Exactly a month ago, I turned 14. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I mean, I’m in 9th grade now, and my grades aren’t great. I’m always skipping school, and I feel like I’m just wasting time. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself? According to my parents, I’m lazy, but they don’t see what I’m going through. They don’t get how hard it is. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that nothing feels worth it. I’m stuck in this cycle of not really trying but also not knowing how to break out of it.
Today in school, nothing special happened. I was just sitting in class, zoning out, listening to the teacher talk, but not really hearing anything. Sometimes I talk to my classmates, but I don’t really have any real friends. It’s like I’m just there, going through the motions. The whole day, I kept thinking to myself, "Only three lessons left," just waiting for the day to end. I just want to get it over with.
I’m tired of seeing those mean girls laughing all the time. I know exactly what they’re saying about me behind my back. They think I can’t hear them or that I don’t know, but I do. It’s like they enjoy putting others down, and it really gets to me. I wish I could just walk up to them and smack them in the face. Maybe they’d realize how much they’re hurting people. But I don’t, because I don’t know how to handle it. It just makes me feel so angry and small at the same time.
Tomorrow is finally Friday, so at least there’s that. The weekend is coming, and I can finally relax a little. I don’t have to think about school or those girls. I just need a break. Hopefully, I’ll be able to figure things out soon, but for now, I’ll just get through the week.
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