The next fix, that was all that mattered.
His fingers twitched in random spasms, going faster then slower in strange patterns. The night air which should have chilled his body did not register in his brain, his senses and nerves having been desensitized long ago. Even as rain drizzled down upon his seated figure, huddled tightly against the sidewalk bench, the moisture did not make him shiver.
His skin no longer felt the water, nor the cold. The once-vibrant, brown eyes had faded into an ashen gray, sunken back into his head and surrounded by tight, colorless skin. Most of his hair had fallen out, leaving only short gray strands in a barely visible ring on his head. Despite his young age of 27, he resembled an ailing, elderly man.
He nearly jumped out of his seat when a man wearing a black trench coat passed the bench, not paying the man a glance. He stared at his back until he was no longer visible in the misty blackness. Quickly, he lowered his head again.
Where was she? Glancing at his watch, he realized she was four minutes late. An entire four minutes! Maybe she had no plans of showing up in the first place. Maybe he hadn’t paid enough last time…
“It’s too suspicious when you glance around like that.” A woman’s voice spoke softly, causing his head to jerk up at the sound. There, a woman dressed all in nondescript black clothing stood. She calmly sat beside him on the wet bench, crossing her legs at the knee.
“You’ve got it, right?” He rasped, staring at her with needy eyes. She stared back a moment, almost inspecting him, before reaching into her satchel and withdrawing two bottles of black liquid.
“You know the drill. Two drinks for a hundred.” She swirled the liquid in the small bottles a little, and his hungry eyes didn’t stray from the sight. “You got the cash or what?”
As if prompted into action, he dug his dirty hand into his coat pocket and thrust 20 crumpled and soggy five dollar bills into her outstretched hand. He reached out for the bottles but she pulled them away from his reach.
“Ah ah, be patient.” Then, agonizingly slow, she counted through all the bills twice. She was apparently oblivious to his dying need for the two glass objects in her hands, just out of his grasp. Finally, once she was satisfied he hadn’t shortchanged her, she shoved the bottles into his hand, never taking her eyes off the money.
“Here you go. Enjoy.” Was her monotone, parting remark. Rising quickly, she filed away into the dark. Though where she went he didn’t give any mind.
“Yes…” He whispered, cradling the small bottles in his hands like they were made of the finest gold. Whipping his head around at the sound of a rustling bush, he rose to a crouch.
Anyone could see him, anyone could pass by and know. Clutching the small objects to his chest, he raced back down the road towards his apartment. He ducked away from those passing him by, not caring to notice their confused and prejudiced stares.
Pushing against his door with force, it snapped open. Inside, it was the exact same as he had left it; fast food bags littered the floor and tables, along with dirty rags and clothes. Over time, his nose had become blind to the foul stench that permeated from within his home.
Slamming the door behind him, he dropped the coat to the floor and trudged through the trash on the floor. Kicking off his shoes, he planted himself in his ragged armchair in the living room and held the two bottles in front of him.
The black liquid sloshed around on the inside before coming to settle itself back onto the bottom of the bottle. The tight feeling of anticipation in his chest overcame him and he uncorked the two at once. Grabbing a glass cup on the side table next to him, he dumped the contents of both bottles into it and tossed the now empty containers behind him. They shattered upon impact with the wall.
‘Contents not safe in more than one dosage. Take caution when consuming liquid emotion.’ The words of the advertisement whispered in his head, but the sight of the liquid pushed back those thoughts. The need became too strong and he brought the cup to his lips, draining the liquid in one single drink.
His thin fingers clutched at the empty glass greedily, licking at the inside in an attempt to get the remaining liquid that stuck to the sides. It was gone all too quickly, and he placed the cup on the side table once more.
It was cold, with a spicy aftertaste. The sensation seared his throat as it descended into his body, leaving him gasping for air. His hands automatically went to his throat, but he resisted from doing anything more. Soon, his fingers and toes began to go numb, then turn a strange gray blue color.
It always took awhile to take full effect, but once the high began he was a patient man. Once it started, he would wait for the ends of the earth for the feeling. Once the liquid finally hit his stomach and began to diffuse into his bloodstream, he relaxed back into his chair.
The shaking of his fingers had stopped, the tight feeling in his stomach had disappeared, and for a moment it felt like he was floating. He gently raised his hand towards the ceiling, reaching up to stop himself from hitting the roof. Then he realized that he wasn’t moving, and he brought it back down to his sides.
The deep breaths began and he placed his arms on the armrests of the chair, palms facing up. Then, he waited for it to begin…
The first indication was the twitching of the muscles in his limbs, causing his toes to curl erratically and his fingers to pull inwards. Each contraction felt like a bolt of electricity shot through his limbs. He winced at the pain that rose in intensity. Gradually, the sensations increased in frequency to the point where he was hissing from a constant stream of pain.
“Ahh…” He groaned, closing his eyes in ecstasy. With his wrists bent in on themselves and his toes curled up in tight rows, the next wave began.
A tightness in his chest, a force comparable to an elephant being lowered onto his body, pressed down on him all at once. He lost his breath and instinctively he coiled into a fetal position. This was difficult with the electric feeling going through his arms and legs. The pressure was unrelenting.
Then the burning set in, setting his skin ablaze with a heat that he’d never experienced. That was the joy of these concoctions: the experience was different each time. This flame originated deep in his chest, expanding outwards at a swift rate. Soon, it overtook his entire body and he screamed out in pleasure.
The barrage of sensations continued without pause, taking his body through a roller coaster of pain. The feelings brought him to the floor where he fell to his knees, holding his head between his legs. A headache, chest tightness, muscle spasms, burning...the sensations were incessant. New experiences continued, brought to an extreme from consuming two doses at once. Heartburn, aching bones, vision changes, dry heaving...all at once these feelings cascaded upon him.
Yes, the pain! Oh, the pain was wonderful! This is what he’d been craving, yearning for these past two days. The pain was everything. It was a need. It was life.
He convulsed on the floor, scrambling for nothing in particular. His mouth frothed, spit and bile seeping onto the floor beside him. It continued for hours, the darkness outside slowly fading into the early hours of the morning.
The high descended slowly; one by one, the sensations lessened until they disappeared altogether. The last to cease was the vision changes, and he bleared into his living room in confusion. Slowly rising from his fetal position on the floor, he rubbed at the scratches and cuts his overgrown fingernails had caused the past hours. They covered his body, adding to the scars of previous wounds he’d made.
Crawling to the fridge, since his legs were still sore from the electric spasms, he managed to get an unopened beer from inside and slink back to his chair. Climbing up with his weakened arms, he draped his body over the chair and sipped from his drink in satisfaction.
The two bottles had so much more effect than just one. The feelings were intensified, magnified to a point where his body felt like it was tearing itself apart. But, that had been the first time. Now, his senses had dulled and each use left him craving, wanting a little more. Soon, two wouldn’t be enough. Two would be too easy.
Already, his body shook with the thought of another round, another high. The skinny fingers that clutched the cold can of beer took on the usual tremors. He took shaky sips from the can.
More, he thought. I need more. I need the money, get the money. Get the money, get the dose...His clouded mind rifled through ways to get the one hundred he needed.
The next fix, that was all that mattered.
ns 15.158.61.14da2
