The library was quiet as usual, and Yukari couldn’t be more mad.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWR0Bykzqi
Exams were looming over everyone. Or maybe just her since no one was here studying. No groaning over a difficult question, no asking friends for help, not even distracted chatter about the latest meme. It was just her and the librarian.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJISynH8xf
Yukari brought a chunky book to the back of the room and rang the bell. She would wonder how anyone could hear its tiny tinkle, but then she remembered that no one was here to drown out the sound with inane conversation.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeletohMQw
The room was so quiet that the next sound almost caused Yukari to drop her book. In the room behind the librarian’s desk, dozens of books thudded the ground. Yukari heard a squeak of pain.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTEoFg30so
A moment later, a woman who barely looked older than Yukari opened the door and made her way to the desk, straightening her uniform and wiping the books’ dust off her shoulders. Her blonde, almost pink hair was so long that Yukari could only see a part of it as the rest of it disappeared behind the desk. Her smile was small but somehow dimples were visible on her chubby cheeks. Despite those cheeks, the rest of her body was so thin she seemed more like a wisp of light than a real person grounded in this reality. Her unbelievably pale skin added to this impression. Her big eyes were the colour of harvestbells and the more Yukari described this girl in her head, the more she realised that she was standing there staring at this person she was 55% sure didn’t really exist.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3rSAgmAts
“Sorry for the wait. Are you looking to borrow a book?” 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxtD3jckKf
Maybe she did exist.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDpjbulGpo
The woman’s voice caressed Yukari’s ears. The library was designed specifically not to echo and yet the woman’s voice seemed to echo on its own. It was high-pitched, but less in a nasal way and more in an operatic way, though even in this empty room it didn’t sound loud enough to fill a theatre.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mWP4G1Tj0
Yukari gulped and looked down. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you had any recommendations. I’m looking for a novel similar to this one.” She raised her head. “I’m still doing school work, I swear! I won’t read it until after exams are done.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS7EMa5IaN
The woman’s giggles embraced Yukari. “It’s okay. I won’t judge.” The woman’s eyes somehow managed to grow even wider. “Oh, and, uh, I’m kind of new here. First day. I don’t really know enough of what’s here to make any recommendations.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvOhcGphbi
“Oh, um…. I guess I’ll just...” Yukari said, throwing the book in the returns box and galloping away.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bKcLq2bd4
“Wait!” The woman called out. Yukari did as she commanded. “Um, what did you like about this book? I could recommend something I’ve read and see if it’s here.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbuWQnj3bv
Yukari’s cheeks changed from the paleness of ghosts to the bright shade of poppies. “It was… a strange book. It was about a Japanese woman meeting an Australian florist during World War One. I… I’m not gay or anything, but I was wondering if there were any other books about a romance between two women. You don’t see that too often, so it stood out.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnBq5xnksD
The woman grinned. “You’ve come to the right person! I’ve got loads of books like that in my collection.” Yukari clenched her teeth to stop her jaw from dropping. “Do you want to read another historical lesbian romance or a lesbian romance about flowers or maybe just a regular modern lesbian romance?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPKalDAnD6
It took Yukari a moment to process what she was asking as the frequent casual use of the word ‘lesbian’ threw her off.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtAskpY3aF
“Oh, uh, I don’t mind.” 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9pqU6nNfF
The librarian leaned over her desk to get a good look at Yukari. “Hmmm…. I think ‘Rentica’ by Ikamusume Hunter would be a good fit for you.” She typed into her computer and frowned. “... and it’s not here. Sorry. Oh, um…” She lowered the volume of her voice despite no one else being there. “You could always borrow it from me. Come here after exams are done and I’ll lend it to you.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWV7RSktzr
Yukari nodded. “Thank you, miss…”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWvprEvwl6
The woman laughed. “You can call me IA.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJZP1JllvY
When Yukari headed back to the table she was studying at, she heard a beep on her phone and saw a message.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8RkokKTJl
Hey babe, wanna hang out tonight ;) - Roro row your boat635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf6LYVjNjj
Yukari smiled. Roro still hadn’t changed that punny text signature even after his grades in English started slipping. She remembered the adorably awkward time he tried to explain the joke to her in Japanese.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETMVEFNsBQ
Her smile dropped when she looked back at IA, who was struggling to keep the pile of books in her arms balanced kept dropping them.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Gx6ec95R
Yukari passed all of her exams, though just barely in home ec. She headed to the library after getting her marks back.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjBVxo1pSG
IA chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “I forgot to bring it. I guess I should have been more specific about which date you should have come here. Would you be able to wait until the library closes? We can head back to my place and I can give it to you there.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr0IVdZGqc
Yukari’s cheeks reddened. “Is that allowed?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbMCNv0S8v
IA tilted her head to the side like a dog failing to understand a command. “Why wouldn’t it be?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0clkASjYfE
Yukari grinned her concern away. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47RKKUNw6R
After IA locked the library entrance, she led Yukari to her old car with bits of paint missing. Yukari pushed the take away boxes off her seat. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJYzBlSCMo
IA smirked at the wheel and sped to their destination. Yukari had to hold onto the door to keep herself from accidentally ramming into it. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjuF7jxzv9
IA’s house was a tiny apartment with piles of books on the floor. She somehow knew where everything was and found ‘Rentica’ with ease. It was a thin book with a ghost silhouette filled with a floral pattern on the cover.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqI7l29mP4
“It’s a romance between a working woman and a strange woman she thinks might be a ghost but doesn’t know for certain. Enjoy.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPfVduZjvq
“T-thank you. So, um, I’m sorry if this is rude, but I didn’t expect you to have a car like that.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy5HnsBnjj
“Oh, I like to save money wherever I can. Books don’t grow on trees. Well, actually they technically do, but not direct…. Anyway, I hope you like the book. Do you need me to drive you home?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4rVhltDPQ
Yukari shook her head. “My boyfriend lives near here.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrTzI0cWCw
IA had an expression Yukari never imagined seeing on her. Her smile was still there, but it was smaller and didn’t show her teeth. The outer corners of her eyes were creased and her eyebrows were furrowed. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSBUtBdLxx
“Oh. Of course. I, uh, hope things go well with him.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPc4eDr3FFx
Silence followed. Yukari froze for a moment, then bowed and left without saying a word.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQcxpvUUXU
She rang Roro’s doorbell and when he didn’t open the door, she kept pressing the buzzer over and over again.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg1WYAK9QO
When he finally opened it, and he only partially opened it, Yukari giggled. He was wearing pyjamas that were way too big for him and his cotton candy hair was a mess.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA2brxrkpc
“Good morning,” she said with a smirk.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRQHJtfEZl
Roro glared at her. “You saw me at school today.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVHVrZiffz
“So, uh, can I hang out for a bit?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCtqLdGozn
The boy looked behind him. “I don’t know if this is a great time. I’m kinda watching a show and it’s getting really good. You can watch it with me if you want, but it’s near the end so you might be a tad confused.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNUjzjMbgP
“It’s okay. I’ve got a book I can read.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYPrnbPFo9
“You came all the way here to read a book?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG5QfdqpWI
Yukari chuckled. “I was already doing something near here and thought I’d drop by.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsco0xA9N9
Roro opened the door wider. “Okay, I guess.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvvrF0eihf
When they got to the living room, Roro sat down on the couch and Yukari sat on a beanbag. For the first few pages of the book she kept getting distracted by the dialogue on the show, but after that she was hooked.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CvrUS5pH5
She started to pick up on a few similarities between the characters and her and IA. The ghostlike girl had a similar physical description to what IA looked like and was incredibly friendly. The main character didn’t look like Yukari but had the same love of books. She was also a little shy, spending a good chunk of the story trying to muster the courage to talk to the other woman.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4PNdsjxmR
The writing was simple and Yukari managed to get through half of it before Roro finished his show. In fact, it just stopped after she reached the book couple’s first kiss.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0ZmY2SRKp
Roro slid down the couch and sat next to Yukari, kissing her on the cheek. She turned her head and kissed him on the lips.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCohxRkZRWa
Soon enough tongue was added and both people’s breaths became louder. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw9qs7eYLh
Something strange happened. After a while, Yukari forgot who she was kissing and thought about the kiss scene in the book. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvp3H0FI6vh
For a while she felt as if she was kissing a blonde woman with pale skin.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWVUzyBwp5
When she returned to reality, she pushed Roro away. Her head was spinning and her breaths quickened almost to the point of hyperventilation. 635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHmL9Dc1FP
She covered her mouth, trying to push the image of IA out of her head. She silently swore. She was familiar with these heart palpitations. They were the same as when she first started having feelings for Roro.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DlB3UClpA
“Um, I… I have to go.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2qxrHa4VE
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTAXYHhWrU
Yukari shook her head. “I’ll see you at school.”635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQPBaL0elS
She ran out of the house with her book. She raced home on foot despite knowing the long distance ahead of her.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloetXmvBop
‘I’m not a lesbian. I’m not a lesbian! I like Roro! What the hell’s wrong with me?’635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOghm3yQtg
When she finally reached home, she jumped on her laptop and searched, ‘how to know if lesbian’. She found a lot of stories that didn’t fit her own. Most of the girls online had always felt different but couldn’t put their finger on why. They told stories about having a boyfriend they felt nothing towards. And some of them said they had crushes on female celebrities and classmates when they were as young as eight years old.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg98kFTC3F
However, one person’s advice struck a chord. ‘If you’re questioning your sexuality, you might not be gay. Consider the other labels out there, such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.’635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlqYdlrAIR
Such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.
Such as bisexual.
Bisexual.
Yukari’s entire body shook. She didn’t even need to look into the other sexualities, although a tiny logical part of her thought she should. She found the word and that word made tears fall down her cheeks.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAh5DcDOvu
She pictured her parents towering over her, shaking their heads before disappearing. She imagined Roro crying. She could see her female classmates shuffling their chairs a few inches further away.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uZ1dgQBIf
However, after a few seconds of sobbing she smiled. She felt as if she had been welcomed into a club. This weird girl crush may have been just that- a crush, and given her pre-existing relationship a forbidden one- but a discovery about herself was still a discovery. She felt like she had stumbled upon a book in an entirely new genre.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuE5vQcFH3
Yukari opened her book from where she was up to and read the rest of the story, kicking everyone from Roro and her other classmates to her parents out of her mind. It was just her and the ghostlike librarian.
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