父亲把门锁起来以后,在门外依舊对我唾罵不停,終於令向來對他百般隱忍的母亲給徹底惹怒!她沒忍住沖父親顶嘴。隨即,我便听见『啪!』的響亮一声。
随即,是母親咬牙忍住的哭泣碎声。。。
門外的母親哭得很是凄凉,但我知道母親的眼泪里同時包含着对我的不满……
就算预料会有今天如此,可当父亲知道了以后还是接受不来。他一脸想找个洞钻进去的受辱模样和那被怒氣給布满了血丝的眼球,令我处在一个窒息的空间里,不知所措……
我能做的,就只是紧紧地抱着自己,除了我自己,也没有人愿意抱着我,给予我一直渴望,也應該有權利卻無法得到的温暖……
给予我安慰……
那个叫吉荣的混混将鸡奸我的事情到处炫耀,而這樣被他一闹便一發不可收拾!校长已經无法以他的勢力去掩盖真正發生過的事实。
而明明是受害者的我原本期待慶幸、卻又害怕地等待着有谁来揭发真相!可看着啥都不知情的警官莫名其妙地将我的双手給拷上,而一邊的袁梦吉荣還轻松自如的囂張模樣,他雙手插在褲兜裡,仅仅跟隨我的后头罷了……
警局里的挂钟向我说我已经待在口供室有將近三个小时了。。。袁梦吉荣在走之前还不忘一臉鄙视地掃視我,他身後像靠山一樣的家人前撲後續地,一个接著一个去無比关怀着他。他之後不曉得背对着我说了些什么,他的母亲突然表情一驚一乍,之後扭頭便指著我,對我破口大骂!那艳红的指甲在空中上下飞舞。。。
父亲终于来了,可身边陪伴的不是母亲,而是一个穿着西装的年轻小伙子。可这也无所谓了,因为父亲的到来将那包围着我的寒冷给驱散了。我忍不住對他掉了一直忍耐著的眼泪,可是因为父亲是个严肃的人,所以我赶紧抬手抹掉了!
父亲来到了以后要求和受害者,也就是我单独会面。在另一间房里,我一直低著頭,不敢开口说话。
我一直以来从未在父母面前坦诚过在学校被欺凌的事,因为就算说了也是无济于事。而且最重要的是,要是说了,他们肯定接受不了……
是父亲他划破了沉默,对我说:『和警方说没有这样的事就行了。』
那一刻,父亲的话像一把猝不及防地刀子,直接戳進我的心臟,将我的眼泪和心跳给瞬即冻结了一樣……
我心灰意冷地點了點頭。。。
回到家后,父亲第一件事就是将我给鎖進房間內关起来!我可以靠聽的本事,聽見他开始对周遭的任何事物發洩他心中的羞辱和憤怒。
而父亲每一次都把母亲当泄恨工具,這次也不例外。
也因为我的到来,母親從最開始的庇護、疼愛到漸漸地遷怒與怨恨,隨著歲月,隨著我的意識建立、清晰逐渐积累。
我木納地走到书桌前,默默地打开抽屉,拿起里面的相簿。
相簿裡都存有我小时候最开心,最温暖的美好记忆。
第一张照片,是母亲抱着一个样子雖然奇怪,但长得挺精灵的婴孩。旁边是父亲,他在笑。
第二张照片,是父亲抱着大约一岁左右的孩子,可是那孩子的眼睛一大一小,頗有些叫人移不開視線,感覺就像有两个不一样的脸給结合在一起的詭異……
第三张照片,是一个穿着幼稚园校服的小男孩。男孩戴上了口罩,卻依然无法遮掩那差异巨大的双眼,而孩子虽然是戴了口罩,但我相信孩子当时是在歡樂地笑着,毕竟那个时候的残酷还未降临,他还不知道未来等着他的是什么人生……
第四张照片,是男孩抱着一个婴儿,是一个長相很可爱的婴儿。男孩子這時已经一年级了,可是却拥有一张令人看了都忍不住震撼的脸蛋。。。
第五张,也就是最后一张了……
父亲,母亲,妹妹,还有我。大家站在樱花树下的全家福。当时妹妹已经两岁了。
那时候的我还没有被嫌弃,还是在父母的爱意下快乐長大的孩子……
拿在手上的相簿十分厚实。我还很清楚地记得那时候的我才四岁。
我两只手紧紧地抓住父母的大手掌来到百货公司,被一排陈列在玻璃橱柜里的相簿给吸引了。
母亲说只能买一本,父亲放开我的手任我去挑,我挑了一个最厚最大本的!差些连我自己都拿不起。
可我还是兴高采烈地努力举起相簿,跑向在远处注视着我、等待着我的父母。父亲之後把我抱起来,笑着问我为什么会挑这本蓝色的相簿?
因为我要永远都和你们拍照啊……
都几乎七八年了,被我埋在抽屉暗格里的相簿却一点灰尘也没有。因为這麼多年来我不曾忘记過它的存在。
我的生活太悶了,能消磨时间的就只有不断地重温我最喜欢的過去回忆。
它和原来的一样還是蓝色,只是没了以前那么亮眼嶄新而已…
在黑暗里,我活了很久。第二天,父亲提著一个大行李箱,什么也没说,就将它交给我,然後载我来到了机场以后,不知道父亲是以什么心情和表情看着我上飞机的,我只是知道我自始至終都不敢回头看父亲一眼。
『你是谁?』
我意想不到,你是第一个没被我样子給吓着的人。
我闯进了你的地盘真的十分抱歉,可是这里没有写明是你的地盘才对。你真有趣。
『是来陪伴我的人吗?』
说完这句话的她眼眶里再也容纳不下眼泪,她對著我高興地哭了。
『谢谢你......』
我第一次看见一个人挂着眼泪在笑…没有悲伤或者愤怒,满满的感激与懇切,从她的眼神里向我傾斜,向我訴說。
她是第一个…也是唯一一个需要我的人......她是愿意张开怀抱拥抱我的人......
她是一个很漂亮的女孩。眼睛细长,高挺微翘的鼻子和红润的嘴唇。可是瘦削的身形和苍白的皮肤告訴我她很虚弱。
因为就像一个包袱,她和我一樣都被人嫌弃,而想尽办法被丢弃的包袱。
这里真的很僻静,走了不久后就能看见一间很破烂的小木屋。
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