I lay in my bed staring straight up. I don't know why. It's pitch black in my room, and it's more than likely that it's almost three in the morning. The only problem is, I can't sleep. I mean I had been sleeping, but now I'm not. And I don't know why. I am normally not the type of person to wake up in the middle of the night, I'm a generally heavy sleeper. Then I hear the door slam. I immediately sit up in bed and hit my head. I have a bunkbed since I share a room with my younger sister. Well half sister. Sometimes though I'm not sure we're even related at all. Hitting my head immediately wakes me up though. I'm aware that the door shouldn't be slamming shut. I mean it's fucking three in the morning, who would be awake at this hour. Other than me of course.
My question is almost immediately answered by yelling. Not yelling at me, but just yelling. My parents yelling at each other to be more specific. Well my mother and my step father. I don't like the fact that I'm "related" to him. But I am glad of the fact that we are not blood related. The words I hear come out of his mouth nexet just strengthen my thoughts on that, no matter how wrong they are. Once I hear the words leave his mouth my first are that I hate him.
"Stop being such a fucking bitch to me!" I hear him yell. I sort of wish I could see their expressions, but then again I kind of don't. They must be feelings of hurt and regret coming from my mother. "Yes, because I'm the bitch! I'm the one at wrong here!" I hear my mother pause for a second then she continues "I'm not the one who just spent hundreds of dollars for a friend! Is he going to pay you back?" "He gave me this." I assume he was showing her something. The I heard a loud thud, I'm pretty sure that she threw the something. Then she was screaming at him again. "You spent all that money and all he fucking gave you was something that can be bought for $20?! We don't even have enough money to pay rent this month! Then you go and gave all that money away?! You fucking asshole!" I had to cover my ears at this point. And when that didn't help I put in earbuds and turned them all the way up. I couldn't stand to listen anymore. Even though my mother sounded pissed off she also sounded like she was crying. How is that even possible to cry and yell at the same time?
By that point I was crying. That's the last thing I remember so I must have cried myself to sleep. Not the worst way to end my night... I suppose. But I suppose I should answer some of your questions now though. So.... that happened last week. No, my parents didn't know I heard, it's not why I'm here. If you want to know why I need a therapist just look into your file, you're the doctor here be smart. Nope, still not gonna get a word from my mouth. Why you ask, well it's simple. In speaking, I might say something I regret and with words there is no eraser I can take to your brain to make you forget it. But if I write everything down, I can proofread and edit so I don't end up saying anything I don't want you to hear. See? Simple. No, there are no past disorders in my family. I dunno about that... Don't think I am ready to answer that question.... Oh, I never met my bialogical father. No it doesn't matter to me, he made his choice to leave us. Oh my friends.
There is just a small group of us. Maybe five including myself? Six at most. Oh no, they're all really nice people. Do I get bullied? People still do that? I though that was only in books and movies people got bullied. I've never been nor have I see anyone get bullied. And hey what about your social life? You look young enough to still have friends doc. But totally too young to be married. At least since I know you have to go through all those years of college right? Can you marry during college? You probably can. Doesn't really fucking matter anyways. You do you. Anyways I'm tired. You can keep asking questions if you like but I'm not gonna answer so yeah. Ight I'mma head out.
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