A person, whose whole life has been mostly a single sensation. That of a tether around his neck. A person, who has his whole life danced, that to the beat of a foreign music. He felt the strings gash him, but he danced without a word. Like a lifeless puppet. A person, who has known for as long as he can remember, that the world won't accept him for anything but obedient. He has always known, that for the world he had before him, his wishes, his feelings, his dreams, his thoughts— nothing mattered. He didn't matter. A person, with no significance, no value, no recognition and no identity. A person, who is not a person.
That person has no life. And so he has the idea to make it 'literally' true. 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
His life, or whatever it was, was never understood. But maybe now, his visible 'bodily death' will be understood— Understood as a SIN!
HOW FAIR! So would I go to hell for that sin? That is one thing that scares me. That if I sleep today beside an empty bottle of poison, or one that's filled, it makes no difference. I'll wake up in hell anyway.
A person who never had anything he could call his own. A person who never dared to take from the world what he wants. Today he goes to, with all the courage he could bottle up, take something— His Life. (Or is it Death?) And then YOU tell him that it's not HIS to take. WOW!
Oh, thanks for the reminder. How arrogant of me. Of my life is not my own. It never was, just like EVERYTHING.
What about those I'm leaving behind?
Maybe, just maybe, if you only asked, "Do YOU really want that?"
"Do YOU really want to end YOUR life?"
"What about YOUR dreams?"
"What about the life YOU could have?"
"What about YOU?"
Only if you cared more about ME than what WRONG I was doing to OTHERS, I could've believed, could've hoped, could've trusted, could've tried, could've lived.
Even at the end, I'm WRONG TO WANT.
I thought maybe you could, even if only out of sympathy, care about what I WANT. But all that matters to you is what I can OFFER to YOU and to OTHERS.
Sorry. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you do care. Then please, tell me, "Your life is yours to take."
And then I will.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
