Why can’t I spit it out. I’m in love so why am I ashamed? I have already fallen and I guess I just want something to land on and I’m not so sure that if I shout it out from rooftops that something or someone will be there. I have promised her before that I would never leave her, that I would always try to understand her. I have it down to a science. The way her eyes flicker a certain way when she’s hiding something, her knees buckle when she is mad it seems as though every single little she does has some meaning. Everyone of these movements make me fall faster and I don’t know if I will ever land. The fall has been breathtaking almost as much as her. I get this tingling sensation in my stomach, my brain tells me to do something logical, but the rest of me feels free but not quite. I never know if the wind shall come and save me, I will never know unless unless I ask it so. But, then sometimes I can’t rely on it when it is the one who made me fall in the first place. I guess I can’t blame her for she is of innocence. I’m the one who is hiding behind carefully plotted out walls cemented together so they shall not break. I never thought about someone going over them or even under. At times she makes me feel lighter like a child with their imagination running free, that feeling of being able to do anything without anyone stopping you. Others she makes me feel grounded like a tree buried in the ground so deep yet so shallow in the dirt that can only suppress so much. She crawls under my skin making my spine tingle with a shiver running down my back, but the things is she is the sun so bright and warm. Always ready to face the day unlike me I prefer the shadows where there is darkness and the cold. The cold is easy you can always warm yourself up with a jacket, but in the summer sun you just have to bear it, which is something I fear. My feelings grow stronger by the minute as the summer sun raises the temperature I prepare myself to reveal myself unto her. Tell her I’m in love with her that even if she doesn’t love me back you don’t simply fall out of love you have to climb your way out and even if it seems as the best option I will bask in the rays of the sun and stay far from my shadows for they have clouded my vision for way too long until your light came shining through. For that is why I can’t spit it out I want the taste to stay on my tongue to savor it and when I must let it go I shall be ashamed for letting go of the feeling to ever grace itself upon me.
ns 15.158.61.12da2