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#1

The Lord Our God

Harri

Aug 2, 2021

99

1 Min Read

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I am The Lord, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be my name.

But I'm quite the narcissist as well,

I demand you praise me every day.

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I am The Lord, the designer,

Who has a plan for you all.

But I only bothered to explain it once

To some farmers thousands of years ago.

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I am The Lord, the King of Kings,

Omniscient and omnipresent.

I don't really know what's going on, though,

And I've pinched tonnes from other religions.

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I am The Lord, high and almighty,

All seeing, all hearing, all knowing.

Apparently though, I'm shit with money,

Please cough your change up every Sunday.

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I am The Lord, your creator,

By will alone I made existence.

But despite mastery over all time and space,

I still care about contraception.

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I am The Lord, the prince of peace,

Representing the one true faith.

But which faith is true I shan't bother to say,

Despite the bloodshed reaped in my name.

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I am the Lord, shepherd on high,

At the end of time I'll return.

Yet the planet is dying, and everyone's fighting,

But it all looks just great from above.

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I am The Lord, who art in heaven.

Hallowed by my name.

And I'll cast you into the fires forever,

If you question anything I claim.

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religion god humour faith parody satire lord atheism satirical atheist

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#1 The Lord Our God