The stones beneath our feet felt rough, as though they were extremely weathered by the harsh climate. I felt the rough patches on the stones as they were sticking in the soles of my feet. A picture began to take shape in my mind, at first it was a vague picture of blueish things but a few mere moments later it became more clear. The image showed me a silhouette, large with lots of muscles and symbols carved into his skin. I felt my consciousness fading. Before I was welcomed by the pitch black, one last thing appeared to me. The symbols seemed to emit a soft glow and I felt a shiver going down my spine. Somehow, this figure instilled fear in me and the reason for that stayed unknown.
When I awoke, a familiar face hovered above mine. He gave me a smile, warm and relieved. “Hello sleepyhead, it’s time to wake up.” I blinked, still wondering where I was or what happened. My reply sounded unsteady. “Good morning Arkyn.” His smile broadened. “I thought you would never wake up, come on the ceremony is to begin very soon.” The ceremony is a yearly ritual, led by the eldest in our tribe. It is supposed to bring the young in contact with the ancestral spirits and awaken their inner skills. I’ve seen it a couple of times, the parents of our people start to bring their children with them at the age of sixteen. We gather in a large circle, made of runes, and chant until the person in the middle of the circle is in trance. I remember from reading books in the library hut that this process is supposed to be painless, however from what I’ve witnessed this isn’t right. The person in the middle of the circle starts to scream as if they are continuously hit on their backs by a whip only they don’t have scars or other wounds. Arkyn stares at me, impatient. “Hurry, we don’t want to be late”. Hastily I get out of bed, grab my clothes from the chair opposite my bed and put them on. Arkyn already grabbed a loaf of bread and is chewing on half of it. He gives the other half to me and opens the door. We step out, the cold air brushing against my skin. It reminds me of my dream. After enjoying the air for a few seconds we join the queue shuffling towards the ceremonial site.
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The queue towards the ceremonial site is barely moving and I can feel my thoughts drifting away, moving towards the incident of last night. “Asger”, my attention snaps back to my friend.
We’ve been friends for a very long time, my memories date back to when we were little boys. We played around in our village and darted through the trees playing tag. I distinctly remember one day that has shaped our friendship in a way that nothing else can. It was winter and the village was covered in snow and ice, Arkyn and I went outside like every day. He ran towards the forest, afraid I was going to lose him I ran after him. Alas, he was out of sight fast and there were no trails he left behind. My search began and after what felt like hours of searching, the sun had already passed the highest point, a deafening scream pierced my ears. My legs started running and I wouldn’t dare to stop until I found the source. Arriving at what I thought was the source of the scream, I found him. He had several wounds over his arms and legs, immediately I ran to him but he held up his hand. My body stopped, but in my head, I continued. He gestured me to look to the right, and what I saw there has hunted me for the past years. It wasn’t very visible, but there was a small corpse. I could see it, but for that to happen I had to squint my eyes, and what they were perceiving was horrifying. The body of a winter spirit lying in the snow, bleeding. I noticed that Arkyn changed the position of his hands, he was holding a finger against his lips as to let me know that I had to be silent. I closed my mouth but couldn’t stop looking. A huge man appeared above the body, he had a lot of muscles and something that seemed like tattoos that shone. He grabbed the little corpse and held it above his head, then he proceeded to squeeze the carcass. Fluid came out of the deceased being and he swallowed it. As soon as he did, the symbols on his body seemed to radiate. The large man growled, threw away the body and strode away.
“You seem to be somewhere else?” He sounds as if he has a lot of questions, and I know it is only natural but the energy just isn’t there to answer all of them. “Everything is fine, nothing is wrong. Don’t worry Arkyn.” It sounds more indifferent than I wanted it to, but I let it slide. Nothing can cheer me up, not when the memory I resented the hardest just popped into my head again. “Asger! The line.” His voice sounds more distant, and it takes me a while before I register that the line progressed and we can continue.
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Suddenly, I hear a voice. Not one, but multiple voices. High voices, voices that keep laughing about the worst things. They sound familiar, my brain starts to flinch as thoughts come up from long ago. It’s as if my mind refuses to remember where I’ve heard them before. I dismiss them, and as my thoughts go silent again Arkyn beckons me to come. We’re there, the ceremonial site. The runes painted in the form of a circle appear just as vivid as they were in my memories. The assembly of the tribe members and the appearance of the eldest gives me a soothing feeling. A feeling I’d like to swim in for the remainder of my life but somewhere a voice tells me that isn’t possible. I decide to listen to the voice.
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As everybody convenes within the circle, the circle glows briefly and settles. We know that the ceremony is about to begin, the eldest walks forward and start talking. “Dear family, today is the day. The day where the young of us find their potential, their pride and the rest of their lives. Today contact will be made. Contact with our ancestors.” He is silent for a while, letting it sink in. I look at Arkyn, he seems tense. Maybe he knows something I don’t? Did the same memories surface in his mind? I think about it for a few seconds and decide that I am leaving the matter. It isn’t worth it, to think about it. There are more important things, and I focus my attention back on the eldest. He is still talking about this special day, the day… I feel my thoughts drift off again and I swear I hear the laughter again. Again very high pitched, but this time feels off. As if something is happening, it doesn’t sound as careless as it was when I first heard it. The eldest finishes his story and starts calling the few teenagers like me and Arkyn upfront. We stumble to the front and line up, there are a total of four of us. The son of the lumberjack of the village, Myrial, the daughter of the seer, Armaia, Arkyn and me. This ceremony is something we all have to do on our own, so the group is separated. Myrial, Arkyn and I are sent to a little hut in the vicinity of the circle. Once the door is closed we don’t hear a thing anymore, it’s as if this little building is magically sealed to prevent all noise from coming in. My emotions are whirling, I feel different ones all at once. Fear, anxiety, curiosity, and excitement are coursing through my veins. It is overwhelming. Myrial starts talking. “You know, this is kind of a big deal.” Arkyn and I nod in agreement. There is something in his voice that calms me down, which is weird since his words should have had the opposite effect. “Yeah, it is weird. Having seen this ceremony often and now actually being part of it.” Arkyn sounds sad as if he is on the verge of leaving something behind he doesn’t actually want to lose. “We’re sixteen years old and this is tradition, we must be open for this experience. Maybe I am a super-powerful magician” Myrial waves with his hands as if already possesses the magical ability to conjure up small animals like wolf cubs. I snort, we all know that these people are awakened only once in a thousand years and the chances of him being it are slim. We hear footsteps enclosing the door, the door opens and the eldest steps inside. Myrial knows what is bound to happen and steps forward. Arkyn and I look at each other and sit down again. We sit there in silence, the kind of silence that one becomes used to when you’ve been friends for a long time. Minutes pass and the door opens again – I don’t know if it is just me but it seems like the ceremony lasted shorter than the one with Armaia. Both of us rise and before Arkyn moves towards the eldest, he approaches me and embraces me in a tight hug. For a moment time seems to stop and we’re trapped in a bubble where time is non-existent. The love for my friend I feel skyrockets and my stomach twists. The realization that both of us are growing up kind of hurts. He lets go, popping the pleasant bubble. I stay behind, sitting on one of the three chairs in front of the hearth, contemplating. Time passes and the door opens, I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here but the fire has extinguished leaving only a trail of smoke. My gaze locks on to the eldest as he – again- extends his hand. I grab hold of it, my gaze locked onto his. The nerves I have felt before are completely gone and together we walk outside.
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The light outside is blinding, after sitting inside the hut for a few hours. My eyes adjust and search for Arkyn, Myrial, and Armaia but there is no sign of them, however, my eyes do detect my parents. The familiar figures I have missed this morning, comfortable standing in the circle and chanting. The small, more well-fed figure with long braided hear next to the large, muscular, bearded figure. A warm feeling spreads in my chest. The eldest leads me to the center of the circle and I see there is a huge stone that probably serves as a chair, he lets me settle. Once I have settled myself the eldest approaches me and places his index finger on my forehead, and he starts chanting together with the rest of the people on the outline of the circle. My vision turns white and a sudden tiredness washes over me like I am being subdued in the deep waters of the ocean.
When I open my eyes things are different. I find myself under a large tree, however, this tree is not like the normal spruces that surround our village. This tree has more characteristics of a weeping willow, but it doesn’t have leaves. It is light blue and there are icicles hanging from the branches. My eyes wander over the tree, looking for specialties. Then my attention is drawn towards the piece of bark right in front of me, my feet walk forward as if they are controlled by someone else. There is this sensation of tingling in my feet as I reach the tree. I can discern a little excision in the bark of the tree and it closely resembles a hand. I hesitate. What is going to happen? What is this place? I turn my head, looking for any signs that will betray what this place actually is. This is in vain, the only thing that is really of importance is the tree. The landscape is white, there is nothing else. My head starts to spin, my hand grabs the bark of the tree. It is too late when I realize that I just put my hand in the intended excision. I try to pull back my hand but it’s stuck. The cold coming from the tree starts seeping into my hand and the fear rises in me. The temperature continues to lower and for a second I think my arm is going to fall off, it takes me a while before I dare to look down. When my eyes have lowered I see blue lines running in patterns over my arms and settling. My breath starts to quicken as memories return to me in rapid succession. Memories I don’t even want to remember. A scream reaches me and I close my eyes. I don’t have the time to deal with that, my voice goes silent and only when no more sounds come out the understanding that it was my own scream comes. I open my eyes and they follow the pattern that has formed on my body, it pains me to see that it is extremely similar to that man. What could it mean? Why me? What is this? A wave of cold comes crashing through my body and my vision goes completely blank.
There is a hand resting on my shoulder and my consciousness slowly returns to me, grounding me in reality. I look behind me and see the eldest standing there. He stopped chanting. Is the ceremony over? He looks in my eyes. “I thought we lost you, it’s been a while since a ceremony has been this intense. The other three weren’t like this, but I’m glad you’re with us again.” It sounds genuine but there is a hint of fear in his voice. I force myself to look around and see faces filled with curiosity and the feeling of uneasy forms itself in my stomach. I try to stand up but my legs won’t work for some reason. “Take it easy, in these cases it’s best to just lie for a while” he continues with checking if I am okay. “What happened?” The question that has been burning on my tongue since I woke up finally formed itself and found a way out. “Let’s discuss this on a later time.” The eldest quickly dismisses it, as a side issue. It seems he is done checking me and he walks away. Slowly the circle that has been formed for the entire afternoon starts to dissolve and everyone is going home, except for two people. My parents. I stumble towards them, still weak, and fall in their arms. They embrace me and the warmth they give seems to melt the cold in my veins. I want to hold them forever, just to keep out the cold, though my head already accepted the fact that this is not for eternity. The embrace becomes less tight and I muster up the courage to look up and meet their gaze. The curiosity and fear I have seen in the eyes of the others hasn’t reached my parents. They still look at me as their child, even though I got all these weird patterns on my body and the cold seems to radiate off of me. We’re walking home as my dad finally starts to speak. “Son, we know you think that everybody is afraid of you but you mustn’t let that influence you.” This is not what I expected. “But have you seen how they looked at me!?” My voice doesn’t obey me anymore as the volume keeps getting louder. “Dear, it’s okay. You don’t have to scream, we’re not mad” My mom interferes, she never does that and it conjures up the thought that what they really mean what they tell me. “I’m scared Mom, Dad.” They must have heard the fear in my voice since they start walking a little closer to me. The feeling of safety and security increases and I enjoy it for the cold won’t take long to take over my body again.
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I lie in bed contemplating what all of this was and what it all must mean. The seven blankets on me are still not enough to remove all the cold in my body. The symbols and patterns on my body start pulsating and my breathing quickens. I see a figure in the doorway holding a little body. He starts walking towards me. No, this can’t be. This isn’t real, it’s just a figment of my imagination. I think. To get rid of the illusion I blink multiple times only to find that it doesn’t help anything. I run to the cooking corner and find a sharp bone, there is not a single drop of hesitation when I plummet the bone in my hand. A scream of agony escapes and I look over my shoulder. The figure is gone. I must be going mad, there is no other explanation! My mom comes in and looks at me. “What happened? Why did you scream!?” As soon as she catches sight of the bone stuck in my she runs towards me but stops in her tracks what she sees next. The bone hasn’t drawn any blood, instead, it’s a blueish liquid that freezes as soon as it leaves contact with my body. My eyes won’t stop looking at my hands and I am paralyzed. Minutes pass and only then my mom manages to sit down and I can move again. The first thing that I do is pulling the bone out of my hand, and looking down in horror to see as my skin regenerates with an icy-blue hue. After mere seconds it seems like nothing has passed. Mom still looks at me, although most fear has fled her face there is still something in her eyes that is not quite normal. “Mom, I -..” I try to explain things but as I try she stops me. “Actually I had hoped this would come at a later moment, but it seems this cannot wait any longer. Come with me and do not wander off.” Her voice has gone from sweet to stern and it worries me. She urges me to put on my boots and walks outside, she’s quick and keeping up is hard. We hurry through the sleeping village, careful to not wake up anyone. The road under our feet changes as we go along and after a solid ten minutes of walking the path we were walking on has completely vanished and my boots only meet the fluffy texture of snow. I am entranced when I see where we have arrived. It is a large cave, there is a torch flickering in front of the cave.
Mom grabs the torch and starts talking. “It has been ages since we have had someone like you in our midst. Before I explain all of this to you, you must know that the fear mustn’t take over.” She stays quiet for a few moments and continues to walk into the cave. I hear the water dripping down and hitting the stone, I see the darkness swallowing up the space behind us and the light revealing the less explored ground in front of us. She holds the silence and when we reach a wall full of drawings a deep sigh escapes her. Mom takes a deep breath and begins.
“When our tribe was still very small and settling in this area we had little to go on. There were a lot of trees but furthermore, there were not many tools we could use. Over the ages, we have developed not only a normal way of life but we have also developed a way of life in the spiritual world. A way to awaken the power of our ancestors within us, so that we may live life to the fullest with them by our side. We created a ritual that allowed us to tap into powers beyond our reach and to build a bridge between the two worlds. The ritual you had to go through. But there is one deviating occurrence that always happened, one person who did not fit in with the rest. These persons weren’t always seen before the ritual since the powers hadn’t manifested yet, however after the ceremony it always became clear. And the fact that they didn’t fit in scared people. You, my son, you are such a person.”
She must have seen the doubt and the lack of understanding in my eyes because soon after she finished she continued.
“The people had more powers than the others, stronger power than the others. At first, people thought it was because older, stronger ancestors had bound themselves to them but soon this was discarded since in our history all of us were equal in strength. Generations of elders retreated in their own huts hoping to find a possible reason for this extraordinary occurrence. Three generations ago there was a breakthrough, these people did not get bonded with their ancestors. They were favored by the spirits of ice and cold themselves, given their powers but with a price.”
She turns around and looks into my eyes. “You have felt it haven’t you, the cold coursing through your veins and the patterns on your body.” I can only nod, it all feels too much to take in. Mom strides towards me and grabs my shoulders, the warmth of her hands enveloping my cold shoulders. A warm blanket surrounding me. “Don’t be afraid of your powers, else they will find their own way out and that is not always what you want to happen. Try to harness them, try to help people. You will get there! Come here” She embraces me again, and it feels like coming home. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes and soon there is no stopping them. Together we walk to the exit of the cave and quietly get back to the house.
Morning light pours into my room and wakes me. The happenings of last night still haven’t been erased from my memories and keep me busy from the moment I awoke. Getting out of bed, the cold in my veins seemed to have lessened in intensity. My parents are already up and getting breakfast ready, I sit down and exchange looks with my mother. A little flicker of trust and love about last night lights up in her eyes and then extinguishes. Dad hasn’t noticed it and I’m glad he still does the things he usually does. “Assembly is today, we’re talking about the callings of Myrial, Armaia, Arkyn and you. See what you will be up to in your lives.” He is nervous, I can tell from the tone in his voice and how short he keeps this announcement. My stomach clenches and from experience and I can tell this won’t be over in a day.
During the day, the thought of the Assembly does not leave my mind. I scurry through the woods not knowing where my legs will bring me. Then they stop, I take a look around me and my surrounding look awfully similar. The memory of that faithful day returns and a shiver runs along my spine. I hear the laughter again, high and mesmerizing, the realization is there that these high voices are all around me yet I only see trees. The cold in my veins is instantly there again, and the power of this cold fills my body. The patterns on my body begin to glow and I close my eyes. When I open them again after a few seconds creatures fly all around me. Tiny bodies with wings just gliding through the air, their laughter filling the woods and resonating in my head. My powers start surging through my body. The need to try my power increases and I find myself wanting it more and more. I stretch my arms forward and will the cold to manifest outside of my body in small crystals. My eyes widen and I gasp for air as the cold seems to tear my flesh and shoot of my body, however, this doesn’t happen in front of my eyes instead the air around me seems to cluster together and freeze in place creating little ice crystals. It surprises me with how little energy this cost, even though the pain was almost unbearable. The little creatures stop flying and land on the little clusters of ice floating before me. I let out a laugh. The sun hangs a little low and after thinking about it, I make the decision to go home. I wave to the little creatures and plan to go the library hut tomorrow to research a bit on the creatures.
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It’s already dark when I open the door and mom just finished cooking. She looks up and smiles “Hello honey, how was your day?” I let out a sigh. “Weird, but not bad” Deep within me the desire that she got the hint fires up. “Alright, let’s talk some more tonight after dinner. I want to know all about it” Even though the smile did not disappear from her face, her voice sounded a sterner and it gives me some relief that she knows what I meant. The door opens once more and dad comes in. He sits down and looks at me, worried. “Asger, I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you tonight.” A hardball forms in my stomach. He continues “Your calling lies not with us, you have a week.” His words cut like knives aimed with perfect accuracy. It’s only now that I hear that his voice is trembling. I know better than to go against it and instead of starting an argument I run towards mom and dad and start hugging them as if today is my last day. The rest of the night goes by in silence, it’s evident that we’re all lost in thought. Even mom didn’t come to talk to me anymore.
In the following few days I go to the library to find more out about these creatures that seem to be attached to me for some reason. I find out that these are winter sprites, little fey-like creatures who like to play and adore the cold. Could they be attracted by the cold in my veins? Or are there any other reasons? I make it my goal to find that out when I am traveling. Next to going to the library the woods are also a place of solace for me. A place where I can practice without others interfering and soon I am able to master the cold a bit more. On the fifth day Arkyn comes to visit me and we walk into the woods. Within ten minutes we find an open spot between the trees, he looks different. He has new tattoos on his hands. He catches my eyes looking down. “Yeah, I know right. It’s weird knowing an ancestor has bonded with you.” His voice sounds raw.
“What are your powers?” I ask.
“The ability to put thoughts in others mind, nothing much. At least, it’s not as cool as what you are able to achieve.”
“Are you jealous?” I chuckle
“Yeah, I might.” A mischievous smile forms on his handsome face.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too, let’s use the time we still have” He leans forward and his lips touch mine. An explosion in my chest warms my body to the point where it feels like I am on fire. His lips taste like the cherries we always have in the summer and I want to drown in this feeling. His tongue finds his way to mine and they perform a intricate choreography. My hand moves up to his neck and touches his soft skin. I imprint this moment in my mind to never forget it. Then he pulls away and looks me in the eyes. I can tell that he wants me, and this feeling mutual. I grab his hand and together we look at the sky. “What will you do now?” Arkyn doesn’t bother concealing his sadness.
“Wandering around, seeing what my powers are and how to utilize them to their fullest potential.”
“Will you still think of me when you are traveling?”
I sit up. “Of course I will, give me one possible reason why not?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you have made new friends?” He stares at me.
I lean in and kiss him again. “I hope this answers your question.” He smiles and nods. We lie there for the rest of the day, enjoying each other and not thinking about the future.
A week has passed, the days have gone by much quicker than I wanted them to be. Dad comes in with his hands behind his back. “Hey kid, do you have everything?” I point at my bag, signaling that I have everything packed and ready to go. He smiles faintly and gets his hands from behind his back, in his hand, there is a small wooden figure. It looks like me. “Arkyn gave it to me this morning with the question if you will ever come back.” My heart starts beating faster. “Dad, tell him that I will. I will come back.” I get my bag and walk down together with dad, mom is already waiting by the door. Silently I wish this power would have never chosen me, so I’d never have to leave my family and most importantly Arkyn. I hug them both and when I step outside Arkyn is waiting for me despite the fact that my dad said he already came by. Before I know what I am doing my feet are already running towards him, I jump into his arm and kiss him. “Make sure you come back, otherwise I will come and get you. I thought it was important to say this another time to you personally.” The words are said with the utmost caution but he smirks a little. “Don’t worry.” I hush him. Then I get down and start walking into the woods, looking back every five meters and waving. Off to another place and new adventures.
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