.
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"All in favor of keeping this under our roof only?" Rickey shifted in his seat.
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His voice sounded so strict. It was close to the voice he's use in the bedroom and I could feel my cheeks flush at the thought. Right now was the time to be thinking about that though. It really wasn't. He was however making Jason very proud I was sure.
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Everyone said yes in unison.
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"Does this mean the plan has changed?" Seth cleared his throat.
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"Somewhat. . . possible I could make him kill anyone who fights again the idea of Rickey and I, but I'm not sure if I like that idea so that will stay the same, as for Jason I will have to be very careful of my next few steps. . . First I think Ares and I need a break for tonight though- at least I do. . . absorbing such memories takes a lot. . ."
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"Can you fix him?" Jarred cut in.
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"Of course I can, and I will" I removed my hand for Rickey's for a moment and reached over to grab Jarred's hands.
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"I understand your lack of patience. . . I hate being without him too, but I need to be very careful with this" I reminded him.
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I watched his eyes for any sense of doubt. He believed me, but I could still see the hurt in them.
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"Think about it Jarred. . . if she rushes before she knows the right way- or she's too weak we don't know what could happen to him" Rickey added.
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"You're right. . . Does this now mean that asshole skips punishment?" Jarred sighed pulling his hands away.
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A few people glanced at me for a moment then looked back down and I shook my head.
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"Of course not, Ares was to an extent doing what I asked of him- but what he did to your brother was completely out of line. Believe me he will understand that by the time we're done, in fact in some ways he seems upset- but more of in a sad manner-"
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"He was disappointed in his failure." Seth spoke up interjecting.
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"Did he say something to you?" I questioned him.
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"He said he was wrong" he shrugged.
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"Considering I wasn't even torturing him during that moment I would say it might even be genuine, he was under the impression you were replacing Jason."
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Jarred scoffed beside Seth shaking his head.
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"I'll agree for the day to let you both rest, I'll go down after next- does that sound fair and okay with you?" Jarred nodded his head towards Rickey and I and I nodded and looked at everyone.
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"I understand this is a lot more literal than any of us had thought. . . it's going to take some time to understand- or whatever, I do not want things to change please understand that, but I must be honest with you all so unfortunately this is the only way"
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"You were our Godess anyway" Joshua shrugged giving me a smile and some others laughed.
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"If we're dismissed then I believe we all should have some dinner upstairs boys- Alexander we'll meet you up there?" Joshua started getting up looking over at Alexander and nodded.
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"You know what they say boss- last one up pays the bill" Matthew grinned over at Alexander who laughed in response.
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"Well, considering I'm the reason why you have money at all anyway, I guess I always do, but alright" Alexander rummaged through his pockets and tossed him his wallet and waved him off.
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Jarred rolled his eyes and looked over at Alexander.
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"How are you doing bud? you've been pretty quiet."
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"Maybe Alexander is a little intimidated of such a Being suddenly" Seth grinned.
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It seemed Seth could almost be just as bad as Ares when it came to trouble. It was quite odd, but none the less in ways amusing. At least I knew he could be trusted, unlike not too long ago how I felt about Ares.
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"No, I knew long ago she was stronger than me- it's just odd being that I was told lies from him. . . Not surprising perhaps. She had no idea, he said he didn't know- which he doesn't really I suppose explaining what she said" Alexander shook his head.
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"But I also understand why he either couldn't or shouldn't, Luna could you shed some light on that for me? Sorry Ananke?" Alexander shifted his gaze to me and I gave him a small smile.
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"You can still call me Luna- and yes and no, I told him he needed to do what was necessary for our plan, but I believe that when he realized I wasn't as. . . aware of my Being, and that somehow I failed with my reincarnation." I frowned as I admitted my failure, then I cleared my throat shaking it off.
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"So much time went on after Jason- I think he gave up to an extent, after all I had to remember myself, who would have believed him anyway? At the point you started writing especially."
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Alexander nodded in agreeance.
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"I know you all are probably thinking I somewhat want you to forgive him. . . or show him some mercy, however I did create him to be just as he has acted. I wanted him to harbor such anger, such greed for violence- and even blood itself after all"
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"And you call me a Devil" Seth chuckled looking at Jarred.
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"Seth." Rickey said sternly.
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"What about Kaiden?" Alexander tried to change the subject.
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"Janus. . . is very complicated to explain. . . as you can understand by just knowing about me- what I did, somewhat do now-"
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"If you can persuade people then why not just make him tell you?" Seth interuptted.
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"Mmm, see that is where things got a little troublesome in my transition. . . I know you felt what I did downstairs- I do apologize by the way, that I can do however. . . speaking it is harder, if that were the case you and I wouldn't have had are meeting would we?" I raised a brow to him.
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He pressed his lips together for a moment then nodded.
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"I would tell people what to do- heavily lead them in a direction, Janus however offers them choice, helps ease them in difficult times"
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I took a sip from my glass and set it down on the table.
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"I see. . . I presume it would be better to leave him to you then?" Alexander questioned and I nodded.
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"That's all I need to know- we will figure out more details as we go this week, but first everyone needs a break from it."
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Alexander started gathering his things as everyone else got up and headed for the door.
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"Love can we go to the kitchen?" Rickey's voice softly came from behind me.
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I felt a strike of guilt hit me suddenly. I forgot that Rickey needed food and blood unlike I really did- I drank for pleasure more than anything. I really needed to make sure there were times for such things for him.
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"Of course, sorry. . . I'm sure you're starved-"
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"I can have someone make food for you Rickey- or if you want we can order you food too?" Alexander offered.
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"Sure, but I'll make a snack in the mean time- thanks"
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There was a slight breeze and I turned around to notice Jarred and Alexander had left, but Seth was still here as we walked into the kitchen.
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"You that hungry too? Not like you to lurk around after a job like that" Rickey commented as he started opening cabinets.
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"I'm never not, but uh no- Luna can I steal you for a moment?"
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I nodded sitting on one of the stools.
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"Babe, please help me out here, there's so many damn cabinets" Rickey grumbled.
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I giggled and shook my head.
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"Pantry is what I think you're looking for, it's the door to your left"
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Rickey quickly made his way into the pantry where he swore a few more times to himself and I shook my head.
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"Could we talk somewhere more private?" Seth asked.
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I looked over to him. His eyes were still almost completely black, he was covered in all sorts of different negative energy right now. I hadn't understood what Jarred and everyone meant about how he was after, but now I could see, smell and hear it all. I could read it all over him.
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"Of course."
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I got up and motioned him to follow me out the patio doors. He quickly followed and shut the door behind him as he followed me to the bench. I sat down patting the spot next to me as I took a breath of fresh air.
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"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked as he sat down.
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"You said something earlier. . ." he started slowly.
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"Mhm, I said many things Seth." I raised my brow.
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"Oh, you mean about your looks?" I corrected myself.
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"Something like that- is that why you look like you want to always check if I'm real?" he chuckled.
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I bit my lip. I really did almost always want to reach out and touch him each time I saw him. It was so odd how close they were, if it weren't for the missing soul they could be even perhaps through and through the same.
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"You know plenty of people want to sleep with their-"
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My cheeks flushed and I shook my head quickly.
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"No, no it's just. . . you two are truly so close, it's fascinating- I can tell in your cores you are different at times, for instance your eyes are still dark so you're still feeding on the scene that we had downstairs aren't you?"
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He gave me a sly grin.
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"Something like that. . . I promise Jarred I would stay with him the next day or two, with Jeff being here it's a little hard to get my release I usually go after."
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He admitted.
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"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. . ."
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"Oh? Then ask away."
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"It's not asking, I just didn't think it was the best time- or perhaps place to tell you I think he has been cracked Luna. . . I think he's- I know he's given up."
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His eyes locked onto mine now as if he were making sure I would tell nothing but the truth.
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"What did you tell him to do when or if your plan started to fail?"
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"You are good at your job aren't you Seth?" I grinned, but he stayed with a poker face as he watched me not saying a word.
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"Do you suddenly not trust me now? Is that what this is about?" I questioned him.
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"No I do. I just want to know is all."
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He shrugged.
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"I told him he'd have to let the natural way guide us"
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"Aren't you normally that force though?"
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I nodded.
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"See that is why it's so difficult to explain to others. . . It's why I made Ares keep my true self a secret, the plan was to come down, fix and come back."
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"Is that why you told humans- or beings whatever you existed? Chaos too and everything?"
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"Mhm, besides you all seem to. . . sometimes have a need to place blame on others or things that are out of your control to feel better."
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"So then. . . what do you blame?"
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His eyes were smoldering into mine now as I gritted my teeth. He lacked a soul which is why he could push so much harder than most. Perhaps even farther than even I. I could have been angry right now, but I would be honest I was quite impressed. If anything Seth was close to the image of what I wanted the perfect being to be to balance out the other.
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"Myself." I sighed looking up at the sky breaking his look.
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"Of course, I had no way of knowing how things would go- everything down here is so unpredictable. . . I know that now, maybe things would have balanced out- more like you would exist, maybe I would have caused the world to burn by not stepping in when I did" I shrugged.
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"Do you think Chaos is upset you didn't come back?"
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I closed my eyes still looking up at the stars.
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"Maybe, hard to say- Chaos always was making, when I had decided to do what I did he seemed to be less interested in my company by that time anyway"
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"Well, I should go back inside- check on Jarred."
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He said as I kept my eyes closed.
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"Noapte bună, Diavol înalt" I smiled.
(Goodnight, tall Devil)
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He chuckled.
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"Noapte bună, Zeiță."
(Goodnight, Godess)
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I heard the door open and close and I kept my eyes closed feeling the slight breeze.
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I couldn't believe I had forgotten. . . Everything. Poor Ares, I was so confident in my plan working- silly me, too blind to understand. . . As much as I hated feeling guilt for the one who murdered one of the loves of my life, it was impossible not to. After all, I was the very reason he existed and the reason he even risked his own life for my plan to go into motion after so many years. He may have lied to me at times about our existence, but that was only because I made him. Unfortunately most of the hatred I had grown towards him were do to actions I gave him.
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"Love, what are you thinking about?" Rickey's voice suddenly snapped me out of my thoughts and I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me.
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"So many things. . ." I whispered.
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"Are you. . . adjusting well?" he asked stepping closer.
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I let out a small laugh.
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"I should be asking you that no?"
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"Well. . . I have a confession, I didn't have a- I guess as strong of reaction as everyone else because we uh, we shared that memory"
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My eyes widened and I got up taking his hands into mine giving them a light squeeze before putting my hand over his chest then his forehead.
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"Are you okay? how do you feel-"
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"Luna, Love relax, I'm fine it's okay- I mean it was a lot especially the feeling I will admit, but I'm okay" he smiled cupping my face with his hands and placing a kiss on my forehead.
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"Or would you prefer Ananke?" he asked softly and I melted practically as I smiled leaning into his touch. He seemed so un-phased by it all and I was very thankful for that.
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"Either is fine, I'm glad you're alright though, I'm so sorry. . . "
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He shook his head.
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"No, honestly. . . it was amazing, I went to check in and see how things were after some time had passed you know? And suddenly I was thrown into it all"
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His eyes sparkled as he talked about the memory and I could feel the excitement radiating off of him and it made me smile more. He looked down at me slightly tilting my head up.
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"Just explains why you're so damn perfect, so unreal in how we are together sometimes" his lips brushed against mine.
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I giggled and gave him a small kiss.
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"I think that's just the bond"
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His hand moved to my waist pulling me tight against him.
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"I don't care what it is, I love you and god- ess I love the way it makes me feel when I'm with you, nothing is better than this- and trust me I've done a lot of things to get a euphoric feeling"
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He smiled down at me his eyes were a mixture of dark red and small inky droplets covering his one blue orbs.
.
"You've been such a romantic lately, should I be worried?" I smiled.
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He gave me a small frown as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
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"No. . . I'm just trying, because truth be told, I know how Jason was with you- I uh don't exactly know if I can perform in the bedroom like he did, but I think I can be a little better outside of it- besides I love you more than just the sex we have you know that."
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My heart ached at the sadness I could feel coming off of him suddenly. I would never ask him to change. I loved him for him, but I couldn't help but admire how he wanted to try and give me everything. Try to help ease all the parts of my life that had suddenly disappeared. That in and of itself showed his growth. . .
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"Rickey I love you just the way you are. . ." I touched his cheek pausing for a moment.
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"You're even willing to push your own comforts- or habits to the side to make me feel better"
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He smiled now as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
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"I have something for you actually"
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"Oh?" I raised my brow at him judging by the hardness I felt against me I had a feeling it was something sexual. Not that I was complaining. Instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace.
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"I don't deserve all the credit though. . . I uh, Erin gave me the idea- I just put it together"
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I took it in my hand and looked at the small silver chain and let my eyes wander to the vial that hung from it.
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"Is this. . ."
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"Before you freak out- I used some left over from one of your glasses, you're out here every day. . . before that you were down there everyday. So I thought maybe if you could keep a part of him with you-"
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I couldn't help but bring his lips to mine as they crashed together. I loved this man, so very much. His tongue quickly invaded my mouth as I heard the small jingle of the chain as he moved it in his hand and used his other hand to grab at my waist. My hand tangled itself in his soft hair giving it light pulls as are tongues moved against each other. He pulled away with a slight pant and I opened my eyes as saw his boring into mine. I felt his arms move around me and the suddenly cold chill of the chain laying around my neck hearing the click.
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"Thank you. . ." I reached up touching the vial against my chest.
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"She uh, she mentioned it could be rough when you eventually ran out. . . thought maybe this could help ease that" he gave me a small smile and I looked at his now swollen lips again and smiled.
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"Can I ask you something?" he bit his lip for a moment.
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"Anything, I'm sure you have a lot of things to ask me"
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"Just one. . . at least for now" he admitted.
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"Where. . . where is Jason now?"
ns 15.158.61.42da2
