Summary: Now that we're in S4, I thought I would put down Elena's memories. Stuff she did and didn't remember when she was human. So here it is. Enjoy!
My name is Elena Gilbert and I am a new vampire. I'm eighteen years old with a younger brother who is still human. Jeremy. My friends are a vampire, witch, hybrid, and human. Caroline Forbes is a vampire and Bonnie Bennett is a human and witch. Tyler Lockwood, on the other hand, is a half vampire half werewolf hybrid. I have an ex whom is human and named Matt. I also am in love with two vampire brothers. Stefan and Damon Salvatore. I loved Stefan first. I don't know where we stand after everything, though. And Damon…Damon's been there for me every step. Something I didn't know as a human.
I remember growing up here in Mystic Falls. I had a mom and dad. And then I remember when my parents died. That was the worse day of my life. Stefan saved me when our car went off the bridge. And then I met him again at school the next year.
Not long after we fell in love, I met Damon. When I met him, he told me as much as he could without telling me their secret of what they are, about 'Stefan's ex'. Katherine. Not long afterward, I found out what Stefan and his brother are. And that's when I got pulled into this life. The life of always being in danger of something or someone. Or worse, my friends and/or family being in danger. Not long after that, Damon finally told me their story. How he and his brother were turned into vampires. They had Katherine's blood in their system when they died. Stefan was the eager one to turn, so he fed. But Damon wanted to stay human, so Stefan forced him to feed from a girl. They were killed when their father shot them in the street back in 1864 here in Mystic Falls, Virginia.
That year, Aunt Jenna and Alaric met and then started dating. It was a little weird, considering Alaric Saltzman was my history teacher. But not too weird. By that time, I was used to weird things happening and stuff.
A year later, Aunt Jenna who was our caregiver died. Klaus killed her. He's a hybrid. The hybrid that turned Tyler. He killed her and me. But because Damon cares about me so much, he gave me some of his blood so that he would know that I would be coming back. Klaus was trying to break the curse. His curse. And then Elijah believed him when he told him that his family was safe and got him out of the woods. Stefan couldn't stop them and Damon and I were at my house. But that's not when I turned into a vampire. Because when I woke up, I felt fine. Nothing was heightened or anything. I was still human. Still myself.
A day or two after she died, Stefan was the one to tell me that Damon had been bitten by Tyler. He had been standing too close to him when he started to phase. So I was there for him when he was slowly dying. Katherine, their sire and my Petrova bloodline, got the cure to him just in time. Klaus' blood.
A year later, we spent all our time trying to save Stefan from himself and Klaus. Klaus had turned him back into the Ripper. Stefan had given himself up to Klaus to save his brother. To Save Damon's life. But Stefan didn't want to be saved. And he said the worst thing you could ever say to someone. It hurt me so much, that it made me burst into tears before I even got into my SUV. The hurtful words that he said to me were, 'I don't want to see you. I don't want to be with you.' But even after that, we were so determined to get him back. We even tried to kill Klaus, but Stefan got in the way because, once again, he did it to save his brother. He knew that after Klaus was dead, that his hybrids would come after Damon to kill him.
Also, I remember when Damon turned Vickie and Stefan had to kill her to save me. She was going to kill me. Vickie, if you don't know, was Matt's sister and Jeremy's ex-girlfriend, as well as Tyler's ex-girlfriend. See the love triangle? I also remember when Damon used Caroline as his distraction for whatever he needed a distraction from. And then sometime after Katherine came into town and started playing games with us all, centering it on me, she killed Caroline. So technically, both Damon and Katherine are her sires. She was killed by Katherine and she had Damon's blood in her system.
I'll never forget Alaric. He had taken upon himself to look after me and Jeremy after Aunt Jenna died. Oh, and did I forget to mention that he was a Vampire Hunter? He was. And then Klaus' mom turned him into a vampire about a year ago. And because she used a spell to turn him into a vampire without any humanity, she had to bind him to a human life. So Alaric and I were bound. If I got hurt, he would the same way. So when Rebekah, thinking that she had seen Ric kill her brother Klaus, stood in the middle of the bridge and I died after Matt went off the bridge in his truck, which I was also in, Ric died as well. Ric was Damon and pretty much half the population of this town's best friend.
I remember waking up in my room after I had died the next morning. Damon and Stefan were both there. They both knew I was in transition to becoming a vampire and Damon wasn't taking it that well. I guess he always wanted to keep me human. And he was acting out in words and drinking. I didn't think much of it then. After all, I was in transition. Everything was heightened and the sun would hurt my eyes a little. I wasn't used to it in my transformation.
After I turned into a vampire, Stefan tried to teach me his way to hunt, but it wasn't working. I couldn't keep his blood down and I couldn't keep Damon's blood down. I needed human blood and Matt was willing, so I would take a little at a time.
Now that I'm a vampire, I remember some things I didn't remember when I was human. The first thing is that Damon was the first one that I met. Not Stefan. Secondly, Damon told me almost three years ago the very first time, when he returned my vervain necklace from Katherine, that he loves me. And I remember his exact words. And this is what he said. "I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish you didn't have to forget this."
Now that I look back on everything, I have a choice to make. If I choose one brother, where will that leave? Who will I choose? And what will happen if I don't choose either? For once in my life, I'm afraid to choose between them. I don't know where Stefan and I stand, but Damon has always been there for me in just one small way, one at a time, day by day. And I can never stop thinking about everything that Damon and I have been through together. It's like we were met to be. Just him and me. Not me and Stefan. Maybe I was met for Damon, instead. I wish someone could make this choice for me. But nobody can make this choice, except me. I have to choose. But who do I choose, if I choose one of them? I don't want to choose, but every time I'm with Stefan, I see the hurt on Damon. And I can't stand to see him get hurt. I care about him too much. But I don't know if I love him like he loves me.
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