I'll admit, I am not perfect. I'm not beautiful and skinny like other girls, and I don't plan to become like them. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiyMgOoGex
I don't understand why am I here. Was it fate or just a joke given by the gods.
When I was younger, I used to think life is breezy and easy. You live, grow, love and have fun. Now I don't, because I don't get much attention anymore.
I still remember what happened when I was five. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa0csiHjaI
"You should get plastic surgery, or at least have double eyelids surgery." My aunt said.
Back then, I was an ugly little kid. But I get attention, at least if that's the truth. Now, i'm taller, stronger and more beautiful with double eyelids.
When I was at middle school, I was that quiet and obedient girl. I obey the teacher and I became the teacher's pet that I didn't even realized I was one. I thought I had joy when people came more closer to me. They started to interact with me. But I didn't know they had an ulterior motive.
I would always share my answers with my friends during quizes. And even if I get caught, I would always take the blame for myself. I was proud of what I've done. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPmNMhBYvU
But when it was the other person who got caught, they would always drag me with them and blame it on me. Thats the first time i've felt hurt and betrayed.
And thats the last time i've ever stepped out of the shadow.
Last year was my fondest memories. The memories before I graduated. I became a freedom bird last year. I was my own boss, where I fear no one else. I had a lot of real friends. I felt joyous and thats all I get. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmowBknSaoM
I only wanted happiness and care, thats what I always wish to have.
This year is different, I had more freedom that I always wanted. I was finally in a good gang, I've worked so hard for it.
A few months ago, it was my birthday but it was at the holidays. I was excited to go to school after that short school break as I've told everyone already. I was anticipating some wishes and gifts.
But when I went to school, nobody remembered. And when they do, they promised to give gifts. But they ended up "forgetting".
I thought I was fine with that, but deep down I wasn't. I didn't even realized I had depression. An invisble wall that blocks you from receiving happiness and hurts you deep inside.
Yesterday was my best friend's birthday. Everyone remembered her birthday and brought plenty of gifts for her. Well, I did too. I was planning to go back home after school and bring the small cake I made back to school before she leaves. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF5VoYpVpQ
But when I reached to the canteen, which I asked her to wait. I saw everyone, standing there with a big and glorious cake. Everyone was singing happily and clapping hands. But I wasn't okay. I left and went back home, I ate the cake I made for her.
I didn't like to witness them having happiness, the thing I wanted for my entire life.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo2NWWZbln
For my entire life, I've always thought about dying. Or at least commit suicide. Overdose sleeping pills, cut a slit on my wrist, drown in my bathtub or try to even suffocate myself.
I'm the problem. I shouldn't have existed. But im here, in this twisted world.
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