"Meditation, like beneficial rain, irrigates the soul, causing deep thoughts to grow and blossom into petals of clarity, lighting up the garden of consciousness."
Rudy Merouchi
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Orange light emanated from the whole nightclub like a sunset. The reflections of neon lights formed circles on the walls, like stars. The crowd's dance steps shook the floor. These living children made even the Underworld tremble with fear. The screams of these wild beings, wiggling against each other in search of a passionate night, rekindled a flame in me that had been extinguished long ago.
That's why I come to this shabby dingy place, damp and sweaty with decay. I don't sing, I don't dance, I don't meet anyone. No, I'm here just to feel a thrill, while downing my drinks. As I drink quietly, I notice a man, his hood still on, leaning against the counter, face down, a glass of whisky in his hand. I've never seen you before. You and your slightly wet ebony-black hair, which hasn't seen scissors in months. You must have just walked into Yae's establishment, because yes, a man like you, I would have noticed earlier.
Outside, the rain was colder than an iced coffee, the wind didn't seem to be letting up, the gray clouds had covered the sky with their dirty sheet. The world was rumbling and my head was beginning to drum in cadence with this surrounding decadence, when a good thing happened... The damn place shut down when the lightning struck, and people stopped dancing to make way for panic... This landscape, was more beautiful than any waterfall deep in a forest. The laughter stopped, the smiles collapsed, leaving only incomprehension. People scrambled to find their way into the arms of their friends.
Look at them... Lost when they find themselves alone, in an unfamiliar and hostile environment. The human being is fascinating, so strong and so fragile at the same time. It was so fucking exciting to see them like that. I contemplated the spectacle for a while, leaning against the wall while the staff worked to fix the electrical issue. No lights stood out in the vast room, yet one thing stood out at the bar. My gaze instantly turned to that source, my vision gradually adjusting to the surrounding darkness, and I met the gaze of the man who had been at the bar earlier.
That look... Your gaze. It wasn't the light from the phones, nor the reflective glint in his eyes that made me notice. No, on the contrary, his irises were blacker than the black of this darkened room. His whole being exuded a dark, ominous aura. My gaze snapped away from him as a trembling little soul jostled me and excused herself, finding her way to the bathroom. I scanned the room with my eyes, memorizing every outburst and every battlefield. A brawl could be heard to my left, a couple were making out in the middle of the crowd, others were taking advantage of the moment to steal bottles from other tables and shouts filled the space, imploring the return of the party.
That's what I love, I like to see them tear each other apart, I find them more alive that way. I made my way back to the bar, a smile on my face, satisfied with the surrounding chaos. Sitting on my usual stool, where the music isn't so loud, where the air-conditioning isn't blowing too much, where I have an unobstructed view of the toilets, people come in to throw up or even to fuck.
The bartender approaches me. I don't give him time to open his pretty little pink mouth before I stare into his hazel eyes and ask him to serve me a board of tequila shots. A whisky upon arrival, then an espresso martini and finally, always before leaving, a board of five shooters all for myself, YES SIR! Sometimes, on my good days, I let him take one of my shots. As he set the tequilas in front of me, I grabbed one and hand it to him.
- Well, it's chaotic today.
He thanks me and drinks it along with me. I clink the glass on the bar, letting out a sound of happiness. I follow up with the next three with a shot before standing up and heading for the exit to catch a breath of fresh air. My throat was burning, I loved it. But I loved the clash of warmth against cold even more. I stepped outside, rejoicing in my beautiful evening. The rain pounded against the pavement, turning it grayer than it was. Everything was dark outside. A single street lamp stood in the left-hand corner of the bar. The village of Puento wants to become starry. Isn't it beautiful, the stars, and as a bonus, total darkness... I loved being here, in a fascinating place, full of dim-witted mini kingpins.
I walked towards the park in front of the club. I lay down on the old wooden bench ready to disintegrate, on which I'd carved my first name with a knife during my first visit to the "Yae" bar. My bender that night was memorable, and I must have left at least 150 dollars in booze and a few tapas. After several sprees in the club, the manager, whom I've never met, left me a black card at the counter, entitling me to a free drink every day. What an incredible person, finally someone recognized my drinking talents. All he wanted was to win my loyalty, but it worked! Still stretched out on that old bench, the leaves now surrounded me and fluttered above me in the wind. I stood there for a moment, gazing up at the sky, letting the cold rain crash against my pale skin, the muffled music playing in the background. A leaf scratched my hand, a gentle pain and warmth permeating the wound, from which fine drops of warm blood flowed, mingling with the cold drops, and a slight smile came over my face. What a beautiful combination. I closed my eyelids to appreciate this timeless moment. I already felt far from this world, like a stranger in this body, unable to remember the feeling you get when you're happy, when you really are. Just living in the moment, not dwelling on the past. I stretched out my arms towards the sky, my palms outstretched towards the vast grey space, waiting for more leaves to come and scratch me, so that I could feel something, again. After a few minutes, I raised myself slightly to a sitting position and faced you, from afar. There you were, against the gray stone wall of my favorite establishment. You were smoking, one foot raised back against the wall like some kind of scum, and you were looking at me. At least, I imagined you were, you were too far away for me to see the direction of your eyes, but I could feel you feeding off my soul. Your hood was down now, the rain falling on you like angels' tears lit not by divine light, but by that old street lamp. I was hypnotized by you. I imagine you had a reason for not using your hood in the pouring rain, maybe, yes, maybe you were like me, wanting the water to atone for your sins. You crushed the embers of your cigarette between your thumb and forefinger without batting an eyelid, before walking away, hands in the pockets of your black jacket. You looked more and more like a bird of misfortune, with your soaked hair falling slightly in front of your face. You ran your hand through your locks to lift them and I finally saw your face, your features, your blank expression marked by pain and insensitivity. I liked you so much that I started to feel hot. Very hot.
- Damn, I'm drunk. I said, laughing to myself and put my head in my hands.
Leaning forward, I felt dizzy. It's a beautiful evening, I thought once again, raising my head and pushing my hair away, displaying a smirk on my lips.
I didn't have an umbrella, I never carried one, but walking home in the rain made me happy. I loved that wet touch on my skin, the one that washes away our bad thoughts and sins. It's only when you're soaked to the tips of your toes that your spirits connect, bringing you to life as the cold assaults every last millimeter of your epidermis. I struggled to my feet, like an 80-year-old granny, and made my way back to my apartment.
The streets of Puento are silent at this time of night. You'd think there was something behind it. Of course, drugs of all kinds were exchanged and clans sometimes settled scores over the echo of sports cars, gunshots, screams and blood, but this village had at least one charm : being alive.
I wandered through alleyways filled with the faded signs of closed restaurants and stores. I walked slowly, taking my time to appreciate the calm surrounding and the alcohol still coursing through my veins. I didn't walk very straight, and my blurred vision didn't help me avoid stumbling on these dark cobblestone alleys, which were getting narrower and narrower. Arriving at a crossroads, I heard moans coming from one of the darkened alleys. Curious, I approached, pocking my head through to try to observe this love affair. Would you believe it! From what little I could make out, the man was taking great pleasure in burying his fingers inside her. It was rather pleasant to watch, like a poorly shot amateur sex film. He paced his movements according to her reactions. She didn't seem to be faking it. I continued to watch for a few minutes, enjoying the moist sounds reverberating to me. He fastened the pace until she reached climax, then the man put his hand above her head and lowered it to his crotch. She unzipped and pulled out his penis, which she engulfed in one gulp. That's what we call having a big mouth, I thought, my eyes widening in admiration. I felt my body getting warmer and warmer, and between the adrenaline, the alcohol and the excitement, I decided to get back on track and let the lovebirds continue their moments without someone taking pleasure watching them. I must have been a bit of a voyeur. No, I was, that's for sure, I'd just enjoyed watching them far too much. Another sin to add to my list, i guess.
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