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December breathed into the city of Seoul. Snow danced about on a holy night where people and their loved ones crowded together in unity. There wasn’t a single soul smiling, save for a young man who rushed through the gatherings.
With the likeness of wind, he rushed through the snow and ice, trying his best to keep his face hidden from the nightlife. He swiftly rushed to a small, three story apartment and with shaking hands, unlocked the door with his keys.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlkCecKedQ
Silence loomed in the apartment and slowly took a deep breath. His lips opened to say a name, in which there was no reply but the quietness of a sleeping home. As the young man’s brows furrowed in confusion, he found another sound had been existing with the stillness. It was the sound of rushing water spilling from a faucet.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFfRgRk8Oz
The young man began to walk cautiously towards the bathroom door, holding tight to his breath. He came closer to the door and opened it gently. When the door was opened, the young man’s eyes widened with heart shattering dread. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdSnECScYd
In front of him was the body of the one he loved dearest in the world, lifeless in the silent night of winter.
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Sobbing hummed over shadow-clad bodies. Grief and regret swayed in the smoke of incense. Chrysanthemums loomed over tearful vessels and mourning begs danced among their trembling bodies.
The young man stood in silence, facing an open coffin. With grayed eyes, he looked at a framed photo of a young man with a comforting smile on his face.
“I was gone for a week when I decided to come back to Seoul,” whispered the young man. His voice was hollow and still. “The atmosphere of my family was stuffy and uncomfortable, so I made plans to spend Christmas with you. You would message me every day, asking how I was and if I had eaten…you looked forward to our holiday…”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JWVm6pNfD
He clenched his right fist, keeping it by his side. His body began to tremble as his teeth fought away the cries his body longed to release.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqIEHKdSMt
“Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me, Taeyoung?”
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Cigarettes burned in the sunlight. Bottles and cans empty of alcohol glistened in the sunlight. The quiet buzz of an old radio echoed against framed photographs and matching mugs. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlklrj9dpV
The young man sat on a couch in a slouching position. He wore a white shirt and a pair of black, baggy jeans. Long, unkempt raven hair cupped his thin face and shallow eyes. His unshaven face was greeted by a glass of liquor.
“–More on the case of Taeyoung Yoo, or ‘Hana’, singer of the popular music group ‘Harmo-ni’ has come in,” said the confident and taciturn voice of a radio host.
“The body was found by fellow Harmo-ni member, Yukimi Tsukishima or “Sunghoon” The authorities have stated that after an autopsy of the body. Authorities state the cause of death was from–”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31CtR3xJH7
The young man picked up the radio and threw it into a TV screen before him, causing it to crack. His head lowered and eyes closed as the echoes of a memory flooded his head.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxRXtY5mxP
“You know Sunghoon, if they catch you smoking you’ll get in trouble,” said the voice of a young man with short, white hair and peony-hued eyes.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLxXGsbCMK
“And?” chuckled the young man known as Sunghoon. A cigarette balanced between his lips. “It’s not as if Mr. Manager isn’t already a chimney. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHfdAHOfsw
“That’s fair,” replied a young man with white hair. He was thin, but not nearly as willowy as Sunghoon. He had a body filled to the brim with happiness that was visible by the glimmer in his eyes.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8lyBPzEIs
A stop in the conversation left the faraway traffic to compose its song of chaos. Sunghoon looked at his cigarette and after, towards his friend.
“Hey, Taeyoung…” mumbled Sunghoon. “Don’t you hate the smell of smoke? I know it irritates the shit out of some people and you’ll probably smell pretty bad being near me too.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6ItrHmE1H
“A little bit, yeah,” replied Taeyoung. His eyes matched Sunghoon’s. A gentle smile grew upon his face. “But it’s a moment I get to spend talking with you, so I don’t mind at all. It’s worth it to me.”
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In a still café hosted an older gentleman with bushy eyebrows and rectangular glasses. He combed through his dark, neatly trimmed hair. His foot tapped on the ceramic tiling of the floor and his elbows pressed into a minimalistic wooden table. Turning his head, he was greeted to the portrait of the waking world washed in its gentle gold.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9H3byw8K9
A wind chime sang with the sound of an opening door. Sunghoon stood in a leaned position and kept his hands in a midnight fleece jacket. Sleepless eyes met the gaze of the older man, who turned in his chair to sit more professionally.
“Ah, there you are, Sunghoon,” called the older gentleman. He glared at Sunghoon with a look of intention. “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come. It’s been some time, you know.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJr01JLamy
“Yeah...I considered not showing up again, but I’m really tired of your calls,” replied Sunghoon.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡku5zOS8mwO
“Thank you…I suppose,” said the older gentleman.
Sunghoon stood beside a chair, leaning on it. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWkGtfoA2l
“So what’s this about, Manager Han?” said Sunghoon bitterly.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8iYAtN9Kt
“I think you know what this is about,” replied Manager Han.
Left dumbfounded, Sunghoon turned away from Manager.
“Look I don’t really…”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXDlN6lqp5
“Some of the higher-ups are anticipating some sort of answer on how you’ll continue your career.”
Sunghoon’s eyes darted towards Manager Han. A sweat broke from his brow as his face grew wild with confusion.
“What the fu-” started Sunghoon, near breathless.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoccIrT6aPT
“Look, I don’t want you to be pressured to do anything,” stated Manager Han, folding his hands together. “You can take your time, you can go on hiatus, but they just want to hear something from you. Anything at all.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt7Ss8DaoM
“Did you tell them to piss off?” said Sunghoon with a scoff of unbelief.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2WkEBCATh
“You know, I thought of that, but I value my job too much.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIoPSli89x
“We all know they didn’t offer a hiatus, so why are you offering it?”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcbfYSCNeR
“I don’t know, maybe because I care?” Manager Han shifted his glasses and exhaled deeply. “Look…it’s a hard time for you. I understand that. So just tell me what you want, and I’ll find a way to get you some time.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7hgLFI9dh
“And what if I just wanted to quit?”
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The café went quiet as Sunghoon glared at Manager Han. The older gentleman became tense in the hair-raising silence.
“I thought so,” said Sunghoon at last. He turned towards the cafe door.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu4qY0v6UE
“Tell them this–leave me alone. I’m not writing or singing another damn song.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtG3ie2Ui0
“Sunghoo-” started Manager Han.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzag98y3xg
“ You wanna know how I’m thinking of continuing my career?” scowled Sunghoon.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR3qWEFABb
“How…”
Silence entered the café once more as Sunghoon looked to his left middle finger, where a ring sat. He winced for a moment, wishing to shut out all the frustration and pain.
“…Nevermind,” replied Sunghoon after a moment. He walked closer to the café door and opened it without looking back at Manager Han. “Just don't ask again.”
As the door closed behind Sunghoon, Manager Han let out a trembling sigh as he let his head fall into his hands.
"He's really lost without you..." he whispered solemnly.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMzlO6Qc5k
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The train creaked on the rails. Sunghoon pushed in a pair of earbuds into his ears, hoping to cut the chaos from. Passengers swayed back and forth like sailors on a boat. In his eyes, there were all souls passing through the ocean like schools of fishes. The ocean in his mind formed around him, muffling the conversations that swarmed around him.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2hgwshPEP
Tightly, Sunghoon closed his eyes and began to ruminate in past memories, where there was warmth. The millions of lights of Akihabara lit the path down memory lane. The smells and voices of the sleepless city buzzed around a rested Sunghoon.
“Damn,” began Sunghoon. “Our Tokyo trip in middle school really brought the nerd in you to life, huh?”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w79sEONjk
“I’ve always been a nerd, you know that,” replied Taeyoung.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBTR8u6HYx
“Yeah, but after that trip, you became more…eccentric?” said Sunghoon with a smile of mischief.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzUFjWGOQM
“Will you stop picking on me because of my hobbies?!” cried Taeyoung. His face reddened as he grabbed onto Sunghoon’s hoodie.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl5CbNsurn
“Sure, once it stops being fun,” teased Sunghoon.
Taeyoung let go of Sunghoon and began the two began to walk alongside one another. Sounds of anime songs and happy crowds flowed between them, reverberating within the empty alleys between the urban forest. . Sunghoon stole a look from Taeyoung and reached out for his hand amidst the sea of faces.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysfVWfjiFY
“Say, it's been some time since you've been in Japan right?” asked Taeyoung.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24O5Ul26W8
“Uh..yeah,” stammered Sunghoon, retracting his hand. “My mother's mother is Japanese, so I'd visit her family in the summertime. Last time I visited was with you.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40tVZElyex
“Ah, that’s right. Where does she live again?178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfTwWuYFuv
“Honda. It's a small prefecture in Chiba.”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxcehn2FWS
“That’s so cool!”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpfzxLVhkf
“Sure it is, if you were a kid who was allowed to make friends and play outside. I wasn’t allowed to go far, alone or not.” 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoCaZ2D5fu
“Did you visit Tokyo often as a kid?”178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8N9qU0lve
“From time to time, yeah. My grandmother would sometimes pack some travel money in my pillow, so my parents wouldn’t find it.”
Taeyoung grinned mirthfully and grabbed for Sunghoon’s hands with his own.
“Then you'd still know your way around the city, right?” asked Taeyoung. His eyes glowed longingly, yet Sunghoon stood paralyzed by the excitement oozing from his friend’s tone.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI8FdxXCVV
“No, no, I really don’t-”
It took no time for Sunghoon to find himself in charge of holding collector items and plush toys. He stood as a crab on the shore, unwilling to run from the excitement for its beloved ocean. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI84W7ewsZ
Wrapped around Taeyoung’s finger would always and forever be the ever so exhausted yet willing Sunghoon.
Sunghoon sighed and looked forward to Taeyoung. His eyes were overflowing with youthful wonderment. Warmth spread over the cheeks and ears of our observer. A smile bloomed from his heart to his lips and a distinct feeling of exhilaration and serenity washed over his body, swimming in his chest and fingertips.
Never was a moment so heavenly than one where Taeyoung smiled.
“Sunghoon, come over here so we can take a photo together!” he called.
Without a further thought, Sunghoon ran towards him to capture memories with his dearest friend in the universe. 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeTS1atpSo
Flash by clash, click by click, he took the moment and kept it in the pocket of his soul.
Every moment, distressing or wonderful, was Sunghoon’s to keep.
They were all he had to keep, now that Taeyoung was gone from his arms.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD99YtWXe8
The train stopped suddenly, and Sunghoon stood alone to leave for his apartment. Sounds of crunching of snow was piercing under the weight of Sunghoon’s boots. He slouched and treaded slowly, drunk on concepts of anguished implosion.
The silence stabbed through his veins as he arrived towards his old, three story apartment. He went up with heavy, creaking steps, towards a door at the very end of the second floor.
“Damnit, I forgot to turn the light again…” gruffed Sunghoon as he took out his keys. He tried one by one, shivering at every attempt to open the door.
“I can’t remember…which key…”
Darkness descended upon the evening snow as the sound of clacking heels echoed in the second story hall. A figure stood 6 feet away from Sunghoon, preparing her dark lips to speak.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYibCk5k5h
“Sunghoon.” 178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjQCYc5ZW8
A shiver sent his body into tremors. The night became more lightless and the air became dense. With wide rabbit-eyes, he turned to look at the familiar voice that called his name.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa3lNjJmBa
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He faced a woman in a black tweed coat and a woolen, gray skirt. She glared at him with aged eyes. Her long onyx hair and the sharp hostility exuding from her body mirrored Sunghoon’s.
He knew as long as he lived, he would always be her shadow.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfWfXDOpn8
As long as he grieved, she would always return to be the voice that recalled the night in which he lost Taeyoung.
“What the hell do you want, Mother…?” said Sunghoon, grimacing.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS05qckfDkf
"I believe it's time we finished visiting, don't you think?" she replied grimly.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqlky9OjyT
"So hurry dear, before we both die of cold."178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzP14ke4r5
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