I hate that i cry so much...
I hate that the only "safe space" i have is in a bathroom..
I hate that i seem to be interested less in the stuff i used to love doing..
I hate that i'm so awkward with people now
I hate how insecure i am
And how the body you say is mine somehow isn't really mine
I hate that whenever i look in the mirror all i can see is failure written all over it
I hate that i made all those stupid decisions like sending nudes or cutting myself
Without being able to talk to you when it all backfired
I hate that i don't have real friends
I hate that the only friends i have are online and miles and miles away
I hate that i can't talk to someone and truly be honest with everything thats going on because i'm scared on how they'll judge me if they knew the truth
I hate that i have to put on a smile and be the cheery one acting like everythings ok when its not
I hate that i push everything so far down it leaves a lump in my throat
But above all of that
The one thing i hate the most
Is you...
And i hate that i hate to say it
i hate that i can say it
I hate that i can't talk to you
Because talking to you is like trying to reason with a dog that wants to bite your head off
I never get a single word in
I hate that you call yourself a mother
Because you do the bare minimum of what you have to do
I hate that your the reason everything in my life seems to be going wrong
I hate that you don't seem to see how... not okay.. i am
I hate that your the reason i hurt myself trying to free myself from this darkness
I hate.. I- I hate... I hate that i can't tell you any of this
Because i already know what you would say
I Hate you "Mom"...
ns 15.158.61.18da2
