I woke up again, trying to breathe. It's the third time that night. It was still dark as hell outside, but I didn't care. I struggled to sit up. Once again, I'm confined to the stiff position of the brace. It holds me hostage. Stuck. If someone were to break in, there'd be no getting away. I'm held in place. I tear at the straps again, for the third time. Who cares if my parents come back in, demanding me to put the damn thing back on.
I'm at a loss of breath. The dreams are always there. Every. Single. Night. I can't close my eyes, or even blink without seeing the images. I'm tired of seeing it. It's making me go crazy. I wouldn't even be surprised if I became some kind of psychotic some time in the future. I can't control what happens right now, what would make me think I could in the future.
Forever stuck in place. It's been nearly three years. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't... I can't do anything. How do I fix this? I can't wait until it's over. It'll take too long. I don't care that I'll be crippled. It's better than this.
ns 15.158.61.54da2