I was walking home from school on a slow Monday afternoon. The weather was very cold and I could see the clouds darkening. I walked a bit faster since I don't want my hair to get soaked. After about ten minutes of hardcore fast walking I was at my front door. As I touched the door knob the rain suddenly poured down. I twisted the doorknob but it won't budge. Great. It's locked. I knock on the door three times and waited for one of my family members to open the door. A minute later, still no answer. I rang the door bell a million times but still no reply. For ten minutes I stood there, completely soaked and dying. Finally, I had had enough. I banged the door with all my might, rattling the glass screen door, and yelled "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW I AM BEING GANGRAPED BY A HUGE JAMAICAN BANANA! IF YOU STILL LOVE ME OPEN THE DOOR OR DIE IN TEN SECONDS!!" Immediately the door opened so fast I almost didn't see it. "WHERE?!" said my brother "oh. It's just you." I pushed him to the side and went straight for the kitchen. While I was stuffing myself with delicious food I saw a strange box shaped dildo in the middle of the kitchen table. Huh. That's strange. I put the food down on the counter and slowly tip toe towards it. You know. Just in case it's a bomb. A minute later I was finally in front of this strange box. I pick the box up with my two hands and licked it. Tastes fine I thought which means it's safe to open it! I ripped it open from the bottom and made a shocking discovery. It was just a damn banana. "It's not just a banana" someone whispered behind my back. I screamed. "WHAT TH-" I immediately turned and saw it was just my dear old mother. "Don't scare me like that. I thought you where the ghost of my ex I killed last year" I bellowed. My mother sat down in one of the chairs and talked about how the banana is very important to our family. At this point my brain blocked my mothers voice and thought of all the wonderful ways to deep throat that banana without gagging. "And that's the reason why our great great great great grandfather, the tickle master created this very banana to protect our family from evil spirits." My mother said. I don't know why but my brain decided to come back to reality. "What an amazing story" I said, "but can you please go away so I can deep throat this banana?" Her eyes widened and, and she nodded in understanding. "I see." she said she stood up from the chair and walked towards her bedroom. Finally. Some alone time with the banana. I took out the plastic thin gloves from my back pocket, put it on my pale hands and grabbed the banana. I kissed the tip of the banana and opened my pink mouth. Mmm.
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