There are often moments that we look back on with mystery and intrigue. Moments that can’t really be explained, even with all the knowledge we have that we didn’t before. This was one of them.
I was only about sixteen years old and walking my dog outside in the rain. It had been a particularly rainy day and I was feeling a bit moody. While I walked my dog I saw something in the distance. It looked like a girl around my age. I made sure to check twice just in case my eyes were playing tricks on me, but there she was clear as day.
On occasion I would give her a glance with pretend indifference. As she came closer I realized that this girl was actually very stunning. She had semi-long red hair that just barely touched her shoulders, light green eyes, and a smile that almost felt contagious.
I could no longer pretend not to notice her at this point and went over to introduce myself. She looked at me with a sort of distant expression. There was something in her eyes that told me she was in another world completely. Still, she was simply too striking for me to ignore.
“What’s your name?” I asked her almost immediately.
“Sierra,” she said in a voice that was more like a whisper. It was so soft and frail I wondered if she was really as old as she looked.
“I’m Matt,” I said with a grin. “Are you new here?”
Sierra quietly looked past me at the end of the street where a very old tree stood. “No,” she said very shortly.
“Oh…. well…how long have you been here?” I asked.
She gave me that blank look again and for a moment I could have sworn I saw a smile. “Longer than you think,” she said.
I was about to throw in another icebreaker when she surprised me by saying, “I’m awfully lonely today. Do you think you could walk with me for a bit?”
I nodded, although I felt like the offer was a little too sudden. Still, it wasn’t often a pretty girl asked me to do anything with her. We spent a good amount of time looking at our neighborhood, admiring the beautiful trees and complimenting the various houses. The entire time Sierra never really said much about herself. In fact, she barely spoke more than a sentence.
Once the walk had been finished and my dog’s patience had run out it was time for me to go home. I turned to ask Sierra when I would see her again but found nobody there. You can imagine the expression on my face when I saw that. I looked in every direction wondering if she’d maybe walked away while I was looking elsewhere. No such luck. The rest of my day was spent figuring out what exactly had happened.
The next day after school I found myself having to talk the dog outside again. It was a tad bit aggravating but somebody had to do it. As I stood out there grumbling to myself I saw Sierra once again standing by my driveway.
“Where did you go yesterday?” I heard myself asking.
“Away for the day,” she said silently. “But I’d like to spend time with you if you don’t mind.”
I nodded. She was a strange girl, but there was something about her that made me want to be near her. When I was near her it almost felt as if all my anxieties had gone away for the moment.
“So do you go outside often?” I asked.
Sierra smiled at me and moved a couple steps in my direction. “Not really,” she said. “Only on days when it’s nice out like now.”
“Makes sense,” I said.
She nodded and continued to stare at the sky. I really wanted to ask her why she did this and where exactly she lived. However, I doubted she would even tell me anything. She seemed to be way too secretive.
More time passed and I had actually gone back inside to put the dog back and out again. She was still outside, except now she had found a resting spot on the grass. I sat next to her and she didn’t even object.
“So do you think you could tell me a little more about yourself?” I asked. “I hardly know anything and yet I’ve met you twice.”
Sierra’s face darkened for a moment. “I can’t tell you,” she said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because then it would ruin the moment I’m having with you right now.”
Those words sent an emotional spike through my heart. My mind felt like it been taken from my head and thrown into the sky. This girl looked so lonely, but at the same time she valued our time. It made little sense and I still wondered why she’d feel this way about a guy she’d just met, but I spent the rest of the day keeping her company without saying a word.
Days went by and I would see Sierra in her usual spot standing outside and waiting for me. I can still remember the warm look in her eyes as I stepped outside the door. She would always have her hair done nicely and a beaming smile to complete her gorgeous look. I myself started spending a little more time looking nice and would always fix my hair a bit. At this point I stopped questioning her and began to just enjoy our time together. We hardly ever said anything and when we did it didn’t last long. There was something about being with her that satisfied me enough. It was a sort of satisfaction one only felt under very special circumstances, and this was most certainly one.
Our visits went on for the next week or two. I tried to be as quiet as I could about it so nobody would ask me, “Why do you keep going outside until sunset?” Sometimes my parents would ask and I’d say that I’d be going to a friend’s house.
Then came the final day I saw her. I didn’t really know it was the final day at all. She was standing outside as usual waiting for me. She had the same smile when I approached her. Nothing seemed unusual at all. As usual, we stood outside and admired the sky.
“I won’t be able to see you after this,” said Sierra suddenly.
My head jerked in her direction so fast I thought it would snap. “What are you talking about?” I asked.
“It’s time for me to move on,” she said.
“Move on with what?”
She looked into my eyes with hers. I almost felt as if I’d been sucked completely into them. “My time is nearly up. Soon I’ll have to go away for a very long time.”
My mouth fell wide open at the same time my heart sunk.
“Why?” I asked in distraught.
Sierra looked at me with a smile. “It’s not like I’m going away forever. I’ll always be around in your memories.”
That didn’t really sound that great to me and I think she could tell.
“Whenever you want to see me just close your eyes and dream. I’ll always be there.”
“How do I know?” I asked.
She put a finger to my lips and said, “by not asking so many questions. Ignore your mind and listen to your heart. Only by doing that can you see me in your dreams.”
This was the most she’d ever spoken to me and I still savor every word.
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It wouldn’t be until many years later that I’d read about an old house being torn down. This house apparently was the home of a family. They left the house many years ago after their youngest daughter died in an accident. She had apparently been looking for a friend and had been hit by a car when she wasn’t looking. The story stayed in my mind for a long time along with the memories.
Nowadays I sit back and reminisce over forgotten old memories. I often feel my age during these moments, but then realize I won’t always be gone. In somebody’s collective memory I’ll exist in one way or another. It’s a very humbling thought. But then again, living is a very humbling experience.
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