抵達永安時,已是初冬。161Please respect copyright.PENANAMvHsdcrolM
161Please respect copyright.PENANAl4ovKlPwgp
又回到了常樂宮的品秋閣,我的牢籠。或許如此形容對它不公,畢竟我於此有享不盡的榮華富貴,亦是錦衣玉食,還有人人艷羨的美名。天底下哪有這樣的牢籠。161Please respect copyright.PENANAGtmsopZome
161Please respect copyright.PENANAZO32B3RJyG
永安甚麼都好,常樂宮甚麼都好,品秋閣也甚麼都好,唯一不好的便是,欠缺了他。我心愛的他,鍾愷。161Please respect copyright.PENANAHW5VrDPqvj
161Please respect copyright.PENANAcjkMMSQ2Hg
此處是孤獨的。161Please respect copyright.PENANASplT0i7dEe
161Please respect copyright.PENANA1gG1imV34i
我走出閣樓,倚欄而坐。今日夜色極美,泛著黃光的玉輪點亮了半邊天,遠方一片藍黑,只有樹影是昏黑的。枝丫筆直,直竄天際,好似要將那明月捅破。月會破麼?破了會有繁星瀉下麼?繁星可為雙手所持麼?我大概是醉了,醉倒在這月明星稀的美景中。品秋閣之所以稱為「品秋」,便是因為此處乃常樂宮中賞秋的絕妙之地。樓台高築,視野開闊,滿園秋季草植。161Please respect copyright.PENANAEcupmPTa0L
161Please respect copyright.PENANAnNepZ3LIGb
雖則有美月可賞,我依然不喜秋日。161Please respect copyright.PENANAsKhnQmaCIV
161Please respect copyright.PENANAruWDpyscMk
枯葉橫飛,紅花凋敝,好生蕭瑟。當年我是秋日入的永安,如今再度於秋日與鍾愷別離。但願來日我不再恨秋。161Please respect copyright.PENANADDOsx7STGE
161Please respect copyright.PENANAF8G78omPvo
我命侍女拿來好酒,打算今日與這玉輪不醉不歸。片刻,侍女一手舉著燭火,一手抱酒,肘上還掛了件長袍,她笨拙地向我走來。她說已入冬,夜間清涼,郡主小心著涼。她將燭火與美酒放在我的腳邊,替我穿戴好長袍,又款款入內。這侍女機靈得很,總是知道何時該留,何時該走。我忽而想起一事,又將她喊住:「替我拿來那幅雙雁齊飛的繡品。」她回我一聲「唯」,便入屋內替我尋找。未幾,她拿來那幅我自大嬿帶回的雙雁齊飛。161Please respect copyright.PENANAjhsKNxfXbF
161Please respect copyright.PENANAt8wLxNEeTi
青山綠水,兩雁齊飛。161Please respect copyright.PENANAdwlzx8E1cE
161Please respect copyright.PENANAV4TpwObyUg
這幅繡品不但繡工了得,更滿含韓家嫂嫂對我與鍾愷的祝福。我越看越喜歡,尤其那對比翼雙飛的大雁。161Please respect copyright.PENANAq0Z6fy6vRJ
161Please respect copyright.PENANAT0LRM8QKuA
我與韓家嫂嫂先前從未見過,數月前返嬿方相識。嫂嫂姓鄢,名喚惢晞。她很是特別,玊珧哥哥,華照與鍾愷對她褒貶不一,這使我很想結識她。鄢惢晞之父鄢霆鈞原為陛下近臣,他至嬿國任職不久,我便應召入永安,所以初時我對鄢惢晞並無好感。華照常於信中以「妖婦」、「偽善」稱之,鍾愷則認為其「宛如故人」。韓哥哥亦甚少於信中提起她,偶然言「家有賢妻」、「惢晞溫婉」、「幸得其相伴」,可見她在韓哥哥眼中是頂好的。161Please respect copyright.PENANAWPdS5lPADn
161Please respect copyright.PENANAgZJZm6OTLd
韓哥哥並無撒謊,只需稍與鄢惢晞相交,便會因著她的良善嬌憨而喜歡她。剛回嬿國之初,她有意疏遠我,亦不願與我相視,似乎不太歡迎我。後來我才明白,她與華照都誤會了,她們誤以為我傾心韓哥哥,其實我心中之人一直是鍾愷。礙於鍾愷的家世,以及我的郡主身份,我們不願過早將彼此的心意公諸於世,生怕招惹是非。161Please respect copyright.PENANARkBNLB8fad
161Please respect copyright.PENANATCcTEoYeH4
那夜鍾愷抱著淚眼婆娑,喝得不醒人事的鄢惢晞從練武場走出,我當真氣惱,眼見著韓哥哥亦沉了臉。韓哥哥本陪我尋鍾愷,怎料撞見這般亂哄哄的事,我便氣沖沖地回了西廂。我自是知道他與韓家嫂嫂絕無可能,可依舊氣不過。我久居永安,與他分離兩地,時常不知他過得如何。若他日日於嬿國慷慨「營救」那些落寞的少婦,我又該當如何⋯⋯為此,我冷落了鍾愷幾日。161Please respect copyright.PENANAs1XwrcEzXH
161Please respect copyright.PENANAbtHzFk3Cag
後來入嬿宮伴駕,我偶遇入宮述職的韓哥哥,便同他閒聊幾句。鍾愷忽到,韓哥哥急急離去。我還惱著鍾愷,便繞至後苑,卻仍被他追上。他將我攔下,同我說:「已好些日了,我們莫要耗費光陰於誤會上。」他說得有理,可不知為何那日我便是想使小性子。鍾愷見我無動於衷,便自身後拿出一副搖鈴。他晃動手臂,搖鈴便叮叮地響了起來。我連忙握著他的手,制止搖鈴發出聲響。我氣鼓鼓地責罵他:「若招來了人該當如何!」他側著頭佯作思考,蹙眉噘嘴道:「鄰家夫人道,搖鈴最是哄孩童的好玩物,這顏家小淑女怎的更氣惱了⋯⋯」我噗嗤了聲,著實被他氣笑了。他見我樂開顏,便急忙摟住我。也罷,我已鬧了好些日,再矯情,便當真蹉跎歲月了。我從衣袖中掏出那日韓家嫂嫂教我縫製的雙雁戲水繡品給他看,他雙手摟著我,我便將繡品遞到他眼前。隔著錦綢,我看見他在點頭。161Please respect copyright.PENANAD4wIg5KqVw
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日光,織錦,朦朧的他。161Please respect copyright.PENANAnm1AOeNUqh
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忽地,他俯身吻我。他的吻總是輕輕的,柔情似水,如同他對我的愛意,看似平淺實則深厚。如此的美好時刻,我忘了正身處王宮,忘了我們還未向大王請旨賜婚,忘了我終將回到永安。我緊緊地抱著他,抱著那遙不可及卻又近在眼前的幸福。161Please respect copyright.PENANA2Ci7jg6oav
161Please respect copyright.PENANA7M7e5wqECx
「我明白了……今日宮中佳人多,鍾愷定是看上哪家姑娘了!」161Please respect copyright.PENANAb9X2IgPC7y
161Please respect copyright.PENANAbvvLkwzkzx
忽有人至,聽這聲音,當是韓家嫂嫂了。我急忙埋首於鍾愷胸前,好生羞人。161Please respect copyright.PENANAHpvBFvqWz0
161Please respect copyright.PENANAVg83EhVie6
噹的一聲,酒罈跌落至地,碌碌向前滾去,又咚地撞上木櫃。161Please respect copyright.PENANAEo38sFwE0a
161Please respect copyright.PENANAITa3ZxieFq
原來昨日我飲著酒便睡著了。原來我只是夢回大嬿。161Please respect copyright.PENANA4ev7eud9TT
161Please respect copyright.PENANAmypH5ctKWD
我自榻上起來,坐於鏡前梳妝。院外一陣嘈雜,而後侍女至。她神采飛揚地走向我,眼中盈滿熱淚,她說:「郡主,陛下為郡主與鍾將軍賜婚了!」我激動地放下手中的篦子,滿懷欣喜,不禁與侍女相擁而泣。侍女讓我安坐,她要替我好好打扮一番,再請畫師描畫一幅。她尋來一身水藍曲裾,為我梳了墮馬髻,又以雙蝶銀簪為飾。161Please respect copyright.PENANAWMoLxfKkxw
161Please respect copyright.PENANAuOILtdZfZ0
午後,畫師至品秋閣為我作畫。我坐於昨夜賞月之處,手持團扇,眉眼帶笑。約莫兩個時辰,畫師將描好的畫作給我過目,我甚是歡喜,命其將畫作裱裝。這畫遲些我要帶回嬿國,我要讓鍾愷知道能與他攜手並肩令我有多高興。161Please respect copyright.PENANAMUnGPLr6ze
161Please respect copyright.PENANA1FhSmlb0BG
畫師走後,陛下便命人前來宣旨,詔令已出,我當真要成為「鍾夫人」了。161Please respect copyright.PENANAmgLFG3edj6
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遙想年少與鍾愷確認彼此心意之時,鬧了不少笑話。161Please respect copyright.PENANAxTeLMPbrmp
161Please respect copyright.PENANAolgqlFeEG2
當年嬿宮選拔侍衛,鍾愷為救即將中劍的我,不但險些失了入選資格,還因此受了傷。後來我便常藉送藥為由,至營中尋他,以報他的救命之恩。那傻子卻整日出言不遜,氣得我打算不再理他。他卻抓著我的手不放,訕然道:「世人皆言顏家姑娘聰明伶俐,柔姌你怎的便是不明我的心意?」161Please respect copyright.PENANAcBFrfdfMBe
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原他是想我多些來尋他,如此才不願好好換藥。161Please respect copyright.PENANATJtK3AAmgp
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他大概真是個笨腦袋。161Please respect copyright.PENANACVlhM5rW2Q
161Please respect copyright.PENANA6e6FGGtRpC
那年我替韓老夫人送糕點至軍營,順道探望韓家兩位兄長,恰見韓大哥哥正火冒三丈地訓斥一名新兵。我便上前詢問韓哥哥,為何向來好說話的大哥哥對新兵如此苛刻。韓哥哥告訴我,那新兵是個呆子,該是受責罰。原是前些日,那新兵於訓練時,誤傷了陛下特派至大嬿協助訓練的大將軍,韓大哥哥讓他向將軍請罪,他便空手而去,與將軍道「前來請罪」。161Please respect copyright.PENANApKqLfEm1zA
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我聽了,於一旁捧腹大笑。161Please respect copyright.PENANARpAFVwl7oS
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韓大哥哥訓斥他,他便一動不動地杵在原地,不曾還口,臉無慍色。161Please respect copyright.PENANATsMHn3KmfK
161Please respect copyright.PENANA3YbWyr1nrl
直至嬿宮選拔,我原打算離宮歸家,卻見那傻新兵站於擂台上,我便留下觀賽。出乎意料地,他為人處事雖笨拙,武藝卻是不錯,將對手打得氣喘吁吁。161Please respect copyright.PENANAm1anDMPTcL
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那新兵便是鍾愷,呆頭呆腦的鍾愷。161Please respect copyright.PENANAnsuk20t0vH
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我便是喜歡他的笨拙,喜歡他的沉默寡言。他不會同我說很多甜言蜜語,亦很少同我分享軍中事務。他歡喜,便將我緊緊摟在懷中,他悲傷,便無言靠著我的肩膀。他說得最多的一句話是:161Please respect copyright.PENANA81q0VRecQ1
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「柔姌,你何時嫁我為妻?」161Please respect copyright.PENANAkU9nUdyDJz
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如此,我又想起了韓家嫂嫂。161Please respect copyright.PENANAekx6xYztk6
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當日韓家嫂嫂一臉正色地問我,是否當真喜歡他,我毫不猶豫地點頭。我以為她猜到那日是我與鍾愷於嬿宮幽會,便急急認下了。她問我,若嫁他需屈人之下,可還願嫁,我回她:「若當真愛一人,何須介意身份之高低,能長相廝守已是莫大的恩德。」不過,我總覺得這問題十分怪異,莫非鍾愷有了更鍾愛的女子,並打算以正妻之禮迎入府?我想了想,這是絕無可能的。他身上所配之物皆出自我手,還日日至韓府尋我,若有別心,想必分身無瑕。161Please respect copyright.PENANAkDzys5D1t1
161Please respect copyright.PENANAzDSOthmcNo
後來韓哥哥告訴我,嫂嫂誤會了,還命人收拾韓府的雲峰殿。實則,我想入的是鍾府碧月閣。161Please respect copyright.PENANAlK00o5zmeT
161Please respect copyright.PENANAm4XDcS5Z08
成婚前夜,我自永安北上,於汋郡落腳。黃昏之時,侍女送來鍾愷的信,一封很長的信。往日他惜字如金,從不多言。161Please respect copyright.PENANABOITG85vwx
161Please respect copyright.PENANA7OnpjzcVtb
他於信中告知我,他仿著韓家嫂嫂替我收拾的雲峰殿,於鍾府造了一座「碧月閣」。他知我最愛憑欄賞月,便將府中最佳的賞月之處留給了我,以此造就碧月一閣。他在院中架了一座鞦韆,又命人造了石棋桌,如此動靜結合,安逸舒適。他還告訴我,他命人至渤海尋了好些海貝,親手製了一簾貝鈴,並將其掛於牖上。至於內屋,他猜想我已看厭了秋日之景,便備上了芙蕖紅紗幔枕被。如此,不論四季如何變換,我仍可於鍾府內耳聽風鳴,目睹春色。161Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6YhwjEWMZ
161Please respect copyright.PENANA2GC4TqxqyQ
他說,過了明日,他便與我長伴終身。161Please respect copyright.PENANANIClDfm30m
161Please respect copyright.PENANADUx8i5OFUH
我抱著信件入睡,安穩地,歡喜地,期盼地。161Please respect copyright.PENANAeXEaZtZlbL
161Please respect copyright.PENANAIR9UF6zwoh
日出,侍女將我喚醒。我推開窗,眺望遠方。金燦燦的旭日自東面而起,大地一片明黃,便連光禿的枝丫亦身著華服。今日必定是好個日子。161Please respect copyright.PENANAENZEiKlMnH
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今既嫁人為婦,便該有成人之姿。161Please respect copyright.PENANAkogPPJ98xJ
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侍女將我的長髮盤起,又將其套在烏色巾幗內。她自木匣中取出一面金芙蕖簪,將其牢牢簪在巾幗前,又以一對金蝶釵於兩側為飾。我原以為髮髻如此便完了,卻見侍女又拿來一簾鑲了紅寶石的金飾。她邊將那簾金飾掛在我的腦後,邊說道:161Please respect copyright.PENANAFII0YcNrtx
161Please respect copyright.PENANAfUP8WuUG6K
「離宮前,皇后趁郡主試妝,悄然放至嫁妝內。皇后言,郡主盡心侍奉多年,如同她親生的小女,雖不捨你遠嫁,卻又為你覓得良人而心安。若婚後得空,亦可攜鍾將軍入宮探望,品秋閣是郡主在永安的家。」161Please respect copyright.PENANA8C7PvNIXOB
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皇后,一直是那個知書達禮的國母。161Please respect copyright.PENANAbbpDCRyGei
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時候不早了,侍女又為我上妝。潔面,付粉,施朱,抿唇,妝面便妥當了。161Please respect copyright.PENANAi3kL3O9Bmp
161Please respect copyright.PENANACkoX4qylbK
我換上親手繡製的嫁衣,那件離宮前夜,還在修飾的嫁衣。按傳統,大霽女子婚服當以烏袍紅袖為尊,但我鍾愛紅衣,便捨青取紅。161Please respect copyright.PENANA36VpXdsEuY
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紅袍黃袖,禁步及膝。161Please respect copyright.PENANAbdP7AHe9x8
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我的紅嫁衣,是欲嫁良人的灼熱。161Please respect copyright.PENANA32Yyczmgnt
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侍女捧著鏡子往後退,我於鏡中望見了紅衣的自己與鍾愷。我們並肩而立,攜手相伴。161Please respect copyright.PENANARw3PBzi0Mc
161Please respect copyright.PENANAenhX1PXGNZ
侍女為我戴上紅面紗,又讓我握住彩扇,微微抬高,彩扇擋在我的眼眸前。我望著地,依靠侍女的帶領走出門,又緩緩步向那坐了近月的紅馬車。我踏上梯子,鑽進馬車。161Please respect copyright.PENANAnFUD0U6Ge6
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片刻,喜樂響徹汋郡。161Please respect copyright.PENANAOk5gjxITxu
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馬車緩緩向北駛去,搖搖晃晃,我出嫁了。我耳聽金飾叮鈴,想像著鍾府碧月閣那簾海貝,想像著親友何其喜氣洋洋,想像著鍾愷身著紅袍待我歸的模樣。161Please respect copyright.PENANAzoOGz3ATFl
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我與他相距不過百里,隔著一座城門。161Please respect copyright.PENANAldwsiCPDQa
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涼風颼颼,黃葉飄飄,我想,我愛上了秋。161Please respect copyright.PENANAAtZWRBZJBB