文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/
珍如就是一個習慣事後孔明的人,每天大部分時間都活在懊悔之中。她習慣不斷回想過去,回想「過去中的她」有多糟糕,所以「現在」才會不是她期望中的那樣子。她會猜想當初應該要怎樣做才可更好、才可以沒有出錯,她慣性不斷幻想另一選擇的人生會比較合心意及圓滿。290Please respect copyright.PENANAlPfUs2t0mu
290Please respect copyright.PENANAaniwaYbGCl
290Please respect copyright.PENANAcBVczuPxnK
「當時我不應該這樣做的,應該要想到其他做法才對。」290Please respect copyright.PENANAKcf7K0Tzn7
290Please respect copyright.PENANAG8KTLZJJhC
290Please respect copyright.PENANAVtVxyr5gXv
「早知道我就不這樣說了,如果我就能再表達得更好就好了。」290Please respect copyright.PENANA2gUnmtep0M
290Please respect copyright.PENANAZW0KrJ0rcG
290Please respect copyright.PENANAQkrZddrQGh
「如果出門前我有帶傘就好了,現在就不用停滯在商場內了。」290Please respect copyright.PENANAR26lypa3qB
290Please respect copyright.PENANAbdhooB1UJm
290Please respect copyright.PENANAAu3s3QNJgn
「啊,如果我能在之前就做好決定就好了,現在時間愈久,愈拖就愈膽怯,也愈來愈多憂慮,更躊躇不前。」290Please respect copyright.PENANA4v1Uwdxua6
290Please respect copyright.PENANA82j3Ir5X2k
290Please respect copyright.PENANAKvxhSal79l
「櫻桃口味的煎餅好難吃,早知道我就點巧克力口味啦。」290Please respect copyright.PENANAeTzBbMRJ2h
290Please respect copyright.PENANAgbLhT8p67M
290Please respect copyright.PENANAESJoEi31Yy
「好像還是黑色皮帶比較美,早知道我就買黑色皮帶的手錶了。」290Please respect copyright.PENANAvzgQXMbgjT
290Please respect copyright.PENANA5RvYiV02LO
290Please respect copyright.PENANAk7KYRCyFgI
「如果我作了另一個抉擇,一定會比現在快樂。」290Please respect copyright.PENANAddB3gWQVqi
290Please respect copyright.PENANAlgDABaTQYt
290Please respect copyright.PENANA1FaSVZ3wHX
—————————————————290Please respect copyright.PENANA6fSiNUeQ6w
290Please respect copyright.PENANAaBVJU98aLg
290Please respect copyright.PENANAaLvo18FCLO
今天晚上,珍如又和老公吵架了,任她費盡唇舌,她也不能令他明白多一點她的心思意念。290Please respect copyright.PENANAigUy4y8TQn
290Please respect copyright.PENANAEukJ5L3zji
290Please respect copyright.PENANAnw5I4Bpw41
每次吵架過後,她無處可逃時,都會躲進樓下24小時開放的快餐店內,一直待到早上,等老公上班和公婆出門喝早茶後才甘心回家。290Please respect copyright.PENANAl0OjMKFhdp
290Please respect copyright.PENANAswDlc6yED4
290Please respect copyright.PENANA0wsUqW84te
黑夜時份,反而是快餐店內最熱鬧的時候,這裡容納著每個不願進睡、不捨入睡、滿懷煩惱、心裡寂寞的人們。290Please respect copyright.PENANA2PSf0lM3I1
290Please respect copyright.PENANAU3g3UoyWKI
290Please respect copyright.PENANA7CWRLWqTsb
燈光昏暗的快餐店,在夜裡有種迷幻的情調。290Please respect copyright.PENANAeFrQTPjExs
290Please respect copyright.PENANA9V0oSaSyNl
290Please respect copyright.PENANAIJXNF1GaKx
珍如穿著短T恤、短褲,腳上踏著拖鞋,一身輕便又破舊的家居服,拖著疲憊的身驅走了進去,點了一個蘋果批就坐下來開始發呆。290Please respect copyright.PENANAv5Q39Crpa0
290Please respect copyright.PENANApfUZiAGLeI
290Please respect copyright.PENANAvfjDB6B303
被捨棄了的人生決定通常都會很像鬼魅,常常在脆弱的黑夜裡冷不防就出來徘徊一下下。雖然所有人生處境和細節都不會完美,但活在另一個人生決定裡的自己會是怎麼樣的呢……290Please respect copyright.PENANA4ep7mKUWqp
290Please respect copyright.PENANAiT7pPx3wGH
290Please respect copyright.PENANAl3IQjw8P1U
珍如以寂靜的眼神望著坐在對面桌子的年輕女生,她大慨是中三、中四的年紀吧。290Please respect copyright.PENANARhM5IQWDIu
290Please respect copyright.PENANAMjErLmB0r0
290Please respect copyright.PENANAUULCtolC0V
「年輕真好。」珍如大口嚼著蘋果批,心裡慨嘆著。290Please respect copyright.PENANA8xJ9J4s3Rz
290Please respect copyright.PENANAAi8lS7jIhq
290Please respect copyright.PENANA8MJRYW6FDV
珍如今年29歲,結婚快6年,也意味她過了6年當家庭主婦的日子。她沒有兒女,但老公非常大男人主義,他要求珍如婚後就要全心全意把家庭照顧好,他們也一定要和公婆同住。所以就算不用照顧小孩,但還有兩個比小孩更難服侍的老爺和奶奶在家,珍如更加覺得自己失去了自由。290Please respect copyright.PENANAmkWD5BRuOs
290Please respect copyright.PENANA0qkXayRote
290Please respect copyright.PENANACSgTjl25Vm
剛開始婚姻生活的頭一年,珍如還是覺得非常甜蜜,她的老公還是會細心對待她,和公婆相處也算融洽,但從婚後第二年,珍如經歷了小產過後,一切都改變了。290Please respect copyright.PENANAQZoyKKPOBr
290Please respect copyright.PENANAI52BqhHwDt
290Please respect copyright.PENANALTt7Isv535
但她還能怎樣呢?珍如已經6年沒有接觸社會,她也沒有獨立的經濟能力,就算她有大學學歷,她還可以填回空白的部分,同時重新過她的人生嗎?290Please respect copyright.PENANAxiNeL7Xe11
290Please respect copyright.PENANAMqA9WJjT8V
290Please respect copyright.PENANAIqET77sO6o
「早知道我就不跟他結婚了,現在的他超惹我討厭的,整個人都變成另一人似的,我後悔了啦。」珍如雙手掩臉,雙眼開始水盈盈。290Please respect copyright.PENANAzR0QheUIKf
290Please respect copyright.PENANAvIDGvEnPEx
290Please respect copyright.PENANARvIz21a5dw
如果她當初沒有選擇結婚,沒有一時意亂情迷就敗在男人手上,她應該會當上老師吧?這是她一直以來的心願和夢想,但就在畢業的那一年,她遇上了她現在的老公——浩華。他們突然急速陷入暴風似的熱戀之中,當時的珍如,甘願為他放棄自己的夢想來換取婚姻。那時他們只交往四個多月,珍如現在回想起,當時的她,根本沒有真正認識過浩華。290Please respect copyright.PENANAbvw3SoUvtM
290Please respect copyright.PENANAJS156EyuVA
290Please respect copyright.PENANAZn2g60KssD
同時,她還放棄了她交往了5年的初戀男友——阿遙。而3年前,珍如得知阿遙遇上意外過世的悲痛消息,自此之後,珍如更加厭惡她的家庭及人生。如果那時選擇了阿遙,和阿遙走到最後,說不定還比較幸福吧,他一直都是一個溫柔,又懂得遷就她壞脾氣的男人。290Please respect copyright.PENANApJMyZFEfQp
290Please respect copyright.PENANAymKTPuEXN3
290Please respect copyright.PENANAXuPqgFqhnx
現在,珍如露出可憐兮兮的樣子。290Please respect copyright.PENANAFRSfPDBunS
290Please respect copyright.PENANAE8VUbeAsrZ
290Please respect copyright.PENANA3zFh0CKqSN
「珍如,是妳嗎?」290Please respect copyright.PENANAq2rI7LJ9it
290Please respect copyright.PENANA9obheSjmpW
290Please respect copyright.PENANATeGN55rsHJ
快餐店的嘈雜聲彷彿被吸進另一世界裡,空氣變得好像靜止了。290Please respect copyright.PENANACHh8Ft5IOT
290Please respect copyright.PENANAuI8Hr7SiRc
290Please respect copyright.PENANAA9YJ08eQ5n
聽到有人喚著自己的名字,珍如轉過身來。站在她旁邊的,是不可能在此時出現的阿遙。290Please respect copyright.PENANA3JwwTzTmMv
290Please respect copyright.PENANAZZ5v1ObfXu
290Please respect copyright.PENANA701cMkMOfl
多年不見,阿遙現在的容貌比珍如印象中成熟及老成許多,肩膀也厚實了。但他還是喜歡在右耳上配戴黑色寶石耳環。290Please respect copyright.PENANAtlTVaAtwA5
290Please respect copyright.PENANAqaJPQ1JWmO
290Please respect copyright.PENANACSijQFYvsB
珍如瞪大烏溜溜的雙眼,怔怔看著阿遙,喉嚨發不出一絲聲音。她曾經去阿遙的墓碑前「探望」過他,那張黑白照片,還有相中人的笑容仍然深刻她的內心,而現在,她看見活生生的他在眼前出現……290Please respect copyright.PENANAjxqABxvyuC
290Please respect copyright.PENANAPHJgAQwoAB
290Please respect copyright.PENANAqGqyeA5Zl7
「我果然沒有認錯人,雖然好久不見,但珍如還是同一個樣子,沒有很大的改變啊。」阿遙的笑容仍然非常溫暖人心。290Please respect copyright.PENANAlEnYH1woGk
290Please respect copyright.PENANASly5ZsCKJu
290Please respect copyright.PENANAwMnw9AJq2T
珍如盡量維持平靜的表情,但內心激動不已。她是否已經神志錯亂?她已經發瘋了?同時她也尷尬不已,她一身隨便得有點失禮的家居服,加上她糟糕到極的人生,讓她羞愧得想找個地洞跳進去。290Please respect copyright.PENANAb74lOHAQFU
290Please respect copyright.PENANAR48P2d3ZYt
290Please respect copyright.PENANAhd5Ba39Ek8
「是……是我沒錯啊。」珍如不敢再直視阿遙,眼神只能落在他耳珠上的黑寶石耳環,身體微微抖震。290Please respect copyright.PENANAmgl04Ahcgx
290Please respect copyright.PENANABnTLYkm0Da
290Please respect copyright.PENANA9IgHUi41RR
珍如覺得寶石剌眼的光芒很令人感到煩躁和心痛。290Please respect copyright.PENANAmza4ntHyn3
290Please respect copyright.PENANAB1HkWUWkms
290Please respect copyright.PENANA6edtssYpUA
阿遙在珍如身邊坐下後,她嗅到他身上像牛奶糖般的味道,是她曾經熟悉過、感到安全感的氣味。珍如覺得胸口有股快要爆炸的灼熱感覺,這一切到底是什麼一回事?290Please respect copyright.PENANAAVjm54WSdD
290Please respect copyright.PENANAKeZNM6Ldug
290Please respect copyright.PENANAAOGTu4Vu31
阿遙積極地想要了解珍如的現況,但珍如只有面露難色。290Please respect copyright.PENANAycKI8YWtO0
290Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8QWmz4N0d
290Please respect copyright.PENANAeoSR3qBySf
「啊,對不起。」阿遙搔搔頭。290Please respect copyright.PENANAgcNE92Gi1f
290Please respect copyright.PENANAlsIL5iZ2Y2
290Please respect copyright.PENANAzEyFfMQbNr
「沒關係啊,你不用和我道歉。」290Please respect copyright.PENANA2jNPsVDxQN
290Please respect copyright.PENANAXbKwjdajC6
290Please respect copyright.PENANAzdWeCzC67Y
「也是,道歉只會顯得太過假惺惺吧。」290Please respect copyright.PENANApyqGBEvZUD
290Please respect copyright.PENANAkImkSxEz2K
290Please respect copyright.PENANAVS4e1BfAFD
「咦?」珍如露出不解的表情,該道歉的,不是她嗎?290Please respect copyright.PENANACxSB7Sh7Jx
290Please respect copyright.PENANAvoGBKkkgqw
290Please respect copyright.PENANAaHP2c4fnPb
「妳一直都對我很專一,但3年前我竟然愛上別的女人,背叛了妳,讓妳傷心了。離婚後我都不敢再打探妳的消息,但我一直都真心希望妳能再遇到一個好男人,過得比以前幸福。」阿遙說出珍如聽不明白的話,但神情無比認真。290Please respect copyright.PENANAsRkc6tsaXu
290Please respect copyright.PENANAFcXilBkHyg
290Please respect copyright.PENANAmyvLlq5XLZ
阿遙沒死,浩華沒有在我生命中出現過,我和阿遙在後來的日子中理所當然地結婚了,但我們卻……沒有永遠都過著幸福甜蜜的家庭生活嗎?這是另一個世界的場境嗎?是否因為在這個世界裡她當了壞人,在另一世界的她就要受到同樣的懲罰?290Please respect copyright.PENANAwqQQAek64w
290Please respect copyright.PENANAqNqgtQVyGD
290Please respect copyright.PENANAmM7CCyyNBY
雖然如此,但阿遙在另一世界並沒有死去,也安然生存著,還是一件令珍如感到欣慰和心滿意足的事。290Please respect copyright.PENANATkeqnq4hPk
290Please respect copyright.PENANAWmQwn40GMb
290Please respect copyright.PENANAqlKDdxhdCZ
「能和你再遇見,我覺得……現在很幸福啊。」珍如忍住快要奪框而出的淚水。她猜阿遙應該覺得她在語無倫次吧。290Please respect copyright.PENANAwEJFzkVHvA
290Please respect copyright.PENANAgWR9TS3Ju5
290Please respect copyright.PENANABjpTrGFXgk
「什麼?妳不要開玩笑了啦,妳恨不得我消失吧。」阿遙哈哈大笑地揮揮手。290Please respect copyright.PENANATl81nVUA1k
290Please respect copyright.PENANAIslrhBzZ11
290Please respect copyright.PENANAIbr0dzPLdq
珍如不知還能說些什麼,只是隨心底的渴望給了阿遙一個懷抱,久久沒有放開過。290Please respect copyright.PENANAaLanV2fxfn
290Please respect copyright.PENANAHXLOfuWYii
290Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8JJZOG4oB
—————————————————290Please respect copyright.PENANAxl6gBrVHuW
290Please respect copyright.PENANA7w9IM2oaDH
290Please respect copyright.PENANAVdtqqdbou5
另一邊廂,到了早上時份,在偌大的辦公室內,穿著高級白色套裝、臉上施著薄妝的珍如,重重地吐氣,如適重負地把身體往後躺,讓自己完全放鬆地倚靠著椅背。290Please respect copyright.PENANATLOpayJ6Aw
290Please respect copyright.PENANAF41KgcLu8L
290Please respect copyright.PENANA38hcPOKYkf
坐在她對面的,是城內一位最火紅、最權威性的算命大師。290Please respect copyright.PENANAV3ulOznEEF
290Please respect copyright.PENANASg77TGHcjV
290Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZpTwy7xKE
年近半百的算命老師笑問:「怎樣?昨晚嘗試了另一人生的苦痛滋味,也再窺探了另一個自以為是夢想中的生活,感覺怎樣?」290Please respect copyright.PENANA616ikFuPZL
290Please respect copyright.PENANAaJkfifMrzN
290Please respect copyright.PENANA8H858iMhxK
「謝謝你的神秘力量,讓我發現現在這個人生,是我最喜歡的。最喜歡最喜歡,抉擇原來沒有之一。」仍然單身的珍如露出甜美、燦爛的笑容。290Please respect copyright.PENANA6Bf9U7OJ4V
290Please respect copyright.PENANAYEWmXEGcYX
290Please respect copyright.PENANAen249n8XTJ
還好她當初還是因為內疚而同時放棄了浩華和阿遙。290Please respect copyright.PENANATAOMhFmLas
290Please respect copyright.PENANAAumGBQaKKi
290Please respect copyright.PENANAYNHqM1BZP8
之後的她,果斷地踏上教師之路,一步一步完成她的夢想。現在的她,當上了城中補習名校的當紅教師,事業攀上高峰,但因與男明星正在傳出緋聞,現在她的每個行為舉止都會成為城中熱話。290Please respect copyright.PENANAfvZLWfN6ku
290Please respect copyright.PENANAOxWdlVMGPF
290Please respect copyright.PENANAu1uHx79Say
當中她會有遇上人事上的挫敗、對教學失去熱誠之時,單身的她回到空無一人的家裡,背負著沉重的事業壓力,那她就會開始猜想,如果當初她選擇步入婚姻,有男人疼愛的她會否過得比較輕鬆和快樂?290Please respect copyright.PENANAmlYiEm5Dyj
290Please respect copyright.PENANAYuSvwtjpJI
290Please respect copyright.PENANA1KspD4PYnH
她沒有想到,當初浪漫又會甜言蜜語的浩華讓她後來的人生過得這麼苦,阿遙更在那個世界中死去;而原來就算她沒有在畢業時因浩華放棄阿遙,和阿遙結婚後的甜蜜生活也沒有維持很長久,他們還是不能安然走到人生的最後,命運還是讓他們分道揚鑣了。290Please respect copyright.PENANAkIedPpvA1g
290Please respect copyright.PENANAAg0uKKZe5a
290Please respect copyright.PENANA5AOKzT1o1Z
「擁有」和「遺憾」好像雙生兒,而人,只能一直往前走。每個人都有自己的路要走,那條獨特的路程,只有此時此刻的自己能走吧?我們都只能擁有現在、那唯一的自己。290Please respect copyright.PENANAk0JRRq3eoT
文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/290Please respect copyright.PENANAL3jEY0M9yd