There are a few things that are certain in life. One of them is taxation and another one is death. I noticed as well, that the older you got, the more you had to visit the doctor or have tests at the hospital. Here I was once again getting test after test and thinking that my body is slowly giving up. The doctor tells me that my blood pressure is too high, I need to lose weight and I need to exercise more. Besides all this, I had to smoke less and eat more healthy. What can I do except nod and agree with what he says? It all makes sense, and I am determined to follow his advice!
I went home with more medicine to add to my daily intake. It seems as if every time I have seen a doctor, I was given more medicine! I knew that I could live a better lifestyle. I just needed willpower. I was also proud of myself that I did not smoke since the doctors. I know this was just a few hours, but for me, this was a miracle. It was only when I have seen the news, that I smoked a cigarette. Who would blame me? The war in Ukraine has threatened world peace. Inflation is going up and up. There was no good news whatsoever. The world was a mess and run by idiots. At times, smoking a cigarette seemed like it should be the least of my concerns.
Do not think that I am a grumpy man. I was a happy man. I had a job that I liked. I had a good marriage while it lasted. I had two children that I was proud of. It was good that I was not poor or rich. I had a comfortable life. This was an achievement in a world where so many people did not have basic needs. I had nothing to complain about.
Despite that I knew I should not complain, I had some problems. I worried a lot. What would happen If I lost my job? I was getting old now and it was hard for middle-aged men to get jobs. As a divorced man, I also wondered if I would ever find love again. The thing that hurt the most was that I missed my children. They were now adults and had their own lives to lead. I could understand that they did not have lots of time and they did fit me in their schedule when they could or had a bad conscience. Still, I missed them.
The big question I asked myself over and over was what did life have to offer now? Was it now just a waiting game until I would die and be a forgotten part of history? I felt as if I achieved all that I could. This meant that life now was a Status Quo. There seemed to be little hope about the future, as there was not much of a future left. As I said, I considered myself a happy person, but it was a constant fight not to let fear and depression become a problem.
I visited the local Church. This church had been part of my life since I was a child. It is hard to say how religious I was, but the church always gave me peace and comfort. It was the reason why I was at the church today. Maybe the place would give me hope and bring more happiness to my life. Just maybe it will give me a purpose.
As I sat in the church, my mind went back to my childhood. Everything was so easier back then. I was not worried about anything and life was about having fun. My childhood was a carefree place where everything was a fun adventure. It was a stress-free time. I walked to a statue in the church and asked God for help. I wanted to smile once again when I woke up. I did not want a life where I was just waiting for death. Imagine what life would be like as a child.
As I touched the statue, there was suddenly a fog around the statue. The whole church quickly filled with fog. I could not see anything except the statue. It became so much that I could not breathe. As I tried to breathe, I collapsed to the floor. I tried everything that I could. I could not even yell with pain. It felt as if my lungs were collapsing. I closed my eyes thinking If I was to die, then inside a church would be the best place to do it.
I no longer felt pain or suffering. I slowly could feel myself leaving my body. Everything went black.
“ Time to get up!”
That was my mother shouting. I was still alive! For some reason, I was in my old bedroom. This confused me but the only thing I could think about was that my mom has been taking care of me since what had happened at the church. I just sat on my bed and looked around. It was as if I was in a museum. There were posters of Madonna, Wham and Prince on my walls. The toys I had were still there. I could even see my old school bag! It was like being in a museum in the 1980s. All I could do is look around and remember how happy I was as a child. It was nice being at home. I could stay here a few days and let my mother feed me up and spoil me.
I could hear mom shout that she was on her way up. It was best that I dragged myself out of bed and look half ways decent. I sat at the side of the bed and tried to get out. As I did this, I fell to the floor. How could I fall out of the bed? It seemed as if the bed was a lot higher than it should be. The fall hurt so much, that I started crying. This confused me a lot, as to why would I be crying. It has been decades since I last cried. Another thing that confused me was my voice. It was so high-pitched. It was a soprano voice.
This made me look in the mirror. My heart started racing and hopping as I was shocked at the image that has looked back at me. I was a child! This made me look down and confirm that I was once again a child. I could see my toes! This was so unbelievable and bizarre. How could I be a child again? The only answer that could explain this was that it was a dream. I would just have fun and relive the good days!
Mom came into my bedroom. She was young once again. She was smiling as she put my school uniform on the bed. Then she asked if I needed help to get dressed. She laughed and told me it was hard for her to remember that I was already 11 years old. I mumbled back that it was hard for me to believe that I was once again an 11-year-old. Then I looked at the school uniform. I always hated this uniform. It was a sailor top, shorts, long socks and Mary Janes. I always felt that it was so old-fashioned and something a sissy boy would wear. Mom laughed as she heard my growls as I put on the uniform. She even told me that I could decide what I should wear when I was an adult! Little did she know that I was an adult yesterday.
I was still confused when we ate breakfast. It was also so long ago that I ate cereal full of sugar. Now I could eat it and not worried about gaining weight. Mom noticed that I was silent and asked me what the problem was. It was a dream, so I could tell her whatever I wanted. I asked her if she believed in time travel. I gave her an example of a middle-aged man that wakes up as a child and relives his childhood. Mom smiled and told me it sounded like a bad movie. Imagine having to go through childhood again. It would not be fun. Besides that, it was scientifically impossible to travel through time. I suppose she was right. This was just a dream.
It was time to walk to school. The school was not that far away from me. I just had to walk through the park. This made me think of how things were different for me as a child. Children were not escorted to school because their parents were afraid of something bad would happen. It also gave me some exercise. It was strange seeing the old cars from the 1980s and the fashion as well as hairstyles. I knew that this was a dream, but I was excited about going to school. I would meet my old friends once in a while and we could play football (soccer) during the lunch break and maybe even after school. The walk in the park was also great. I loved looking at nature and especially the swans that were in the pond. It was also good that walking did not wear me out. If I was my middle-aged version of myself, I knew that I would have needed several rests. I was now full of energy! It made me feel great!
When I did come to school, I was met by Adrian. He started teasing me because I was short for my age and pushed me to the floor. When I got up on my feet again, he pushed me down again. I then remembered who Adrian was. How was it that I could even forget him? He was the school bully and I was one of the children he cherished bullying the most. I got back on my feet again and told him that it was not cool that he was a bully. I looked around at the other children that were there looking at me as I was bullied. I would imagine that they were relieved that they were not the victim. I asked them why they did not help me and together we could stand up to any bully. They did not respond. Adrian did respond by telling me I sounded like an adult and then he pushed me to the ground again. This time, he kicked me in the stomach. I could not breathe and the pain was immense. If I was to wake up from this dream, now would have been a good time.
Rocco was beside me as I curled up clenching my stomach. Rocco was my best friend at school. It was so good to see him. You see, Rocco died at a very young age in a car accident. He was only 27! That was one of the worse times in my life. It's so hard seeing your lifelong friend die. Now I could see him as he tried to help me to my feet. I gave him a huge hug and told him how much I missed him. Rocco looked very confused and reminded me that I have seen him yesterday. Of course, he was right. I was still thinking like I was an adult. It was hard for me to remember that I was now a child.
I was now in class. It was so hard sitting and listening to teachers try to hammer knowledge in our heads. They were talking about things that I was not interested in. We had an English class where we learned how to use commas. This confused me. I wanted to shout out that they just had to use the Grammarly grammar checker. Then I realized that this was not even invented yet. I looked out the window during most of the classes. This was especially during maths class. I could not understand algebra. It was just a bunch of numbers and an x and y all over the place. I wanted to tell the teacher that we would never use this in our life. Then I had to remember I was a child, and a child would not know what we would use our not when we were adults. One thing I did know as a child was that school was boring. The hands of the clock moved so slowly. Every minute was like an hour.
I tried pinching myself and tried opening my eyes very wide. Then I realized that this may not have been a dream. It was too realistic to be a dream. I was somehow now back in the days that I was a child. I was once again a child. I honestly did not want to relive my life as a child. There would be no freedom. I could not do what I wanted. There was too much structure and repetition. School and homework, as well as being bullied.
The big question was how could I get back to the time where I belonged!
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