Solace. It's the one thing, i've truely sought in life. Its Quiet. I love quiet. It's peaceful, calm and soothing. Occasionally I wished for more, someone to keep me company someone to spend my days with. But eventually I stopped wanting it as much. I found it a burden, a chore. It took more energy than I could muster. I pondered to myself again and again questioning why? Why wasn't i normal? I got lost in these unyielding thoughts. I was at my loneliest in quiet. I liked being alone, yet I hated feeling lonely. But eventually, I began to welcome it. Especially at night before I'd cry myself to sleep hoping for the night to pass faster and the daylight to shine. But now, I wish the night could stretch on. I hoped the night would last longer. I prayed the night would hold my tears and soothe me to sleep. It's a comfort. Like an embrace. No one could see my suffering. Not that I wanted anyone too. I was ashamed, feeling like I had no reason to feel sad, no reason to cry myself to sleep. But the night, it offered its comfort. It offered quiet. I was alone but not lonely. The soft, gentle glow of the moon illuminated my window. While before, I was stuck in the dark, utterly afraid and alone. Now I'm still alone, but I'm not afraid, and the dark isn't so scary as it once was. I've realized that the night offered me more comfort than the blazing light of the sun ever could. It isn't solace, I sought. It was security. It was the assurance that I didn't have to feel so alone in the dark. I love the night.