"Hum-dee-dum-hum..." , I sing to myself as I pick out a gorgeous set of diamond embroidered gold earings. "Katelyn will love it," I explain with glee to Angela , who stands by me with a hesitant look on her face. She looks me meekly in the eyes but doesn't say anything. "What?" I ask , partly annoyed .579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftDnlh9Rl2
"Don't get me wrong Janice..." she finally blurts, "but don't you think this is a bit extreme? Why don't you gift her a designer dress or watch like the rest of us? It's the thought that counts , not the price."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5mlq9tmBs
"Well my thoughts say that this will look beautiful on her, and that's why I want to buy it." I mutter back. "Besides, it is my best friend's birthday!" That's why I earn so much, so I get to spend it for my loved ones."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GLuB6zxwe
"Janice," Angela says as we head to the checkout counter , "did you check with Josh?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI0mqVefZ2
"Come on Angela! You know how we are, I don't need to check with him. We are spouses, not each other's finance managers." 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstrzB8CLaW
"But Janice... I have a feeling he won't be happy about this. He would have to make his peace with it."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkJNJgaxld
"I don't dictate what he does with his 'hard earned money'", I reply as the girl's scanner goes beep on the tag. Angela sighs . 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGO5g7Ry9t
"Anyway , I thought I was YOUR best friend" , she says sarcastically. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TFc3kbfQH
"You are too," I wink at her. "I love you all equally." Angela utters another sigh as the girl thanks us for shopping at StarJewels . 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf4NTrlc8y
"You are so immature sometime, Janice."
Katelyn's face glows up like the December Christmas lights as she opens up my gift. "Janice , this is beautiful!" She launches herself onto me with a full-fledged hug. "Oh My God, this is more beautiful than Trot's gift. This must have cost you a fortune . I am surprised Josh agreed to it! Thank him for me , would'ya." Katelyn frees me from her tight hug. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnslJifdOYs
"He doesn't know," Angela blurts out from behind. I eye her angrily. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDog7taMMBf
"Janice, are you insane ! Josh is going to be so pissed," Katelyn screams. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J7JJihjjY
"It's okay , Kate, we have it figured out," I reassure her. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DBrgzeRXu
"Ladies and ... more ladies!" Trot enters with a beer crate. "It's time to hit the floor, Let the party begin!"
Three hours later , I hit the beanbag completely drunk . My short white Flinfora dress has beer stains and mustard all over it. Trot helps me out of the dress and into his sweatpants and sweatshirt. "Hey sweetie, Josh will be here to pick you up in an hour." He then goes back to Kate, still composed and tidy.
15 minutes later Angela walks in, followed by Kate. I am in a much better position now, the alcohol slowly waning off, replaced by an unbearable headache . "Janice, we wanted to talk to you."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqLwe1aGvQ
"Fire away," I say, obviously still a bit trippy. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hzhZbrf0m
"Don't you ever wonder if we should start having our birthday parties in some upstate restaurants from now on?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwSml7vpfQ
"What, Why?" I mutter, flustered. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSktIQYPf9n
"Well Trot isn't exactly happy with me behaving like a 20 year old anymore." Says Katelyn. "And he shouldn't be, now that we are preparing for a baby and everything."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuLCBQju95
"What are you talking about Kate? He goes to the bar every Saturday!"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtzNmd35kE
"Yes, Jane, I understand, but he's trying too. He didn't go last week."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SmKjcEuKU
"Yes, he did. I saw him," I say. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cHyxiBc7l
"Look Janice," Angela takes over, "being married is a lot of responsibility . You may feel .... shackled ... sometimes . You just have to accept it. Free spirited to a point is fine, but you really should think more when it comes to ... decisions which may affect your marriage."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEJTT0AtGM
"And what are these decisions, Ang? Buying a gift for my friend or celebrating her birthday? I understand your worries. You are my friends and want the best for me. I get it, but Josh and I are fine! He does his thing, and I do mine. He's okay with it. We have talked about this, and he has no problem with my shopping or partying or travelling. That's one of the reasons I married him. He loves me for who I am; he enjoys my free spiritedness. And I am in no way 'shackled,' Angela. Trust me." 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcowe0HGvJG
"Sometimes the chains aren't visible, Jan." Angela whispers back, probably scared of saying too much. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2Ny3XACY1
"Hey," I draw Angela into an embrace, "We are fine! You guys have to trust me , I know Josh. There is nothing to be worried about. He knows it's my money I'm spending, and that my life doesn't necessarily have to overlap with his in all spheres. Listen to me. I got the best husband in the world." 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfz7Nu1GWHS
"Well if all of this is true, then I think you do." Kate says, joining in on the embrace. As if on cue, the car horn sounds. "Josh is here," says Kate, "come on."
"Hey Kate," Josh plants a kiss on her cheek, followed by the same for Angela. Trot comes in, and they both fist bump. "What happened to that beautiful white dress?" Josh exclaims. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaWunFizJl
"I had to change--beer stains and mustard," I smile at him. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO58WTQjhlJ
"You and your drinking," he rolls his eyes. I slap him playfully.
We say our goodbyes and make way to our car. The ride home was a silent one. Solitude and serenity-- what we do require at the end of the day. I unlock the house and change into my pajamas. I take an aspirin for that unbearing headache. I sit at the couch and rest my eyes, allowing the aspirin to take over. Josh joins me. I open my eyes and look at him. However, today, I notice something I never noticed before. Something that had long been hiding in his eyes, and showed itself only today. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFunLoDIS2b
"Janice, I love you honey, but you have to stop."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ552NGNZR6h
"Stop what?" I ask, treading. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMsrdrkGQy
"This nonsense."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMbM7Bcsxk
"Nonsense?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cqt2PETBs
"The drinking and partying," he says, a hint of impatience in his voice. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZavhWd1CZD
"You drink and party." 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01hf6oBZHf
"That is different."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlLNRBWYo3
"How?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThpnFfCIwo
"You won't understand."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT5DGKBUn7
"Try me."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPjolRw2Yg
"Forget it. I'd love it if for once you'd say ' OK I understand.'"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSYKXVOhS8
"I don't understand."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8pINmltZV
"Why are you always so stubborn," he says, his voice still soft. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxT3KCilQR
"I thought you liked that about me. Remember, you always used to say that my not giving in was what made you pursue me even more." He looks into my eyes, but doesn't say anything. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCj6DgNZEC9
"Josh," I caress his face in my hands, my voice almost a whisper, "you've changed."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQk2wyAYNH
"No," he says, "I haven't. Katelyn and Trot are preparing for a baby, but what are we doing? Getting drunk and letting stranger men change our clothes?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeKAYPI6Ow
"Trot isn't a stranger," my hand withdrawing. "And we talked about the baby thing. I have work commitments, and promotional jobs are in a year..."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUoJhU2ubH
"So?" He shouts, irritated. "Wouldn't it be just easier to pretend that you're barren?!"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnExdnLqSQA
"Josh," I say, almost in tears, "I want kids too, but..." I break off, covering my face with my hand. 579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz5qGBCbkW
"I'd much rather get a divorce than deal with this everyday." He shouts, or mutters, and walks out on me. I hear the bedroom door open and shut. That does it. The word. DIVORCE . I raise my hands. They are shackled. I pull at my hair and wring my hands. The words "No, you haven't " echo in my mind again and again. I wipe my tears and make my way to the bedroom. Josh has drifted off. I write a note on a piece of paper and place it on his bedside table.
"I understand. I am sorry for hurting you . We'll talk in the morning".
I plant a kiss on his cheek and go to sleep. He doesn't move.
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