Chapter Two Present day 315Please respect copyright.PENANAhwsgWBTzB6
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So yeah Its been one week and four days since that eventful night and all I have done is stay at home , in my pjs, order take out and watch chick flicks, although not productive , I feel genuinely content. I stretch out on the sofa and go to switch on Netflix but just as I go to do so my phone rings. I glance to the object lighting up my coffee table, I take a deep breath and grab it. It hasn’t rung in days. At first it freaked me out, I expected Michael to bombard my phone but after I ignored him completely that night he hasn’t tried again, he hasn’t even shown up at my flat which I was definitely expecting yet nothing. Hopefully he actually understood what I was saying that night because I was dead serious, I am glad he is leaving me alone. This should be a lesson go him.Treat what you value with respect and dignity. To my relief it isn’t Michael but somehow its someone much worse...its Jessica Richards my best friend who I have been ignoring all week and I know she is going to be beyond pissed off. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. What am I going to say to her, she is definitely going to give me an earful. Ugh I best get this over with, I swipe left close my eyes and answer. “Hey Sica, what’s up?” I try my best to sound genuine and calm but I fail miserably, she sees straight through my bullshit. I barely have time to carry on my sentence before she’s screeching down the phone at me...here we go. “Don’t you freaking heeey me! Where the fuck have you been? I have been texting you everyday and you have sent nout back, I have been worrying like a mad women and you finally answer the phone and all I get is a hey Sica!” I take a deep breath, I can tell she’s more upset than angry because her voice has this annoying high pitch to it, the kind of sound that reminds you of a child squealing for something they really want, the type of sound that leaves your ears ringing. She is kind of right, usually best friends tell each other everything, especially if it involves a break up. Ah damn I have fucked up here , I should have tang her straight way but I was all too consumed with my self. I just wanted to take a time out to gather myself. “ I’m really sorry me and Michael split up and I don’t know...I’m just using this time to revaluate my life, I didn’t really want to speak to anyone, I haven’t even phoned my dad, I’m just taking a break” I rush all these words out at once because I want her to understand my situation so she doesn’t think I’m a total ass. Jessica has been my best friend since year 1, we grew up together and luckily throughout our educational years, were always in the same forms and classes. There’s a long silent pause, so long I take the phone away from my ear to check I’m still on call. “Did you hear me? I was just taking ti-” She cuts me off abruptly. “You broke up with Michael....You Lily broke up with Michael and you didn’t fucking tell me! Oh my god how could you!” What? “We are supposed to be best friends , you cant just go hiding that sort of life changing information...it goes against code” Oh. Her voice is remotely calmer however has a sharp edge to it letting me know she is not fucking around, I kind of messed up here. I start to feel bad, like really bad to the point my stomach has a slight ache to it. Fuck focus. You took me time. There is nothing wrong with that, it was needed otherwise you would be barling every five minutes. Think and breath. “I’m sorry but as I just tried to say, I am taking time out. Its all about me now and what I want. So yes, I do apologise for not telling you however ...” I pause for short second making sure my next words are carefully said. “I also don’t care that I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my priority” Again there’s silence. Shit maybe that was a tad too harsh. My inner doubt is quickly cut off by Jessica’s laughter. “Holy shit, you know usually I would be stupidly mad at you but as your long-term best friend and life partner I totally get it...How do you feel?” Well, damn I was not expecting that reaction or question. How do I feel? A million words come to mind all conflicting one another but one stays bold and its perfect. “Free, I feel fucking free” I say this with a giant smile on my face, my answer is returned with a loud fuck yeah from Jessica followed by girlish squealing. I throw my head back in laughter joining my best friend, this feels good, to genuinely have a giggle, seriously my life must have been worse than I anticipated if one laugh can make me feel on top of the world. That realisation instantly starts to dull my mood. It’s really weird looking back on the situation between me and Michael. Did everyone notice me not being me? How did I not notice myself talking into the miserable state? I lost all my self value and became a slave to him. Jessica carried on squealing non coherent statements which quickly lifted my mood back up, whilst she done this and I tried to understand what she was saying, I grabbed a bag of Wotsits off the counter, opened my balcony door and stepped outside.315Please respect copyright.PENANAdNASA5kqTp
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Jesus Christ the sun was beaming today, what time was it? It was far to hot for it to be early morning. Oh wow it’s so bright eye, I can’t see shit. I can feel the heat everywhere to the point the wood on the floor on the balcony was kind of uncomfortably hot, ouch my feet are burning . I settle on a sun lounger quickly to give my feet some release. I massage the sore skin to improve the blood flow for a quick healing. I stretch my legs, wiggle my toes then look up to the blue cloudy sky , I’m instantly blinded because the darn cloud covering the sun decides to move and I am returned with rays of sunshine blazing into my eyeballs. How tired am I ? I literally just came outside, realised it was hot, that it’s bright then like a genius look up to the sky. I abruptly stand up, press my phone to my ear using my shoulder and rub my eyes till I see stars. “Bloody sun” I murmur to myself. I am not one for the heat, I absolutely hate it, I struggle to dress for the summer, I never know weather to bring a jacket or if I’m wearing too much or too less. It doesn’t help I’m chubby, I swear that little bit more which is gross. Where my legs are on the chunky side my thighs rub together also so I have to talc daily if wearing shorts or a dress. My body is just not designed to endure the summer. Whenever it’s hot, if I’m not working, I just stay indoors, admiring the rather from the comfort of my sofa. Its a fact, our British summers are not like summers around the world, they are random uncomfortable weeks of heat that only a small proportion of the population actually like. I swear we best not be having a heat wave during my transformation weeks ... I may potentially melt and die. I really cannot survive hotness.315Please respect copyright.PENANAeUQNulqAEW
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I’m brought back into reality by the conversation because I can hear Jessica repeating hello over and over. “Huh sorry reception cut out, what did you say?” I hear her huff. “Your such a liar. I said now your a single pringle lets go out. Have a girl’s night!! Get dressed up, have a few actually scratch that a lot of drinks, dance and eat kebabs on the way home...what do you think” This isn’t a question, she only ended it with a question so she thinks that I think she has given me a choice. A night out really doesn’t sound so bad, I do enjoy going out, the only reason I hadn’t was because of work or that I was with Michael. I hadn’t had a girl’s night in forever. The only time I got dressed up to go out was with him but it was always the same place. A massive club situated in central London called ‘Sensation’, it was between Trafalgar square and the Millennium bridge. It had 3 levels, massive dance floors made from black marble glitter tiles, warm strobe lights, back rooms, private booths...the whole shabam. It was for those who had money and wanted to social or have a good time. Whenever me and Michael would go, he would disappear for a while with his friend leaving me with their wives. It was very uncomfortable; they would all sit there bitching about their husbands. At the time I did not understand how they could be so bitter about their spouses but now I think I get why. They all knew what their husbands were up to yet they chose to stay. If I had known what Michael was up to behind my back, I would have left him a long time ago. How can you stay with someone knowing they are dicking someone else? Michael had two groups of friends, men he went to school with were considered his close friends who he rarely saw. The others were business partners who he saw every other day. I hated spending time with his business partners because they acted so slimy. None of them had wives or girlfriends, Michael was the only one in a committed relationship although the committed part didn’t seem to really stay with him in the end it seems. Thinking about it, I’m guessing there was other reasons he hung out with his so-called business partners. The late-night meetings, business trips out of town, I bet they all knew what he was doing behind my back...I bet they know all his dirty secrets the pigs.315Please respect copyright.PENANAgHFbmUC9rD
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Thinking about him suddenly made me feel even hotter to the point of sickness, I start to feel really ill. Is it strange I don’t miss him? Like I thought by now I would be needing him, that I would be battling with myself whether to contact him. I have felt nothing close to that. Instead, what I have done is erase all the so called good of him from my memory and my flat. I literally shoved anything to do with him into a bin bag down the shoot. The memories of him are too tainted for me to the good even if I wanted to. 315Please respect copyright.PENANAMKpvuGGB09
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The sun is in all its glory beaming directly down on me , I can feel my skin is burning. I quickly shrug out of my grey fluffy dressing gown, chucking it on the sun lounger before taking several deep breaths, that helped immensely. “Hello ...earth to Lily, we are going out what time should I pop over, I finish work in an hour” An hour, what? “An hour! What time is it?” I am so confused , is she finishing early today?, I glance down at my phone trying to see the time but because its so bright out I cannot see my screen, have I really wasted the day away sprawled out on my sofa watching the Matrix trilogy ? Okay maybe I should be more productive with my free time, I really shouldn’t let the days waste away. I groan inwardly. I am about to answer Jessica when an unfamiliar voice interrupts me. “To answer your question, its 4 in the afternoon” I don’t recognise this voice at all, its deep and has a slight Irish twinge to it, I’m guessing Irish, could be welsh for all I know, I’m useless when it comes to accents. I follow my ears to the voice, its coming from the balcony opposite mine. I live in a apartment complex that has over 10 floors , its a beautiful new build building, well somewhat new , it was built 7 years ago, I am the first tenant in this flat. The building is surrounded by green space and even has a roof garden that hardly anyone uses so I get the luxury of having it to my self. They recently built a sister building to the left of my building, its joint by an outdoor fire escape that also leads to the roof top garden. Most of the flats in the sister building had been bought up but the one opposite mine had remained empty until now it seems. I wonder if there is now a tenant living there. I glance around. When I match the voice to the face, I swear my eyes bulge out of my head. 315Please respect copyright.PENANAW3i3q2GFeq
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Leaning casually against the silver railings of the balcony is a tall, clean-shaven man dressed in blue denim jeans, a white crisp shirt and black boots...Dr Martin I think, the giveaway is the classic yellow string along the sole of the shoe. He looks the bees’ knees. I haven’t seen him before; I assume he’s just moved in or something. “Erm thank you” I stutter. I avoid eye contact because even from here I can see he has deep brown eyes, they almost look black, its very intimidating. He is very pale, I think his dark brown hair adds to his complexion but he seems to pull it off well, too well actually. I finally lock eyes with him, my mouth forms the perfect oh, he is stunning. He has a strong jawline, high cheekbones and the most perfect lips I have ever seen on a man they are pale shade of red, plump and delicious looking, I bet they are soft to the touch. I feel like I have left earth. Am I in the presence of an angel? The sun is beaming directly down on him which just adds more to my vision of him. Fuck me he looks tasty. What are the odds a hotty like that moves in directly in front of a well average girl like me? The universe must be fucking with me. I can faintly hear Jessica in the background but my brain cannot figure out what she is saying or even how to respond at that point. I must have been gawking because he arches an eyebrow at me then smirks. Holyshit. “So, is this to be expected every day around this time then?” he asks me with humour in his voice. What is he talking about? “Sorry what” He laughs then gestures with his hand forward wagging it up and down. I follow his movement with my eyes, obviously confused which he realises he starts to laugh audibly louder. I become notably frustrated; he just responds with a lop-sided grin that I cannot lie looks so sexy on his face but is being ruined by the evilness I can see coming from his eyes. Who is this guy? Is it normal on first meetings to laugh at someone and be so evasive? “ Well I guess its true that you London girls are all the same then” He crosses his arms over his chest, I can’t help but notice the muscles bulging through his shirt. His arms are massive get free from tattoos. How odd. I would have guessed he was covered in tattoos all over, he looks the type. Isn’t it fashionable to be hench, well groomed with the added non meaningful tattoo of a dragon or skull or something. Either way he may look good but he is coming off a right prick. “What the fuck did you just say?”. I am not in the mood today for this shit, what on earth is he talking about? Bloody weirdo. This is all to much for me right now, its hot, I’m getting flustered .I have just woken up and oh shit! Jessica is still on the phone. I agree to whatever she is rambling on about and hang up the phone. I stare back at the stranger who is now leaning forward against the balcony railings. “What are you taking about? Can you be clearer instead of just laughing at me, its not very nice of you and it really doesn’t give off a good impression with a first meeting and all” The words are rushed , I’m not even sure he can understand me. I place my hands on my hips, stare at him dead on. I mirror his expression. He stands straight, cracks his neck and looks me up and down. He does this ever so slowly, like he wants me to see he is checking me out which makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. He must be judging me, I know I look a mess, I have just woken up. I refuse to show him how uncomfortable he is making me feel, I steady my stance furrow making it clear my guard is up. Once our eyes meet again, I see him take a deep breath and lick his bottom lip. Damn those lips are killer. I am struggling to keep my composer; my legs are starting to buckle; my eyes burn from glaring so hard. To top it all off, this heat is not helping, I bet I’m coming off as a sweaty mess.“ If I get to come home every afternoon to a half naked girl on a balcony, consider me a very happy neighbour” I stare at him with amusement. “You’re my neighbour?” He flashes me a devilish grin with a nod. Well then this is excitingly awkward, I have a good-looking arsehole moving in across from me. 315Please respect copyright.PENANAPxrVJAb5RM
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Wait a minute ... what did he just say about being naked? Who’s half naked on their balcony? I look around yet see no on but us two. He turns around then starts walking back inside but stops abruptly. He looks over his shoulder and I swear I can see him smirking. “Suns out bums out” he calls out, then he’s gone. I shake my head in disapproval. I go to grab my robe off the lounger. As I reach over, I catch a glimpse of my leg...my bare leg. I still. All the colour drains from my face as I slowly look down. No. Please God. Oh, fucking no! To my horror I am in nothing but a vest top and panties. Not even sexy panties, massive pink flowery ones at that. I am beyond. I quickly run inside. I draw my curtains in an attempt to hide from the world. Is it fuck over Lily day or something? I flop face first on to my plush velvet chesterfield sofa. What the hell is wrong with me. How did I not realise that my bare legs were out? I know I had just woken up but surely, I would have felt the air hitting my skin. Such a pleasant first encounter with a new neighbour, a new sexy up his own arse neighbour. Crap I bet I have given off such an odd impression. I was outside baring my ass for all to see in ugly pants, a vest top with a ketchup stain on it and my hair in a messy bun. If I was incredibly sexy I could have pulled it off yet I am not. I look like a house hermit; I feel like trash. Unfortunately, someone actually saw me in this God awful state. I scream into the pillow for some form of release. I have no idea how long I stay in this position however my willow in self pity party is ended by the ringing of my buzzer. I drag myself from the sofa and slowly retrieve the doors phone. “Hello” I yawn. “Hey bitch its me.” Jessica “Let me in, I have two bottles of vodka but the corner shop had no bags so now I look like a young drunk. Let me in before anyone else judges me” I laugh to myself, she really has a way with words, I quickly buzz her in and dash to my bedroom to retrieve some joggers. Cant be letting two people see my in my pants today, it was embarrassing enough the first time. I shake the memory away, I guess it’s kind of funny, who knows he may forget about it by tomorrow...or next week .315Please respect copyright.PENANAbDcYSwuqiH
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There’s a light knock one the door, so I jog over and open it to let her in. At first, she strolls in with the biggest smile on her face, she has happiness radiating off her, she is such a vibe but that quickly fades when she glances around the room then looks at me. There she is smelling divine, looking like a bloody star and then there’s me , who looks like she hasn’t washed in a while and hasn’t heard of a thing called a washing machine. Jessica gives me a once over then peeks around my body at the rest of the room, she scrunches up her nose. “Babe why are you not dressed” she says this whilst looking me up and down again with a questionable look on her face. Truth or lie, hmmm. “Well, I just lost track of time. I just thought I’d wait for you in the end” I respond with a shrug. Half truth is way better than a lie, even if it is a white lie. Her smile returns. “Go have a shower, clean yourself up whilst I clean this all up” she states. “I bought you an outfit, we are getting wild tonight” she squeals whilst clasping her hands together. I reply with a salute, I start marching to the bathroom kicking my legs and stomping my feet. Before I get to the door something niggles at me. “Jessica, I hope you haven’t got me pieces of fabric but an actual outfit. I don’t want to look like a pig in spandex although I do appreciate the gesture” I look back to Jessica who starts to laugh hard “Don’t worry Lily, you will love it”. She then rushes me from behind, warps her arms around me. She whispers “I am glad your back and that pensioner is gone” I squeeze her arms, slightly leaning against her. “Me too, people were starting to think I was his daughter. “Jessica barks out a laugh and I carry on to the bathroom315Please respect copyright.PENANAmM2BhrkrTn
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I take a quick shower making sure to wash my hair. I scrub my body till its red raw with my favourite vanilla body scrub. I wash my hair with coconut shampoo then condition it with the same brand. When I get out, I feel instantly refreshed, my body no longer aches, my skin is soft. I almost feel as if I am glowing inside and out. I wipe the steam off the mirror to admire my reflection. I toy with a stand of hair that has come loose from the towel. I can’t understand why he felt the need to cheat on me, am I not attractive?. I play with my face in the mirror, I stretch out my cheeks, pull down eyelids. I do this for a good five minutes altering my face in many ways. You know why am I even thinking about him. I am free, I can do what I want when I want. I can look how I want, wear what I want and no one can stop me, I should feel empowered, I am a strong independent woman, I need to act like it. I blow dry my hair straight, I have naturally thick curly ginger hair, I like it straightened because it frames my face nicely. I fill in my eyebrows, line my eyelids, then curl my lashes so I can then add mascara. I cannot remember the last time I wore make up like this. Michael liked me having minimal makeup on, he said it made me look classier. I sigh. Fuck him, I want to make an effort tonight; I want to look good. I want people to say I look good. It would be nice to feel admired. “Cisca!” I shout, she pops her head around the bathroom door. “Yes, cor holy shit I haven’t seen your hair like that in forever. You look great” I smiley widely at her batting my eye lashes. I look back into the mirror. “where’s this outfit then? Also are you taking pictures tonight?” Jessica clicks her tongue and twirls out of the room; she’s definitely started on the drinks whilst I was getting cleaned up. “Here is your outfit. I spent ages picking it out for you and fuck yeah, I’m taking pics, we are showing the world that Lily is back baby! Single and ready to mingle” I high five her then shoo her out of the room. I take the outfit out of the bag; I am so worried she has picked out some skimpy dress or something. I peel back the plastic to take a feel inside. She pleasantly surprises me , she proves why she is my best friend of all time. Jessica has brought me a tight pair of black trousers, they are long and slightly flared, they look stunning. I rummage around a little more. The next item I’m not to sure on like at all. She has picked out a deep red halter neck that also looks like a belly top. I cannot wear this! It will look so wrong on me. There is no way I will look appealing in this. I hold the top up to the light to examine it, it has a dark burgundy sheer fabric above the silk under top that leaves little to the imagination as the top under is slightly lower than the sheer fabric . Fuck it, might as well see how it looks after all Jessica has gone out her way and bought this for me. I dress my self ever carefully so I don’t crease my outfit. I stand up and admire myself in the mirror, pose a couple of times then take a deep breath. The trousers frame my thighs nicely, actually giving me a shape, there also high waisted which gives me a non surgical bum lift and allows my love handle go be nicely tucked away without me looking like a top heavy fraction. The top I’m a bit sceptical of, it does look nice but it doesn’t feel nice. I think it’s because I’m self conscious of my stomach. I’m not fat but I do have a little chub to my belly. I stand there moving from side-to-side striking poses to ensure that everything stays in place, I think I look alright actually. 315Please respect copyright.PENANAVKOhkc6NGE
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I take one last peek into the mirror that’s slightly vibrating against the tiled wall. I’m guessing Jessica has found out how to work the sound bar connected to my TV. I make my way to the living room. I’m greeted with the sweet sounds of Cyndi Lauper, that women is so amazingly awesome. Girls just want to have fun blares through my speakers filling the walls of the apartment, the floor vibrates so hard I can feel it in my feet. My neighbours must hate me right now, I definitely will be getting dirty looks all week from the concierge. I catch sight of Jessica in the kitchen, she is shaking her hips whilst she lines up shot glasses whistling away to the song. When she sees me her eyes light up. “Okay don’t freak but I would so go gay for you...you look amazing!!” I twirl for her letting my hair dance round my neck. I strike a few poses acting as if the paparazzi are taking my photo. “Holy cow I can see your nipple bars, that’s hot!” My confidence quickly lowers. I shield my chest using my arms. “Shit” I curse. “I better get changed” Michael hated my nipple bars; he tried many times to convince me to get rid of them but I just told him no every time. I went through the pain of getting them, they are here to stay plus...diamonds on my nipples look good. I swiftly turn but Jessica pulls my arms to face me towards her. “Listen babe I can only see them as I am literally in you face , so if anyone is this close to you, its gunna be because you want them this close, do you understand me “ I look into her eyes .I can see the mischief lingering through her irises . I break out in laughter. She was right ,I knew she was but that’s not shy I was !laughing. Seeing her trying to act so assertive made my belly jiggle and throat cackle. She pushes me playfully then nudges 5 shots classes towards me. “The Uber is due is 11 minuets, back these and we will be off” I stare down in shock. I don’t drink ,I mean I haven’t in a good while , when I do its a glass of wine with a steak, I peek up at her. “What is this, it smells like liquorice” Jessica smiles wickedly at me. She whispers closely to my ear “Sambuca”. She grabs a glass, winks at me then backs it, slamming the glass down on the counter top. I stare at her for a brief second before I copy her actions. The liquid burns my throat causing me to gag a little, it tastes horrible, I hate liquorice. I quickly realised the taste wouldn’t get any better so I back all 4 other shots one after the other. Jessica eggs me on with cheers and manly sounds which almost cause me to spit my last shot everywhere. “Ooo Uber is here! Lets go!” She grabs my hand and we make a dash for the door. 315Please respect copyright.PENANAme3DuWMdpK
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“You said 10 minutes” I question her whilst grabbing for my purse . “Well, isn’t it a good thing you backed your drinks then” she laughs whilst beaming a perfect smile at me. I could already feel the alcohol taking its toll on me. I was becoming hot, my vision slightly slower. I felt giddy. We made our way through the well lit corridor , into the silver elevator and headed for the ground floor. We both squeaked with joy as we made our way outside, I had high hopes this was going to be a great night. Me and Jessica were greeted with the crisp cold air, it made such a pleasant difference from the weather earlier. Jessica signalled the Uber driver with a wave who then drove up to the concierge porch. I greeted the driver with a friendly hello. I get comfortable in the back seat; Jessica joins me in the back also greeting the driver with an enthusiastic hello. I wind down my window as I love the feeling of the cold air on my skin, I’m sure Jessica doesn’t mind because she sighs in relief when the breeze hits her glammed-up face. She runs her small hands through her wavy locks then nuzzles into her seat. “There’s a diversion so its gong to take us a little longer to get into the city” the Uber driver informed us. Jessica waves him off, “That’s fine just get us there please” The Uber driver nods to Jessica through the reflection of his wind mirror. We approach a traffic light that lit the car red. It gave me a second to think. “Hold on why are we going to the city?” Silence .Jessica looks at me before looking out the window again pretending to concentrate on whatever it is in her line of sight. I nudge her, still nothing. Okay this is feeling a bit weird. “Excuse me sir, where are we going” I ask him with urgency. He looks at me confused “We are going to Sensation mam” I just look at him , I try to say something but no words come out, the traffic light changes to green and we our on our journey again. She hands me a red flask then winks at me, I take the flask , I take a gulp of whatever liquid is inside , I imminently regret it as the liquid is thick, it’s taste resembles cheap aerosol. She sucks in a breath, “If I told you, you would have said no now drink, we are having fun tonight Lillian” I can’t believe this. Why on earth couldn’t we go to local clubs , we live in bloody London...there’s hundreds. I take several sips then hand it back, I would need more than a few shots and sips from a hip flask to prepare me for tonight. It was almost a guarantee I was gong to see Michael.