When you care about someone and truly love them you would do anything for them even if that means keeping a secret from the ones you love the most. I have a secret one that if I told anyone would break my family apart it breaks me everyday but they are more important so I keep quiet. My deepest secret is I’m in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. She’s more than just my best friend though. She is my sister and my family. I didn’t mean to fall in love with Elijah but I did want what the heart wants right? My heart aches every time I see them together Elijah kissing her softly, or holding her hand, while whispering sweet nothings into her ear it hurts. Lily is happy with Elijah though and I will not get in the way of that. All I want is for them to be happy and if they are happy together then I am happy. I want you to imagine something for me, close your eyes and imagine what would happen if your deepest secret got out? Who would be affected by it? I know that if my deepest darkest secret got out of my whole world would be destroyed would yours to? I sigh as I reach my first period. I stood outside looking around for Lily or Elijah. I closed my eyes and rubbed my head lightly. I had a pounding headache. I had been up all night crying my eyes out heaving and sobbing and crying all the more because I couldn’t control it. This had been going on for a week now the whole week I hadn’t slept more than four hours and it was beginning to show. I just hoped that Elijah and Lily didn’t see the bags under my eyes and the veins that were running through them that were barely covered by my makeup. It wasn’t only the physical aspects though it was also the mental aspects. I was so utterly tired, and I had a pounding headache, and my eyes burned whenever I tried to work. I sighed again as I leaned against the door praying that I could get a few precious seconds of sleep because at this point even a minute seemed precious to me.
“Hey Primrose’’ I heard someone say from behind me I didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Elijah though I would recognize his angelic voice anywhere. He’s voice was rugged yet soft and gentle. Many thought that Elijah was the school’s “bad boy” because he wore weather and smoked and went out to parties every other night. That wasn’t him though the real Elijah was kind and caring and an amazing person underneath it all. I was the same though I had the reputation of being the school’s “Ice queen” and “bad girl” I wore leather jackets and smoked and skipped class to everyone thought that I was emotionless. The truth was that I had too many emotions, too much love was swirling in my heart when Elijah was around. I had never known that a human being could love. Another human being so very much but I loved him not just with my heart but also with my soul.
“Hey Elijah,” I said, after realizing that I had been staring into space for the past couple of minutes I sighed before giving him a small smile. He smiled back at me and my heart fluttered rapidly. He had a perfect smile. Everything about him was perfect. Dark black hair that was always combed neat to the side, he also had these deep blue eyes that were dark and stormy. Everyone says the eyes are the window to the soul but I had never believed it not until I met Elijah he was just so utterly perfect. Elijah knew me better than I knew myself sometimes he knew when to talk to me and when not to. When to snap me out of my daydreaming and when not to he was perfect I wished he would see just how much I love him. Though at the same time I wished he wouldn’t he’s with Lily, my best friend. I could never do anything like that so here I would never hurt her willingly.
“Hey Prim” He said slowly, looking me up and down I shivered under his gaze. It got too intense so I looked away as did Elijah.
“Have you been sleeping okay” Elijah said he moved closer to me and gently put his hand under my my and wiped the makeup off under my eye. I wished he hadn’t, my breathing was coming out ragged as he touched my face so tenderly.
“Prim ‘’ He said in a stern tone I saw Lily coming then wearing a big smile on her face Lily was so pretty more than I could ever be Lily had wavy hair that was light brown with blond highlights. She had these amazing blue-green eyes that captivated anyone who looked at them even if it was a mere second. I was the complete opposite. I had dark brown hair with red and light brown highlights. My hair , unlike Lily’s, was a tangled mess of curls and my eyes were so dark that they were almost black. Lily had beautiful milky white skin while I had deep brown skin. We were the complete opposite of each other. I sighed and tried to fight the tears off that were threatening to come down my cheek as I saw Elijah lean down and place a soft kiss on Lily’s lips. I watched as my best friend glowed. My heart cracked little by little. My heart was breaking into a million different pieces.
“Prim are you okay” Lily said, giving me a look of concern I had remembered just then that Elijah had wiped my makeup off and you could see the dark circles under my eyes.
“Yes fine Lily, why do you ask?” I said Lily shook her head before pursing her lips.
“You have bags under your eyes, are you sleeping okay?” Lily said voice and eyes filled with concern. I sighed then smiled before pulling out a cigarette and pulling my leather jacket tighter to my body. I puffed out the smoke and giggled when Lily scrunched her face up at the smell.
“I hate when you smoke,” Lily said to me, sighing at the end. I knew she did. Lily told me all the time that cigarettes were bad for me. I knew they were but it was a distraction from my insane love for Elijah. I sighed before dropping the cigarette and stomping it out with the heel on my boot.
“We’re in the middle of a hallway” Lily screeched at me. I could tell she was fuming but I just laughed and rolled my eyes.
“Hey even if I did light the school on fire I would be doing everyone a favor.” I said smirking before pursing my lips
“Yeah you going to jail for Arson would be just great” Lily said sarcastically. I exchanged a look with Elijah and we burst out laughing and Lily. I sighed before winking and Lily and going into class. I sighed as Elijah took a seat next to Lily. I watched as he took her hand and kissed it before kissing her on the lips. I hated it. I wished it was me so bad I thought. I felt tears coming down my face but I didn’t try to stop them from coming down as I looked over at Lily and Elijah I knew that no matter what I did. Or how I felt Elijah would never be mine and I would never be his the realization is what broke my heart completely.
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